Joke of the Day

[fixthecopier]

A Jewish man sends his son to Israel to live there for a while. Eventually he returns home and he is now a Christian. The man finds this to be odd and mentions it to his friend.
The friend listens, thinks for a moment and says, "That's odd. I sent my son to Israel as a Jew and he returned as a Christian." So the two of them went to see the Rabbi.
They told the Rabbi the story of how they had both sent their sons to Israel as Jews, and how both sons had returned as Christians. The Rabbi listened, thought for a minute and then said "That's odd. I also sent my son to Israel as a Jew and he returned as a Christian."
So the three of them decide to go to Israel to find out what's going on over there. The arrive and go straight to the Western Wall to pray. They explain to God all about how they sent their sons to Israel as Jews and how the all returned as Christians."
There is a long silence, and then God begins to speak saying, "That's odd . . . "

[bob marley]

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were
sitting on a bench under a tree when one turned to the other and said:
John, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains.
I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
John said, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.''Really!? Like a newborn baby?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants

[TheBlueOrleans]

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were
sitting on a bench under a tree when one turned to the other and said:
John, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains.
I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
John said, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.''Really!? Like a newborn baby?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants

That reminds me of one of my old friends' Philosophies of Life

"I want to leave this world the same way I entered it. Butt-naked, screaming and covered in blood that ain't mine!"

(Now that I think about it, I don't think he meant that to be sexual but it could easily be misconstrued. Gross.)

[NeoMatrix]

That reminds me of one of my old friends' Philosophies of Life

"I want to leave this world the same way I entered it. Butt-naked, screaming and covered in blood that ain't mine!"

(Now that I think about it, I don't think he meant that to be sexual but it could easily be misconstrued. Gross.)

Yep!, it's one of those mysteries of human nature :
You spend 9-months kicking and screaming to get out, and the rest of your life begging to get back in.

I've been getting severe gravel rash on my knees lately...

...... ....

[bob marley]

A wife was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband's key in the door.
"Stay where you are," she said. "He's so drunk he won't even notice you're in bed with me."
Sure enough, the husband lurched into bed none the wiser, but a few minutes later, through
a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the bed.
He turned to his wife: "Hey, there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What's going on?"
"Nonsense," said the wife. "You're so drunk you miscounted. Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there."
The husband climbed out of bed and counted. "One, two, three, four. You're right, you know

[skynet]

I guess EU has now 1 GB of free space.

[skynet]

'Brexit' to be followed by Grexit. Departugal. Italeave. Fruckoff. Czechout. Oustria. Finish. Slovakout. Latervia. Byegium.

[qbert69]

MonkeyPNose.jpg

Teeheehee!!!

[slimslob]

[emujo]

Guy goes into his doctors office and tells him he's having difficulty getting an erection with his wife, it's been months and his wife is miserable. Doctor says let check you out and run some blood tests, blood pressure and a few other test. All the test come back negative so he says maybe it's your wife. He brings the wife in for an examination, has her fully undress, turn around a few times, has her raise her arms above her head, and has her bend over and touch her toes. He goes back to the husband and says, "I couldn't get an erection with her either. Emujo