We Have a Winner for the Dumbest User Post!!!

[KopyKat]

I just have to share this one with everyone. Was posted in the Ricoh Forum. Made me LMAO!!

http://www.copytechnet.com/forums/ricoh-savin-gestetner/22683-ricoh-mpc-2500-a.html :rolleyes: :p

Feel free to share your customer nightmares/whiners as well.

[mrwho]

It's not a post, but heck, it's similar to the dumba$$ from your post:

"Hey the copier was outputing dark copies. I opened up the machine and it was all dirty so I vacuumed everything and it's all now squicky-clean! But now the copies are coming out white! Can you fix it?"

Turns out this fella vacuumed all the developer from his Konica 1212.

[mascan42]

Reminds me of the customer who had a Xerox 5028 and threw out the entire developer unit because he thought it was the toner cartridge. Nice move, dummy. That part just cost you more than your entire year's service contract.

[kingarthur]

Probably not as good as the customer with a Bizhub C451, who complained of "feint copies after emptying all 4 waste toner bottles". they had only emptied out the image units, they never did it again after we charged them for 4 new units.

[TonerMunkeh]

I had a customer that took a complete fuser out of a 3025 because it was jamming. They'd left it near the door in their office for me to look at on arrival, after which the cleaner came in, picked it up and threw it in the bin. One £900 bill later....

[fixthecopier]

HP 4550... message said to change drum. By the time I got there they had changed all 4 toners, the fuser, and unboxed and tried 3 transfer belts. They never found where the drum was.

[blackcat4866]

Isn't that hilarious?! I can always tell when a drum order is coming. It starts with each if the four color toners and a transfer belt.

They probably could have bought quite a nice printer for the cost of all those supplies.

[KenB]

Years ago, when I first started, one of my first calls was on a Canon NP-L7. It was a liquid machine.

One user took cleaning the corona wires just a bit too seriously.

So seriously, in fact, that he took them to a utility sink and, you guessed it, cleaned them with running water! To make matters worse, he barely wiped them down, stuck them back in the machine, and fired that puppy up.

Needless to say, the fireworks immediately ensued.

The worst part...this genius was an electrical engineer!! :eek:

[10871087]

I just have to share this one with everyone. Was posted in the Ricoh Forum. Made me LMAO!!




Can you say, "job security".

[blackcat4866]

Does anybody remember the Mita DC131? It was fairly common for the cleaning corona blocks to short out, and the paper to wrap around the selenium tellurium drum.

So I head out to this church. The secretary complains that there are horizonal lines all over the copies. Well they had gotten a drum wrap. The pastor removed the primary corona unit to get better access, then straighened out a coat hanger, made a nice little hook on the end and fished out all that nasty paper. He was pretty pleased with himself until that first copy came out...

[mtech]

Sharp AR-m350. Customer threw away the DV unit then tried a new toner. They then found something was missing. I showed them the error of their ways and charged them for the dv unit. They did this three times in the course of a year and a half! They then complained that the machine was too costly to maintain and ended up buying a reconditioned Sharp AR-286. WTF! Talk about a downgrade!

[FRIDGEMAGNET]

I had a call long ago to a Minolta 310 that the customer had filled the old toner cartridge with silicon oil and dumped it into the toner hopper. The whole unit solidified into a huge resin mass.
Very expensive!

[Shadow1]

Somebody has a signature line I find very appropriate. I'm too lazy to find it right now so I'll paraphrase: You never realize how cheap it is to hire a professional until let an amature to do it.

[blsquires]

hows this ,a dintist bought a new machine and phoned after about a week complaining of black copies.
he was right they were .he was copying dental xrays .

