Thread: Joke of the Day

  1. #4311
    Service Manager 2,500+ Posts izzynut's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Old folks home

    "The female sleeping quarters will be out-of-bounds for all males, and the male dormitory to the females. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."

    She continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?"

    At this point, an older lady named Alice stood up in the crowd and inquired: "How much for a season pass?”

  2. #4312
    Service Manager 2,500+ Posts izzynut's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day



























































    .







  3. #4313
    Service Manager 2,500+ Posts izzynut's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day








































    .








    And for this next, the last one (and surely one of my favourites) ~



    Think of Dean Martin, singing what almost certainly was his most popular song:




  4. #4314
    Senior member of CRS 2,500+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    IZZY, you made my day, and when I showed my wife these photos, she said I should 'thank you'.
    This place sounds like it would be a great place to visit.
    "You can't trust your eyes, if your mind is out of focus" --

  5. #4315
    Service Manager 2,500+ Posts izzynut's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day


  6. #4316
    Service Manager 2,500+ Posts izzynut's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day


  7. #4317
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    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by izzynut View Post
    Not the funniest joke you've ever told.
    At least 50% of IT is a solution looking for a problem.

  8. #4318
    Retired 10,000+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by Lagonda View Post
    Not the funniest joke you've ever told.
    He most likely got it from Facebook as I have seen it there for a couple of days.

  9. #4319
    Service Manager 5,000+ Posts tsbservice's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    A police officer jumps into his squad car and calls the station.

    “I have an interesting case here,” he says. “A woman shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped.”
    “Have you arrested her?” asks the sergeant.
    “No, not yet. The floor’s still wet.”
    A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.

    Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

    I don't reply to private messages from end users.

  10. #4320
    Service Manager 5,000+ Posts tsbservice's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    The Queen of England was visiting one of Canada's top hospitals, and during her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating.

    "Oh my God", said the Queen, "that's disgraceful, what is the meaning of this?"

    The doctor replied, "That man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn't do that 5 times a day, they'll explode, and he would die instantly."

    "Oh, I am sorry", said the Queen. On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a patient oral sex.

    "Oh my God", said the Queen, "What's happening in there?"

    The Doctor replied, "Same problem, better health plan."
    A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.

    Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

    I don't reply to private messages from end users.

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