Thread: Joke of the Day

  1. #3771
    Service Manager 10,000+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

    Phil B.'s Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    What do you call a whore with one leg?

    ILean


    What do you call a Hispanic whore with no legs?

    CuntSwayLo


    What you you call a whore that runs for POTUS?

    Hillary Clinton

  2. #3772
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    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by Phil B. View Post
    What do you call a whore with one leg?

    ILean


    What do you call a Hispanic whore with no legs?

    CuntSwayLo


    What you you call a whore that runs for POTUS?

    Hillary Clinton
    A five year old at a birthday party who thinks he has missed out on the cake. Lol


    http://www.copytechnet.com/forums/re...arkovic-063238

  3. #3773
    ALIEN OVERLORD 2,500+ Posts fixthecopier's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    The Boston Symphony is preforming Beethoven's ninth.
    In the piece, there’s about a 20 min long passage during which the double basses have nothing to do. Rather than sit around the whole time looking stupid, some bassists decided to sneak offstage and go to the tavern next door for a quick drink. After slamming several beers in quick succession (as double bassists are pone to do), one of them looked at his watch, “Hey! We need to get back!”
    “No need to panic,” said a fellow bassist. “I thought we might need some extra time, so I tied the last few pages of the conductor’s score together with string. I’ll take him a few minutes to get it untangled.”
    A few minutes later they staggered back to the concert hall and took their places in the orchestra. About this time, a member of the audience noticed the conductor seemed a bit edgy and said as much to her date.
    “Well, of course,” said her date. “Don’t you see? It’s the bottom of the Ninth, the score is tied, and the bassists are loaded.”
    The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking

  4. #3774
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    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    A baseball announcer was once asked to describe a hotel room scene where there was found a nearly empty whiskey bottle and a couple unconscious on the bed fully nude.

    The announcer said " Bottom of the fifth, two out and nothing on."

  5. #3775
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts bob marley's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman
    He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment.
    The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
    "No", he replies, "I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it."
    The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"
    The cowboy explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."
    The lady says, "What's it telling you now?"
    "Well, it says you're not wearing any panties."
    The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!"
    The cowboy smiles, taps his watch and says, "Damn thing's an hour fast."
    Live for yourself and you will live in vain. Live for others, and you will live again

  6. #3776
    Senior Tech 100+ Posts TheBlueOrleans's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    One that made my wife laugh, since she has seen Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2 already and I have not:

    "What does an apple say?"

    "I am Froot."




    I do believe I have warped her sense of humor.
    Somewhere there is a tree working hard to produce oxygen for you to live, NOW GO APOLOGIZE TO IT!

  7. #3777
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by bob marley View Post
    A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman
    He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment.
    The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
    "No", he replies, "I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it."
    The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"
    The cowboy explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."
    The lady says, "What's it telling you now?"
    "Well, it says you're not wearing any panties."
    The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!"
    The cowboy smiles, taps his watch and says, "Damn thing's an hour fast."
    DAMN if that doesn't sound like a good pickup line for my neck of the woods!

  8. #3778
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    Re: Joke of the Day


  9. #3779
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    Re: Joke of the Day


  10. #3780
    ALIEN OVERLORD 2,500+ Posts fixthecopier's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Two aliens are flying near earth.
    The first one says, "The dominant life form here have developed satellite based nuclear weapons."
    The second one says, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"
    The first one says, "I don't think so, they have it aimed at themselves."
    The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking

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