The salesman said what?

[schooltech]

----Does anyone in here know how to adjust the tightness of the pick-up rollers? I'm still trying to get him to tell me how I do that. ----

I would just put a little bit of syrup on the torque limiter to tighten it up a bit.


I'm still never figured out the "I'll have MY technician come out and tighten up a screw" statement referring to a document feeder which would not stay up (due to worn out springs) as said by a salesperson years ago to a customer. Not only did the salesperson NOT tell me about it, but the customer did and wanted me to tighten up 'that' screw. Hmmm........

[mrwho]

"Oh, there are a couple of loose screws, alright, but not on your copier, don't worry!"

[Shadow1]

I wish I could find a copy of my favorite cartoon on this subject - you'll have to settle for a description:

Picture your typical your typical suit and tie, slicked back DA haricut, more teeth than a possum grin salesperson talking to your typical pot gut, pocket protector, bald head, and birth control glasses engineer. In the balloon the salesguy is saying "...now if you guys in engineering can just come up with something even close to what we've already sold customers we'll be in fat city"

[fixthecopier]

"I thought the salesman said it would do color."
"The salesman must of meant two colors sir, black and white."

"The salesman said you could make this used machine as good as a new one."
"I can sir, by selling you a new one."

"The salesman said this machine was 99% jam free, is that true?"
"Yes sir, it is. But that is based on a 100,000,000 print life on the machine, so 1% means that I can safely say you should not get any more than 1,000,000 jams."

Here's something one of our top salesmen would say to customers when he really wanted to sell the service department. One of us techs, the customer and this salesguy would all be talking and he would say this to the customer:

"(Name of whichever tech was standing there) has forgotten more about copiers and IT than you and I will ever know".

I always kind of suspected it was a back-handed compliment, but what do I know?...

[TheOwl]

This is one a sales guy told me about while trying to up grade a machine over the phone.

Sales: I would really like to come out and do a site assesment for your copying needs.
Customer: That would be really great but I am going on holidays for month, but I'll call you when I get back.
Sales: Sure, that would be great. How about I call you instead though just in case you forget?
Customer: Is that some kind of f@$king joke?
Customer promptly slams the phone down.

Our sales guy was a bit dumb founded by what had just happened until it clicked that he was talking to a customer from the Alzheimer's Association.

[schooltech]

Holy shit!!!!!!! Now THAT is hilarious!!!!

It sounds like those regular sales meetings are going very well.

[nmfaxman]

Put a penny on the pick up roller shaft and tell the sales man it needed a twenty dollar bill because of the ink on a twenty is more dense than a one dollar bill.

Can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with BS.

[KenB]

The customer tells the salesman that they have had many unique printing and / or scanning issues, and they're concerned that the new MFPs may have the same problems.

The salesman says: "Don't worry, Mr. Customer! Our guys have seen it all, and can handle any situation!"

He / she doesn't even bother to tell us about it before the installation date.

Then they have the NERVE to ask us after the horrid installation: "Hey, how'd it go at XYZ Company?"

I have amassed an impressive collection of voodoo dolls, just for these types of occasions...

[nmfaxman]

How about the sales-scum that told the customer that EP on a Minolta meant Every Paper?

Having a customer not believe the OP manual, in BLACK AND WHITE, because the salesman said it would.

Going out to a customer just to get a meter reading, (because the salesman said he would), and he is out playing golf.

Don't even get me started about a simple site survey. Will the machine fit where they want it, BIG MISTAKE!