Not so funny joke of the day.

**kingarthur** · 08-07-2012

when i've finished a job, customers ask me if it's working...i never say yes...i always say "it appears to be", they ask me how long for, i reply,"it's guaranteed until i walk out of that door"

**Kidaver** · 08-07-2012

Yeah I get the old "Well it's working because you are here." line all the time. I always tell them it's my special aura and then guarantee it until I leave the parking lot.

**Zackuth** · 08-07-2012

I tell the customers that the copier company puts a special chip in my arm that sends a signal to the machine to operate correctly.

**Bantams** · 08-07-2012

I get asked "is it broken?" or "can I use it?" whilst theres no covers on the machine and lots of pieces scattered around where im working on it.

Ive just stopped replying to them like whats the point?

**blsquires** · 08-08-2012

i had a big government building i used to look after ,about 1000 staff and one copier .i got so fed up with the comments i made a sign and stuck it on the wall above the copier.
twelve things your technician has never heard
1/are you here again answer,no i am just a hologram.
2/has the machine broken down again. answer, no i just thought i would come in and strip your machine down as i have nothing else to do.
3/i know the machine is in a thousand bits but can i do one copy answer. no fork off.
4/you should have an office here answer. if i wanted to work with morons i possibly would.
5/we never had a problem with our old machine answer.of course you didnt thats why you got a new one.
6/the last tech said it was damp paper ,but we wrung it out and it still jams answer, tip the water out of the paper tray and try again
7/would a stick of dynamite help answer, only if you shove it up your rear end and light the fuse.
8/you should be on the payroll answer,why has your company decided that it needs someone intelligent on the staff.
9/our copies of invoices are getting lighter and lighter can you fix it answer,yes i will adjust your copier completely out of specs to save you buying a new ribbon for your dot matrix printer.
10/this machine would make a good boat anchor answer.i would have thought if you cant afford a good machine a good boat would be out of the question
11/you should be invited to the christmas staff party answer why do you want to punish me its not my fault if the machine keeps getting broken
12/the technician was only here a couple of weeks ago answer,how many months equal a week in the calender you are working from.

it deffinately stopped the silly questions and i even used to get good morning from most of them

**Copier Whisperer** · 09-14-2012

While working on a copier in a church, and having the service manual open, the pastor said in a very condescending voice "I thought you knew how to work on these. Why do you need a book?" I looked directly in the eye and responded "Why do YOU need a book?" With as much indignation he could muster, he simply left the room. I never saw him again.

**nmfaxman** · 09-14-2012

Originally Posted by Copier Whisperer

While working on a copier in a church, and having the service manual open, the pastor said in a very condescending voice "I thought you knew how to work on these. Why do you need a book?" I looked directly in the eye and responded "Why do YOU need a book?" With as much indignation he could muster, he simply left the room. I never saw him again.

He can't memorize one book, does he expect me to memorize 30 manuals?

**Shadow1** · 09-14-2012

Originally Posted by Kidaver

Yeah I get the old "Well it's working because you are here." line all the time. I always tell them it's my special aura and then guarantee it until I leave the parking lot.

Technician Halitosis - the machine wants me out of here asap, before I breath on it again.

**Akitu** · 09-14-2012

Originally Posted by Shadow1

Technician Halitosis - the machine wants me out of here asap, before I breath on it again.

I just tell them it's the new technician awareness feature they've been installing on all the copiers. 100% fault free operation as long as there is a tech in the nearby vicinity. When it doesn't work I tell them the technician awareness feature isn't working currently, and as a result there's something else out of whack with the machine.