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  1. #711
    Senior Tech 100+ Posts BaconSteve's Avatar
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    Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    And... when anyone ever uses the ‘get you a desk’ comment, I always say “yes, that would be great, preferably a corner office”. Or the “we should put you on the payroll”, to which I also answer “yes absolutely, I could use a second income, where do I sign up?” If you can manage to respond in a fun way, and nix the sarcasm as much as possible, it can actually make for a laugh, which as we all know, can go a long way.

  2. #712
    Service Manager 5,000+ Posts
    What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

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    Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    Quote Originally Posted by BaconSteve View Post
    And... when anyone ever uses the ‘get you a desk’ comment, I always say “yes, that would be great, preferably a corner office”. Or the “we should put you on the payroll”, to which I also answer “yes absolutely, I could use a second income, where do I sign up?” If you can manage to respond in a fun way, and nix the sarcasm as much as possible, it can actually make for a laugh, which as we all know, can go a long way.
    Laughter is the BEST medicine.. true then.. even truer today with all the PC bullshit.
    Some People say I am too blunt. Shit at least you know where you stand with me.. and once the bond has been made.. takes alot for me to break the bond.

    Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk

  3. #713
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    Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    5 years ago our company bought out the copier division of a competitor that really didn't know how to run a copier business. Some of the contracts had no minimums and people were doing 20 copies a month for 5 cents each, this was actually toner included even. Our company promptly sent out notices on these that we would no longer honor these and in complying with the previous contract, here is your 30 day notice, unless you want to update to our contract with a base and overage.

    This prompted outrage from a customer who was probably in his later 80's. He was secretary to the local vets club and ran about 100 pages/month for their meeting agendas and reports. He wanted a cleaning and service before his 30 days were up. So I went over to the basement of his house to service the copier. I heard the word "greedy" from him at least a hundred times and he threw the letter in my face saying us charging $125/hr labor or $600/year contract going forward was downright thievery. He said currently he is paying $60/year on average.

    I got tired of all of the bs and pulled up the price of a drum on his machine. It was $300 online, (we charged about the same). So I said if we replace a drum, at $60/year, how long would it take us to break even. He correctly answered 5 years. Then I mentioned, an average drum even not being used will lose some imaging ability after 2-3 years so we might have to replace it sooner than 5 years, then we wouldn't break even for a longer period yet.

    His reply was well that is good for him then, but I shouldn't have to pay any more than the copies I make. No reasoning with him. He told me we were going to go out of business at that rate. I told him going out of business is better than going bankrupt, have a nice day sir.

    At one point during the service call I nearly reached for my ball-peen.
    Sex with my wife is like driving a Ferarri at 190 m.p.h.






    Yeah, I don't get to do that either

  4. #714
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    Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    Quote Originally Posted by tonerhead View Post
    5 years ago our company bought out the copier division of a competitor that really didn't know how to run a copier business. Some of the contracts had no minimums and people were doing 20 copies a month for 5 cents each, this was actually toner included even. Our company promptly sent out notices on these that we would no longer honor these and in complying with the previous contract, here is your 30 day notice, unless you want to update to our contract with a base and overage.

    This prompted outrage from a customer who was probably in his later 80's. He was secretary to the local vets club and ran about 100 pages/month for their meeting agendas and reports. He wanted a cleaning and service before his 30 days were up. So I went over to the basement of his house to service the copier. I heard the word "greedy" from him at least a hundred times and he threw the letter in my face saying us charging $125/hr labor or $600/year contract going forward was downright thievery. He said currently he is paying $60/year on average.

    I got tired of all of the bs and pulled up the price of a drum on his machine. It was $300 online, (we charged about the same). So I said if we replace a drum, at $60/year, how long would it take us to break even. He correctly answered 5 years. Then I mentioned, an average drum even not being used will lose some imaging ability after 2-3 years so we might have to replace it sooner than 5 years, then we wouldn't break even for a longer period yet.

