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If you'd like a serious answer to your request:
1) demonstrate that you've read the manual
2) demonstrate that you made some attempt to fix it.
3) if you're going to ask about jams include the jam code.
4) if you're going to ask about an error code include the error code.
5) You are the person onsite. Only you can make observations.
blackcat: Master Of The Obvious =^..^= -
Re: Joke of the Day
What do you have if you have 2 pinion nuts in one hand and 3 in the other?
A difference of a pinion.Why do they call it common sense?
If it were common, wouldn't everyone have it?Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
My spiritual guide informed me how to make my life fulfilled an happy.
He said "I must go back to spiritual basics and complete every task that I started in life."
If I had a job that was incomplete I must return to that job an complete it to the end.
I took his advice. While I was clearing all the little jobs up around the house
I saw a half a bottle of Jamaica Rum which I completed till empty.
I then saw a partical bottle of Scotch, a little bit of Voka,Snaps,Saki and a 3/4 bottle of Port wine.
I den whenz on fazz-book an Izz tolv alzl my frendvs how muchp happies Iz waz.
Andz da shooz do as my zpirit guy say and and ana..... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzInauguration to the "AI cancel-culture" fraternity 1997...
•••••• •••[§]• |N | € | o | M | Δ | t | π | ¡ | x | •[§]••• ••••••Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
Why did Jon Snow stand in line for 6 hours at the Apple store?
For the watch.Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
The Mama test, (as told to me by my sister)
I was out walking with My 4-year-old daughter. She picked up something off of the ground and started to put it into her mouth. I took the item away from her and asked her not to do that.
"Why?" my daughter asked.
"Because it's been on the ground; you don't know where it's been, it's dirty, and probably has germs," I replied. At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Mama, how do you know all this stuff? you are smart."
I was thinking quickly. "All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mama test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mama. We walked alnog in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she evidently pondering this new information.
"OH....I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be a Dad."
"Exactly," I replied with a big smile on my face.
My sister says when your finished laughing , send this to a Mama.Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
Add to groaners from previous page.
What do you have if you have two little green balls in your hand?
Kermit's undivided attention.I know I should be ashamed of myself. Strangely though, I am not.Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
A man is walking through the woods, when he come across a suitcase. Inside the suitcase he finds a fox and her cubs. He dials animal control to report his discovery. The woman on the other end exclaims, "That's horrible... are they moving? The man responds, "I don't know but that would explain the suitcase"The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen HawkingComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
One day I accidentally overturned my golf buggy.
Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out, Are you okay, what's your name?"
"Its Jack , and I'm Okay thanks," I replied.
"Jack , forget your troubles. Come to my villa, rest a while, and I'll help you get the cart up later."
"That's mighty nice of you," I answered, but I don't think my wife would like it."
"Oh, come on," Elizabeth insisted.
She was very pretty, very sexy and persuasive... I was weak.
"Well okay," I finally agreed, and added, "but my wife won't like it."
After a restorative brandy, and some creative putting lessons, I thanked my host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset."
"Don't be silly! Elizabeth said with a smile, She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"
"Under the cart!"The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen HawkingComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
An 85 year old man had been requested to give a sperm sample as part of his psychical exam...The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained. "Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing." The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?" The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen HawkingComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant.
Apparently it just changes the colour of the baby.Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
Break ups are the worst in China. You see her face everywhere.Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
Went out with some friends last night and tied one on. Knowing that I was wasted, I did something that I have never done before.
I took a bus home. I arrived home safe and warm, which seemed really surprising
as I have never driven a bus before.The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen HawkingComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
Why do they call it common sense?
If it were common, wouldn't everyone have it?Comment
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