[Copierman2u]

Here's one for you. Had a service call on a Minolta Di3510f where a customer was complaining that when she was sending a fax it wasn't going out. I'm thinking that she has a phone line issue or not dialing out correctly. When I got on sight she proceeded to tell and show me that when she sent a fax IT WASN'T LEAVING THE COPIER.:eek::eek: She was running the originals thru the DF and of cource they were coming back out after being scanned. She thought they should be going somewhere (I guess by carrier pigion) and couldnt understand why she was gitting the orginals back. I really had to bite my tounge to keep from laughing. I told her that maybe she should hire someone who was more techno savey to do her copieing and faxing and that maybe she should stay away from the copier. Funniest thing I ever saw!!!:D

[mrwho]

Computer Stupidities - Faxes (http://rinkworks.com/stupid/cs_faxes.shtml):



Overheard at the office:


First Person: "Do you know anything about this fax machine?"
Second Person: "A little. What's wrong?"
First Person: "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say all she received was a cover sheet and a blank page. I tried it again, and the same thing happened."
Second Person: "How did you load the sheet?"
First Person: "It's a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn't want anyone else to read it by accident, so I folded it in half."

[fixthecopier]

We had a girl working for us that I caught making a copy of something before she would fax it because she did not want to send the original.

[Brian8506]

It was way back in 1980 when some rocket scientist in NYC(I won't name the orgnization) figured out, or so he thought, that to make color copies,(color copiers weren't even around yet) all you had to was pour orange juice in the toner hopper. No kidding! It was like a black and orange chunk of lava by the time I got there.

[KenB]

It was way back in 1980 when some rocket scientist in NYC(I won't name the orgnization) figured out, or so he thought, that to make color copies,(color copiers weren't even around yet) all you had to was pour orange juice in the toner hopper. No kidding! It was like a black and orange chunk of lava by the time I got there.

Was it Halloween? :cool:

[SGT_Snacks-64]

it was way back in 1980 when some rocket scientist in nyc(i won't name the orgnization) figured out, or so he thought, that to make color copies,(color copiers weren't even around yet) all you had to was pour orange juice in the toner hopper. No kidding! It was like a black and orange chunk of lava by the time i got there.


roflflflflflflflflflflf!!!!!!
Epic colour fail!

[pheonix1061]

Well I just had to chime in. I've been doing this for twenty eight years and you see alot of great stuff over the years. I had a customer who had a paper jam. So he thought he'd remove the drum module and try to clear the jam. This is an older Xerox from the eighties. He proceeds to take off the front cover. If he'd stopped there hed'a been fine. But noooo. He then decides to remove the drum module. The drum module is held in place with one, count them, one ie. 1 thumb screw. He takes out eight or ten screws all around the outside of the drum module frame. Everything inside of the drum module just collapsed in on itself. When I got there, the frame had all collapsed, but the front frame member was still in place. Held in by "one" thumb screw.

[mikadonovan]

I had a guy at Grissom AFB remove ALL the bins from a Gradco 20 bin sorter and left them in a pile on the floor for me to take care of. I removed the misfeed from the FUSER and we billed them for the call. Next time I seen him, he informed me I got him in trouble. He still didn't think he did anything wrong. What a numbnut.

[zed255]

I once responded to a call for jamming in the fuser. Was I amused to discover the client thought the teflon coated heat roller looked dirty, so using sandpaper and a Scothbrite pad polished 'er up!

Another genius thought his machine could uses to be cleaned, so wheeled it out to the shop and blasted it out with HP compressed air to the point where the selenium on the drum sloughed off in a sheet (shredded to bits, of course).

We have all seen at least one emptied or vacuumed out dev unit.

I had one guy who found some old toner from an old inorganic drum machine pour it into the cartridge of a machine using an organic drum and after a short while the machine began to print in negative! Now that was kinda neat.

A common tactic I also see is customers who experience black lines and then decide to change the toner. Yeah, go lady, throw more black stuff at it! That oughtta fix it.

