Joke of the Day

[slimslob]

WORST FOURSOME IN GOLF HISTORY

1. STORMY DANIELS
2. O. J. SIMPSON
3. TED KENNEDY
4. BILL CLINTON

WHY ? (you ask)

1. STORMY IS A HOOKER.
   
2. O. J. IS A SLICER.
   
3. TED CAN’T DRIVE OVER WATER, and
   
4. BILL CAN’T REMEMBER WHICH HOLE HE PLAYED LAST.

[slimslob]

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.
‘What was that for?’ the man asked. The wife replied ,
‘That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket’.
The man then said ‘When I was at the races last week ,Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on.’ The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied. ‘Your horse phoned’

[NeoMatrix]

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.
‘What was that for?’ the man asked. The wife replied ,
‘That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket’.
The man then said ‘When I was at the races last week ,Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on.’ The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied. ‘Your horse phoned’

and said --RUN! FOREST!, RUN!!!.....

[fixthecopier]

Years ago, I decided I wanted to be a doctor, so I took the entrance exam to go to medical school.
One of the many questions on human anatomy asked was to rearrange the letters “PNEIS" into the name of "an important human body part which is most useful when erect."
Those who answered "spine" are now doctors
The rest of us are posting jokes on social media.

[fixthecopier]

My friend Karen and I visited a place where you can stand in three states at once; Oklahoma, Kansas and Missouri. It was then that Karen opened up to me and said that she was in a fourth state, crippling depression. I said, "That's not fair, you can't count Missouri twice."

[Phil B.]

Robert Muller

[fixthecopier]

The furniture store keeps calling me...but all I wanted was that one nightstand.

[KenB]

Why aren't "Number 2" pencils brown?

[Iowatech]

Lies, damn stinking lies!
Cracker-lies.jpg

[slimslob]

Stolen from qwaddle on Facebook.

Dreams are weird:
Due to lack of sleep last night, I had to take a bit if a nap this afternoon. Actually, I probably would have taken one anyway. Anyway, I was back working on copiers and we got a call to come work on one. We were pretty sure it was just a dirty sensor or something simple like that, so naturally, all three of us (I'm not sure who the other two guys were) went on the call.
We drove from here to Utah (about 900 miles/1450km) and then hired a car and driver to take us up into the mountains. He drove us to within a mile of the customer's house and we had to walk the rest of the way. That's when I woke up, so I'm not sure if we fixed it or not.