Things that piss the poor customer off...

**fixthecopier** · 05-04-2012

When you have one of those weeks where karma challenges you to rise above, nothing spurs you on like customers telling you how the copier being broke has interfeered with their day. So in an effort to help the customer have a better day, I thought I would list things that piss them off so we can avoid them.

Not making them your first stop
Having to order parts
Trying to fix it while they are using it
Not showing up with supplies you were supposed to know they needed
Not giving them a new machine
Not being able to correct design flaws created by the factory
Not making the new machine do everything the machine they liked did
Techs not dressing better, after all we are paid $100 an hour.

I think those things are pretty common among techs. Now I have a few that may only be relevant to me. Keep in mind I work for the military and they can be challenging at times...

Asking the customer "Are you stupid?"
Telling the customer "This is the stupidest thing I have seen in a while"
Telling the customer "A new copier will not make the people using it any smarter than they already are."
Sarcastically telling the customer " I got a new copier for you on the roof of my truck, but I need some men to help get it down"... and then laughing when they believe you and go outside to look for it"
Telling an officer the machine jams because it knows he is an officer and smells fear and he should get an enlisted man to make his copies
In a room full of major's and colonel's, telling a joke that starts with "How many officers does it take to load paper in a copier?"
Threatening to shoot your customer
Writing helpful notes on the machine
Asking the customer if technology is a new consept to them
Telling a commander that the military waste too much money on drug testing, they should do random IQ testing instead
When your most "pain in the ass" customer tells you they are going to get a machine from your competitor , you laugh out loud, clap your hands and exclaim "Wow I dodged a bullet there"
Pulling the staples or toner out of their working machine because they have not paid their bill
Changing the screen language to Japanese and leaving
Telling them "It has to be my fault, I let my guard down and forgot who the hell I was working for. STUPID!"
[ this one was after taking more than 1 visit to find out they had cut open a water filter and poured chacoal in my toner bottle and then called in for poor print quality ]

Well I hope some of this helps you in the future...

**Kidaver** · 05-04-2012

This is great...having recently gotten out of the military...and my sarcastic and cynical attitude I've done a few things similar to this and wondered how I was never written up....especially while deployed in Iraq...there was this 2nd Lt and MSG I would call morons to their face on a daily basis....and me being just an E4....but I learned pretty quickly in the military...don't find the NCO or Officer in charge...find the poor SPC that's doing his job for him to get things done

**prntrfxr** · 05-04-2012

I'm sure everyone has slipped up by accident at one time or another. I think you could probably get away with the things said to military people, though. The clients I've dealt with in the past tend to be spoiled, uppity and very quick to call my boss. The important thing is to learn how to recover when you slip up.

Me: Did you plug it in?

Client: (sigh) Yes

Me: Did you turn it on?

Client:

Of course...I'm not stupid!

Me: Right...hmm...did you check the power cable in the back of the printer to make sure it didn't come out on that end?

Client: For crying out loud, I told you...wait...the back of the printer? It can come unplugged there?

Me: Yup, better check it.

(extended pause)

Client: That's the stupidest design! Why would they make it so the cord can come out? This piece of junk. I'm going to request a new machine.

Me: Why? Just because it made you look bad?

Client: WHAT?!! What's your name again?!!

(^^ My mistake.)(My recovery. vv)

Me: Look, if you had a bad power cord it would be a lot cheaper to just replace the cord rather than the entire power supply, right?

Client: Yeah...

Me: If you moved to a different office and lost your power cord, you can ask your IT department for a computer power cable, because it's the same type. The reason I like it is, I can unplug your printer when I do service and use the same cord to power my vac. Then I don't have to start moving office furniture or crawl between people's legs to find an outlet to plug my vac in. So it was a good design idea, but we just have to remember to check that when our machine doesn't power up.

Client

sigh) Yeah, okay.

Relax, you'd be surprised how many people this happens to. That is why I asked in the first place. At least you didn't leave the paper in the wrapper when you filled the tray and call us up with, "It says add paper on the display."

Client: You have got to be kidding? There are people out there that dumb? (laughing)

**Akitu** · 05-04-2012

And quick thinking saves the day again!

I've not had any slip ups of that caliber yet, however I suspect it's just a matter of time, on a night when the young'un won't let anyone sleep, the breaking point between consciousness and unconsciousness... When maybe, just maybe, something will instantly make me mash my palm into my face.

Here's to hoping we can all maintain the capacity to think quickly should we ever screw up!

**Jules Winfield** · 05-05-2012

God, it would have been so nice to be able to rip into the occasional customer like that when I was working in the field....

**fixthecopier** · 05-08-2012

That is one of the percs of working with a bunch of hard core men who, depending on their rank, are used to being talked to like that. Since a lot of the training instructors are civilians who used to be military, I am mistaken for cadre all the time. A lot of these students are the age of my sons and follow orders very well. Need a ticket signed... "Hey son, sign at the bottom"... "I don't know if I am authorized sir"..."I didn't say you had to sign your name boy, just sign the damn thing"..."Yes Sir".

And lets not forget push ups. Ever wanted your customer punished for being stupid? I get to see that once in a while. Example... I cannot get customers to look in the storage compartment for toner. 1 out of 3 copiers that is down waiting on toner, will have it in the storage compartment. On a busy day my shop is calling me about a toner delivery that is on my schedule. I ignore it because I recently have had toner delivered so I assume it is back up toner. My shop keeps bugging me because they say these guys are calling every 20 minutes. Finally have had enough and swing by the location. I walk into the room where there are about 6 or 7 sergeants sitting around. As I walk in I hear the "It's about time" comment. I walk to the Di250 and kick the door on the metal cabinet. It flys open and 3 or 4 bottles of the 5 they have come rolling out of the cabinet onto the floor. "Who is in charge of this goat fucking? I yelled. {that is slang for a fucked up situation, don't ask me why} A large Master Sergeant walks out to see what is happening. I point to all the toner on the floor and say "I believe push ups are in order" As I left, 6 NCO's are on the floor doing push ups. My work was done there.

**prntrfxr** · 05-08-2012

I could never say that, but there are a few attorneys I would like to see doing push ups.

**Lawrence** · 05-08-2012

Originally Posted by fixthecopier

I point to all the toner on the floor and say "I believe push ups are in order" As I left, 6 NCO's are on the floor doing push ups. My work was done there.

That's awesome.