[blackcat4866]

Like Zed, I had a fraternity (of engineers!) crack open a Samsung laser printer cartridge and poured the dual component toner into a Canon NP-2120 monocomponent developing unit. The resulting copies were completely negative, and there was only one place that the toner didn't want to be- in the dev unit. All of this the day after I vacuumed HP toner out of the dev unit (it was a little better). =^..^=

[Comingapart]

I was barely out of training and went on a call for a Sharp AR-150 with constant Toner Empty indicator.
When I got there, the customer told me there is no way it was out of toner, as she had been putting toner in it for half an hour.

She had ripped open the front door (without opening the side door, broke the interlock) pulled the cartridge out a bit, wedged open the waste toner tank shutter and had been pouring and poking some ancient Konica(i think) toner out of a bottle, into the waste toner tank, using a pencil as a ramrod.

After I clean up the machine and explain to her the problem, she gets upset with me, because I (??) sold her a machine that takes "one of them whole toner thangs"

Thats probably my most memorable.

[texchar555]

Ok, I got one, I had a customer calling about her fax machine wasnt receiving faxes. I was 40 miles from her and she was a charge account. Well I really didnt feel like driving all that way for a charge call. So I called her and asked her what was going on? she replied by saying the fax machine just rings and rings but never picks up. I asked her to look at the machine and make sure the two lights are on the auto recieve and standard. She said yes, I asked her for the fax number so I called it and sure thing it rang and rang. Well I drove there and asked her ok lets see what you got. She looked at me like I was some kind of a pervert. I said the machine, oohhh ok (BLONDS) I went aroung the corner and looked at the fax machine and through my hands up with disgust. I asked her I thought you said the lights were on. She said well they are on and at the same time looking up at the lights on the ceiling.

[fixthecopier]

I just went to a call yesterday to someone who swore that the counter was off on the machine and she was being billed for copies she was not making. The customer insisted that in the past 2 weeks she had only done 20 copies but the machine said she had done over 500. She thought when you send something from the computer that it was "making a copy" of that picture. She was also pissed because all she sent to the machine was b/w but it was clicking color. I explained was a "default" was, but she insisted that the whole thing was my shops fault because she was not smart enough to find the printer in the computer let alone change something like the default. How do you argue with that kind of logic?

[KenB]

Ok, I got one, I had a customer calling about her fax machine wasnt receiving faxes. I was 40 miles from her and she was a charge account. Well I really didnt feel like driving all that way for a charge call. So I called her and asked her what was going on? she replied by saying the fax machine just rings and rings but never picks up. I asked her to look at the machine and make sure the two lights are on the auto recieve and standard. She said yes, I asked her for the fax number so I called it and sure thing it rang and rang. Well I drove there and asked her ok lets see what you got. She looked at me like I was some kind of a pervert. I said the machine, oohhh ok (BLONDS) I went aroung the corner and looked at the fax machine and through my hands up with disgust. I asked her I thought you said the lights were on. She said well they are on and at the same time looking up at the lights on the ceiling.

The lights were on. alright... but there twarn't nobody t'home...:cool:

[texchar555]

lol lol thats right

[Stirton.M]

speaking of faxes...

Some of KM's newer boxes allow for a second fax option. Basically an addon card or extended case. The idea to allow for the possibility of an incoming and outgoing fax to happen at the same time, or in some instances, simultaneous broadcast or receive. Thus far, I have had two different offices with these options, but neither could figure out what their problem was. I originally set them up and explained that they needed two separate phone lines(physically separate with unique phone numbers) to the machine for this to operate as desired.

One office, they put a splitter plug at the wall and both fax lines plugged into it. They could not understand why some faxes were not going out or why the machine was not answering the fax line when a transmission was being sent.

The other had no second line at all. Same issue as the previous...multiple outgoing faxes, the second fax always failed.

Another customer plugged the phone line into the "phone" port instead of the "line" port.

