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What was the Dumbest thing you've ever said / done to a customer?

Rants, Raves, and Everything Else

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Old 09-24-2009   #11 (permalink)
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Aaaah the smell of fedron. the memory takes me back, poor lungs and permanently black fingers.
And don't forget about the enlarged liver and shriveled gonads... of course you'd eventually grow a 3rd and 4th testicle to make up for the shrinkage - quantity over quality

For anybody not familiar with the stuff, throwing away the rag you used with it in a customer's garbage can was a big no-no. Your service manager would get a call complaining the tech barfed in their trash can - it literally smelled like day old vomit. People would gag walking by.
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Old 09-24-2009   #12 (permalink)
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I had one customer back in the days of analog machines and uncoated exposure glass that would break out the bottle of windex every night then call for ADF jams the next morning no matter how much I explained it to them. After the 5th time I removed the exposure glass and taped a note to the optics cover: "The Glass is coated with oil to prevent jams - DO NOT clean the glass - You will be billed" and I quoted our labor rate.

I had enough sense to call my boss as I left and told him. Sure enough the customer called back in, but my boss had told me not to touch the machine untill I had a check in my hand.

BTW where did you even find a picture of Fedron - I've got some customers I'd like to pour a capful in their desk drawer...
I'm not sure where I got that picture of Fedron. Its an image I've had stored on my PC for awhile. I did a google image search just now and low and behold that pic shows up.

Yeah Fedron is kind of an old school cleaner, not too many techs using it anymore, especially this day in age when the sue happy public seams to be allergic to everything from peanuts to working for a living. Nothing like good ol Fedron or a similar product to clear out an office
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Old 09-24-2009   #13 (permalink)
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Not familiar with Fedron - guess they never sold that over here. Now I'm curious. What are the active ingredients to make that stuff so bad?
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Old 09-25-2009   #14 (permalink)
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Federon is a good solvent, but lacquer thinner will also work, and almost the same chemical makeup.
And speaking of dumb things said to customer, what do ya'll tell them when they say "It's about time you got here" or "What took you so long"
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Old 09-25-2009   #15 (permalink)
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Federon is a good solvent, but lacquer thinner will also work, and almost the same chemical makeup.
And speaking of dumb things said to customer, what do ya'll tell them when they say "It's about time you got here" or "What took you so long"

I would say something like "I just got this job this morning so I was trying to read up on how to fix copiers" or "Thank god you called, my boss was not going to bail me out of jail again, but he is short handed this week"
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Old 09-25-2009   #16 (permalink)
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I would say something like "I just got this job this morning so I was trying to read up on how to fix copiers" or "Thank god you called, my boss was not going to bail me out of jail again, but he is short handed this week"
I like them, lord only knows the hell it would cause if I used either of them.
I just love the way customers take and twist words, or the salesman tells them one thing, and we have to tell them the TRUTH about it.
Shakespear sorta had it right, kill all the lawyers then all the salespersons.
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Old 09-26-2009   #17 (permalink)
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I had another scenario years ago and it I thought for sure it was gonna cost me my job. We all have at least one customer that is NEVER happy about anything. I asked a lady....."who lit the fuse on your tampon?", because whatever your problem is, moving forward you will never take your issues out on me again.

To my astonishment not a word was ever said to me by my superiors. And the lady did treat me a lot better moving forward. I was told she had issues at home and would take out her problems on other people rather than dealing with the source.
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Old 09-26-2009   #18 (permalink)
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I asked a lady....."who lit the fuse on your tampon?"
ROFLMAOBCOMN (Rolling On Floor Laughing My Ass Off Blew Coffee Out My Nose)

I'm gonna steal that one... I'll try to have somebody post funeral arrangements in my absence.
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Old 09-28-2009   #19 (permalink)
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Not quite the dumbest ....... but ..........

With business as bad as it's ever been ......... I walked straight up to a office manager / owner and fired her and her company.........!!
.
She called 2 days later explaining that it had been her teenage daughter using her name , demanding service and not in the 2 to 4 hour time that I had always offered them ......... but now ........ immediately and if I didn't comply she would fire me and let everyone she knew that we were a bad service provider.
.
She would however, accept my apology , in front of the same ones that heard my tirade 2 days prior.
.
I explained that not only was her daughter the last straw ....... the chances of me ever apologizing either in person or on the phone were about the same as hell freezing over ...............
.
Finally her husband calls me and gets rude, I also exlained to him the proper proceedure to insert my foot in his backside....[ him a weasle and 5'7" and about 120lbs with mouth open - me 245lbs and 6'2" hmmmmmm ].... he was then a little more reasonable ......... and asked that I repair the HP 4000 .......... of course at no charge as they had already paid me once that year to fix it ! !
.
I then went on to explain that they indeed had not paid me for the repair 6 months prior, but that in fact the ro was still unpaid.......... turns out that the jerk had put me on speaker phone ......and was baiting me the whole time with some of the other business folks in the same building listening.
.
Oh well ....... he got his ..........by costing me other business and I got a great deal of satisfaction in actually firing the moron.
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Old 09-28-2009   #20 (permalink)
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I asked a lady....."who lit the fuse on your tampon?",

LMFAO!

WOOOOOOOOOOOW! That one might get stolen twice!
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