I am grace and poetry in motion...So dumb I have to share

[fixthecopier]

So about a month ago, I was at the shop doing this and that. My truck backed into my spot 4 feet from the door to the tech section. I had opened the tailgate to get something out earlier. I get a service call and am on the phone as i walk out the door to the truck. Deep in conversation with a tech support, I walk past the truck, push the tailgate up and shut the top, get in and pull up to the street. Street is uphill a little, I pull up, wait my turn, then go. I pull out on the 5 lane road, make it about 15 feet, hear a "BAM", look in my side mirror and see an HP M602 laying in the road, the paper tray spitting several hundred sheet all over the place. Tail gate didn't latch when I pushed it up. This has happened right in front of the giant windows that front our shop. I quickly pull into the business next door, run to the printer {that alone should have been funny as hell}, grab the printer and get it to the sidewalk and run back into the road, start throwing the other parts to the sidewalk, while a nice person stopped blocking the traffic and was very cool about it. I run to the shop door get a cart and go to the sidewalk and collect my printer parts. It was close to 95f that day, so i am winded and sweating bullets. Now back in the shop, paper blowing all over the parking lot, I walk up front to see how much the two girls who sit at the front desk, the owner and the GM enjoyed the show.
Well they didn't. Nobody saw a thing. For 10 to 15 minutes I preformed a beautiful ballet of graceful movements and the only witness was the person who stopped behind me and blocked traffic. I regret not having film of it.

I also had another moment of grace this past weekend. I found out the hard way that my body violently rejects penicillin based drugs. At one point, between prayers for death, I am at the back door to the deck. I start to open the door, instantly feel I am going to hurl, decide the edge of the deck is closer than the bathroom, take 2 steps out, turn back to pull the door closed so the kittens don't get out, step out of one of the leather sandals I am wearing while grabbing the door knob. As I yank the door closed and turn to run for the deck rail, I start to hurl and manage to throw up all over the sandal I was just wearing. And I had no outside camera to catch it all.

[BLADE]

post the link when it comes on youtube, cool!