One Liners

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  • Tricky
    Field Supervisor

    Site Contributor
    2,500+ Posts
    • Apr 2009
    • 2620
    #46
    Re: One Liners

    Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

    They call it 'PMS' because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken.

      Comment

      • mjarbar
        #47
        Re: One Liners

        Crime in a multi-storey car park - that's wrong on so many different levels.

        If at first you don't succeed - don't try parachute jumping!

          Comment

          • fixthecopier
            ALIEN OVERLORD

            2,500+ Posts
            • Apr 2008
            • 4713
            #48
            Re: One Liners

            Life is like a roll of toilet paper... the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.
            The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking

              Comment

              • Akitu
                Legendary Frost Spec Tech

                Site Contributor
                2,500+ Posts
                • Oct 2010
                • 2595
                #49
                Re: One Liners

                You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
                Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?

                  Comment

                  • jpcopy
                    Trusted Tech

                    250+ Posts
                    • Apr 2006
                    • 256
                    #50
                    Re: One Liners

                    If a big breasted woman can works at hooters, would a one legged woman be able to work at Ihop?

                    If you had a brain it would rattle like a BB in a box car

                    yo cookin is so bad the dog had to lick his a$$ to get the tast out of his mouth

                      Comment

                      • Kidaver
                        Ghoulscout

                        500+ Posts
                        • Apr 2011
                        • 912
                        #51
                        Re: One Liners

                        If brains were gas you couldn't power a piss ants motorcycle around a BB.
                        "In a cruel and evil world, being cynical can allow you to get some entertainment out of it."

                          Comment

                          • mrwho
                            Major Asshole!

                            Site Contributor
                            2,500+ Posts
                            • Apr 2009
                            • 4299
                            #52
                            Re: One Liners

                            My wife keeps complaining that I don't listen to her or something like that...
                            ' "But the salesman said . . ." The salesman's an asshole!'
                            Mascan42

                            'You will always find some Eskimo ready to instruct the Congolese on how to cope with heat waves.'
                            Ibid

                            I'm just an ex-tech lurking around and spreading disinformation!

                              Comment

                              • igi
                                Service Manager

                                1,000+ Posts
                                • Apr 2009
                                • 1507
                                #53
                                Re: One Liners

                                Originally posted by mrwho
                                My wife keeps complaining that I don't listen to her or something like that...
                                hi all
                                yep we techies develop selective hearing to:
                                customers and wifes.
                                thats perfectly normal
                                cheers
                                ps love your avatars fixing strategy

                                  Comment

                                  • igi
                                    Service Manager

                                    1,000+ Posts
                                    • Apr 2009
                                    • 1507
                                    #54
                                    Re: One Liners

                                    hi all
                                    my faforite one liners

                                    1-how australians find sheep in a tall grass?
                                    very satisfying.


                                    2- australian defenition of safe sex?
                                    they mark the sheeps that bites

                                    cheers

                                      Comment

                                      • Tricky
                                        Field Supervisor

                                        Site Contributor
                                        2,500+ Posts
                                        • Apr 2009
                                        • 2620
                                        #55
                                        Re: One Liners

                                        Schizophrenia beats being alone

                                        Borrow money from pessimists- they don't expect it back

                                        Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms

                                          Comment

                                          • JimHegs
                                            This Space For Rent

                                            VIP Subscriber
                                            100+ Posts
                                            • Jan 2009
                                            • 108
                                            #56
                                            Re: One Liners

                                            A horse, a monkey, and a panda bear walk into a bar.
                                            The bar tender says, "Hey, is this some sorta joke?"
                                            https://cdn2.project-gc.com/StatBar/...cludeLabcaches

                                              Comment

                                              • jonezy999
                                                just one copy??

                                                Site Contributor
                                                500+ Posts
                                                • Feb 2010
                                                • 952
                                                #57
                                                Re: One Liners

                                                Price of lamb in New Zealand? About 45 buck an hour.
                                                I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. ~Thomas Edison

                                                  Comment

                                                  • Aneurysm
                                                    Administrator

                                                    1,000+ Posts
                                                    • Jan 2005
                                                    • 1079
                                                    #58
                                                    Re: One Liners

                                                    test post
                                                    "Remain calm. All is well." -Chip Diller, Nov 1963

                                                      Comment

                                                      • guitar9199
                                                        Service Manager

                                                        Site Contributor
                                                        1,000+ Posts
                                                        • Sep 2016
                                                        • 1100
                                                        #59
                                                        Re: One Liners

                                                        Went in to my doctor's office for a prostate exam. I asked the doctor where I should put my pants....

                                                        "Over there next to mine" was not the answer I was expecting.

                                                          Comment

                                                          • NeoMatrix
                                                            Senior Tech.

                                                            2,500+ Posts
                                                            • Nov 2010
                                                            • 3513
                                                            #60
                                                            Re: One Liners

                                                            Titanic...
                                                            Inauguration to the "AI cancel-culture" fraternity 1997...
                                                            •••••• •••[§]• |N | € | o | M | Δ | t | π | ¡ | x | •[§]••• ••••••

                                                              Comment

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