Thread: Joke of the Day

  1. #3761
    Senior member of CRS 2,500+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by NeoMatrix View Post
    The Sargent at arms orders his small platoon along a narrow mountain trail.
    The point guard comes to a holt an points down at the ground.
    The Sargent learns over his shoulder and says "whats that on the ground?"

    PG: It looks like dog poo.
    SG: Feel it...
    PG: What!
    SG: That's an order.
    PG: It feels like dog poo.
    SG: Smell it...
    PG: What!!!!....
    SG: That's an order.
    PG: Smells like dog poo.
    SG: Taste it...
    PG: WWHHHATTTT!!!!!
    SG: That's an order...
    PG: Pppfff.., it tastes like dog poo.. ppthff!!
    SG: Whew!, thank god we didn't step in it.
    SG: FORRWARRD!!!!
    How do I get a copy of that "GROAN" button?
    "You can't trust your eyes, if your mind is out of focus" --

  2. #3762
    Service Manager 10,000+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    My girlfriend the other day said " Honey I think you need to go to the doctor and get some of those pills to make you hard".
    So the next day I went, came back and threw her a bottle of diet pills.
    I am searching for a new girlfriend.

  3. #3763
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    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by ZOOTECH View Post
    How do I get a copy of that "GROAN" button?
    Here you go


    Groan.jpg
    At least 50% of IT is a solution looking for a problem.

  4. #3764
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts bob marley's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Live for yourself and you will live in vain. Live for others, and you will live again

  5. #3765
    Technician 50+ Posts mthomasebs's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    What does Mr Miyagi do to relax?

    Whacks off.

  6. #3766
    Senior Tech 100+ Posts
    Joke of the Day


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    Re: Joke of the Day

    LEARNING TO CUSS
    A 6 year old and a 4 year old are raking the yard. The 6 year old asks, "You know what? I think it's about time we started learning to cuss".
    The 4 year old nods his head in approval.
    The 6 year old continues, "When we go in for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass".
    The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
    When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."
    WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!"
    She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"
    "I don't know", he blubbers, "but you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios."
    When I started servicing copiers they used toaster ovens for fusers.....I'm old

  7. #3767
    ALIEN OVERLORD 2,500+ Posts fixthecopier's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    John was unable to chose between 2 girls.
    So he asked his friend Gary for help deciding which girl to be with.
    John: I'm devoted to Kate but Edith is my dream girl, she's all I've ever wanted.
    Gary: Then you should be with Edith.
    John: But I love Kate and could never leave her...
    Gary: Then you should stay with Kate.
    John: But I also want to be with Edith, I can't miss this opportunity!
    Gary: You can't have your Kate and Edith too.
    The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking

  8. #3768
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts bob marley's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    A 60 year old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception.

    His friends are quite jealous and in a quiet moment one of them asks him how did he land such a hot 23 year old beauty?

    “Simple,” grins the millionaire, “I faked my age."

    His friends are really amazed and ask him how much he said.

    "Well", he replied. "I said I was 87!"

    Live for yourself and you will live in vain. Live for others, and you will live again

  9. #3769
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

    Lagonda's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by bob marley View Post
    A 60 year old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception.

    His friends are quite jealous and in a quiet moment one of them asks him how did he land such a hot 23 year old beauty?

    “Simple,” grins the millionaire, “I faked my age."

    His friends are really amazed and ask him how much he said.

    "Well", he replied. "I said I was 87!"

    So thats how Donald got Melania!
    At least 50% of IT is a solution looking for a problem.

  10. #3770
    Senior Tech 100+ Posts
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    A psychic in Arizona survived being hit by a car the other day. Says He never saw it coming...
    When I started servicing copiers they used toaster ovens for fusers.....I'm old

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