Yet another had changed their phone switchboard....both you had to dial 9 to get an outside line, but the new one they used had a delay while it connected to an outside line. They were pissed off because our copier could not send out faxes like this. It was OUR fault they couldn't send a fax out and when I had figured out what the problem was, they were outraged they had to add a "P" (pause) command in their one touches and direct dial faxes, calling our box an inferior device. I challenged them by pointing to an old OKI fax sitting on the side that had speed dial. Use that and see how far you get....same issue...needed a pause for that too.

I swear, technology is too much for some people....they expect too much but insist that it only require one button to make things happen.

[mrwho]

The expression "dumb it down" exists for a reason, you know :)

[texchar555]

I captain I I captain

[pheonix1061]

I had a lady call me once because her machine was "dead" and would do nothing. So...I went to her office, flipped the machine on and made a copy. When I explained to her the machine was working, she asked what I had done. I told her "nothing. I just turned it on and it worked". She said "turned it on? Where's the switch?" She's a really nice lady, just a little technologically challenged.

[Millennium]

I had a lady call me once because her machine was "dead" and would do nothing. So...I went to her office, flipped the machine on and made a copy. When I explained to her the machine was working, she asked what I had done. I told her "nothing. I just turned it on and it worked". She said "turned it on? Where's the switch?" She's a really nice lady, just a little technologically challenged.

Konica Minolta machines are famous for this due to the sub-power switch on the control panel, and the hard switch either on the back of the machine or behind the front cover. Can't tell you how many calls I have been to for "I did turn the power switch on" and I ask "Both of them?". Quick laugh, 5 minutes and on to the next call.

[Stirton.M]

Konica Minolta machines are famous for this due to the sub-power switch on the control panel, and the hard switch either on the back of the machine or behind the front cover. Can't tell you how many calls I have been to for "I did turn the power switch on" and I ask "Both of them?". Quick laugh, 5 minutes and on to the next call.


I've been tempted to stick a cover on that sub power switch...and place a label above the "power" label on the panel with the words "Worlds most useless".

[@tech]

I remembered one call from customer who throwed away complete process unit from Kyocera FS-1030D in garbage,when first toner runs out.
Just in hour,they recieved toner for FS-1030D. Tomorrow they make very angry call to us: It wont fit !It wont fit ! We hardly trying all afternoon... Please send tech and correct toner ! You dirty blabla...
After visiting customer,Tech brings info:before Kyocera,customer was using an cartridge printer for many years.

[CableGuy]

Reminds me of many years ago, when I had a call out to someone who had bought a Toshiba 5120 at an auction....mistake no.1....
They reported that it made a terrible noise when they fired it up. When I arrived at the site, they then informed me that they had attempted to rectify this themselves, before calling us.....mistake no.2.....
I reluctantly asked what exactely they had done to try and rectify the noise. The chap tells me that he had opened up the clamshell machine and saw this large cylinder and thought it looked a bit dry.....You guessed, mistake no.3... the oil he applied didn't help.
There was a thick coating of dried oil and toner on the drum. Luckily for them I managed to carefully remove the coating of crud and give the drum a polish, (yep, you could do it in those days kids) and shoved it back together.
I then proceeded to look for the source of the noise that turned out to be two plates under the optics home position, covering the fan, that had been unscrewed and were standing upright? Bolted those suckers back into place, fired her up and after a few adjustments to the copy quality, she was working as good as new......
Don't think any of todays machines would survive something like that......

[Tom]

One of my best was the lady who spilled the entire bottle of toner on the floor when trying to add it to an old analog copier. In a hurry to clean it up before the boss got back, she vacuumed it up with a standard home vac. Needless to say, the entire office was coated in toner when I got there & the vac had to be thrown away. The funny thing was, she wanted me to clean the office because they were under contract.

[Stirton.M]

My immediate answer is, sorry, we do not clean up the mess of complete morons, which in this case would constitute a charge regardless of her opinion about the service contract.

[mrwho]

My immediate answer is, sorry, we do not clean up the mess of complete morons, which in this case would constitute a charge regardless of her opinion about the service contract.

