In the theme of Mad magazine's "Snappy answers to stupid questions.) For Copier Techs.
1. I have a hammer/ gun/ dynamite if that will help. // I have my own fine adjustment tools thank you.
2. You're back. // And my front too.
3. Hasn't worked since the last tech was here.// I WAS the last tech here and the last problem was operator caused.
4. You are her so often we should give you a desk/ parking space/ coffee cup/ office.// I will settle for health insurance.
5. You are here so often we should invite you to the Xmas party.// I am Jewish! I don't have time for parties because I spend too much time babysitting operators like you.
6. Are you here again?// With that kind of attitude, I am surprised you are still here.
7. If it does it again I am going to roll it outside.// Can I watch you try? Your contract doesn't cover weather damage. You brake it, you buy it.
8. It must be bad, you have the book out.// Do you know what wire this goes to? Neither do I, that is why I need the book. Can you memorize 100 + error codes? Do you know the part number for this?
9. Can I make just 1 copy?// Knock yourself out!
10. Are you going to fix it right this time?// It was never broken, I just didn't fix you right, but I can't fix stupid.
11. Is it working?// No it is on a toner break.
12. Is it down?// No just a little depressed.
13. Did we buy a lemon?// No, that is just my cleaner you smell.
14. With so many parts I could get a new machine.// So if your car needs tires, do you buy a new car?
15. Will you clean my house.// Sure, you clean this toner mess and I will clean your clock.
16. I want a new machine.// I will be happy to sell you one, but I can't give you a trade in until you pay for this one.
17. Any of the above.// Laugh and say "That is the first time I heard that." Pause and say "This week."
Just some snappy answers I wish I could say some days.
Think about them when you get the questions and just sit there and giggle. Keeps them guessing.
Bookmarks