Since the entire office was filled with toner, it would be just a matter of subcontracting a cleaning company and then adding 50% to the cleaning fees for the inconvenience.

[aztech]

Then there was the call for spots on the copies at a Marine base, arrived to find the Fuser unit pulled out, (in the service position) with Burritos laying on the fuser roller being warmed up.

[Stirton.M]

Then there was the call for spots on the copies at a Marine base, arrived to find the Fuser unit pulled out, (in the service position) with Burritos laying on the fuser roller being warmed up.

I would have taken the burritos and said thanks for the lunch invite.

[Stirton.M]

I just have to share this one with everyone. Was posted in the Ricoh Forum. Made me LMAO!!

http://www.copytechnet.com/forums/ricoh-savin-gestetner/22683-ricoh-mpc-2500-a.html :rolleyes: :p

Feel free to share your customer nightmares/whiners as well.

I have a runner up to this....

http://www.copytechnet.com/forums/konica-minolta/38138-faceup-facedown.html#post157404

GAD!!!! with pictures and everything....and finally, in the end, he gets it. Of course, he completely missed the advice not to use the setting because of what it does mechanically.

[KenB]

A few years ago I installed a Canon imageRUNNER with Universal Send at a CPA firm, and all went well.

A few days later we did a courtesy call to make sure life was still good, and one of the users said, "It scans great, except that when I scan Excel files, it doesn't copy my formulas."


Wait...What???

[Millennium]

I have a runner up to this....

http://www.copytechnet.com/forums/konica-minolta/38138-faceup-facedown.html#post157404

GAD!!!! with pictures and everything....and finally, in the end, he gets it. Of course, he completely missed the advice not to use the setting because of what it does mechanically.

When you posted that, and the thread still went on for days, I literally put my face into my hands and wept a little.

First: How does a proper salesperson not train something like that when you KNOW they are going to be using a tray specifically for letterhead/some other type of special paper

Second: You put it about as plain and bluntly as you could. If someone just reads step for step, they would have taken a problem that has been going a week and turned into a couple of hours.

What is this world coming to.

[mrwho]

First: How does a proper salesperson not train something like that when you KNOW they are going to be using a tray specifically for letterhead/some other type of special paper

Unfortunately most of the times the customer doesn't know what he wants to do with the machine until it is up and running and the sales and technical staff went away.

[pacman]

Konica Minolta machines are famous for this due to the sub-power switch on the control panel, and the hard switch either on the back of the machine or behind the front cover. Can't tell you how many calls I have been to for "I did turn the power switch on" and I ask "Both of them?". Quick laugh, 5 minutes and on to the next call.

Same with Panasonics. They have the front switch and the back switch right by the power cord. Lots of crisis averted with saying "both of them?"

[Stirton.M]

When you posted that, and the thread still went on for days, I literally put my face into my hands and wept a little.

First: How does a proper salesperson not train something like that when you KNOW they are going to be using a tray specifically for letterhead/some other type of special paper

Second: You put it about as plain and bluntly as you could. If someone just reads step for step, they would have taken a problem that has been going a week and turned into a couple of hours.

What is this world coming to.

I could not but help think that they were an academic...or a lawyer...or doctor...it's the only explanation I can come up with.

[Stirton.M]

Unfortunately most of the times the customer doesn't know what he wants to do with the machine until it is up and running and the sales and technical staff went away.

This is likely....

Usually whenever I have the chance to do a setup, I usually interact with the key-op (hopefully) on things like this. And of course, we often have several tech meetings where we can share and pass on things with each other we find with end users who are having trouble. In general, it helps us remain on the same page regarding common pitfalls, and problems like this are resolved quickly. Can't say this is practical for all techs out there, some places only have one or two techs.

[Stirton.M]

Same with Panasonics. They have the front switch and the back switch right by the power cord. Lots of crisis averted with saying "both of them?"

I think I will pass that on to our dispatch.