    His reply was well that is good for him then, but I shouldn't have to pay any more than the copies I make. No reasoning with him. He told me we were going to go out of business at that rate. I told him going out of business is better than going bankrupt, have a nice day sir.

    At one point during the service call I nearly reached for my ball-peen.
    It was even more fun when we had to tell people with thirty year old typewriters parts are no longer available so I can not repair these anymore. And there were the inevitable "But it has been such a good machine and all the new ones cost so much" Why can't you keep fixing it for the 50 dollars a year you have always charged. yeah service contracts on typewriters were real cheap when IBM type-bar typewriters were still being used. But they actually quit making them in the mid seventies and we actually had some customers still using them until the late 1990's early 2001. And they all wondered how we were going to stay in business if we didn't take care of our long time customers anymore

  5. #715
    Service Manager 5,000+ Posts
    What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

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    Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    Quote Originally Posted by tonerhead View Post
    At one point during the service call I nearly reached for my ball-peen.
    exactly WHY I don't carry my hammer nor my S&W 40 when going in SOME buildings!

  6. #716
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    Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    Quote Originally Posted by gneebore View Post
    It was even more fun when we had to tell people with thirty year old typewriters parts are no longer available so I can not repair these anymore. And there were the inevitable "But it has been such a good machine and all the new ones cost so much" Why can't you keep fixing it for the 50 dollars a year you have always charged. yeah service contracts on typewriters were real cheap when IBM type-bar typewriters were still being used. But they actually quit making them in the mid seventies and we actually had some customers still using them until the late 1990's early 2001. And they all wondered how we were going to stay in business if we didn't take care of our long time customers anymore
    I collected old typewriters when I was a kid. I found them to be very satisfying with their clicking. If you needed to do a form or a few envelopes nothing beat them. Then when I was in high school, I felt slightly different when I had a teacher who would use an old mechanical typewriter to type worksheets/tests when giving us exams. It was annoying. hahah.

    edit: another thought. The latest I remember using one was 2005-2007 when I worked for the state government. There were just a few things we'd have to do on the typewriters but almost everything especially current work product was all electronic. It was a tax office so sometimes taxpayers would be delinquent and have to file from like 20-30 years ago when everything was manual - and sometimes we'd have to look up on the microfilm machines which were about to die but surprisingly printed still. Even further back we still had a microfische department. I have to wonder if that stuff is still there.

  7. #717
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    Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    Quote Originally Posted by kingpd@businessprints.net View Post
    I collected old typewriters when I was a kid. I found them to be very satisfying with their clicking. If you needed to do a form or a few envelopes nothing beat them. Then when I was in high school, I felt slightly different when I had a teacher who would use an old mechanical typewriter to type worksheets/tests when giving us exams. It was annoying. hahah.

    edit: another thought. The latest I remember using one was 2005-2007 when I worked for the state government. There were just a few things we'd have to do on the typewriters but almost everything especially current work product was all electronic. It was a tax office so sometimes taxpayers would be delinquent and have to file from like 20-30 years ago when everything was manual - and sometimes we'd have to look up on the microfilm machines which were about to die but surprisingly printed still. Even further back we still had a microfische department. I have to wonder if that stuff is still there.
    I have one real old typewriter. A customer had two of them she was going to throw away. I took the one that actually worked. It is from 1895. A relative heard about it and went all ballistic over how much money it is worth since it is over 120 years old. Too bad I had to bust his bubble since they made millions of them and the only ones worth anything are the historic machines. More than likely if I wanted to actually sell it I might get five dollars for it since it does still work. Like one customer has that was owned by his great uncle and used during WWII. His great uncle was Dwight Eisenhower and the typewriter was used to type his note and order changes for the D-Day invasion.

    And like you experienced we had customers that had to use typewriters for special customs forms. I live in an city with large overseas shipping firms/ And the customs forms a few years back for some areas in the far east and southern Africa used forms with 12 copy carbon paper forms. Since some of the vessels were going to ports where there were not any computer networks or even computers in the customs inspection offices. So they had to have all those required sheets to pass on to people in the port that received the containers and even what is called "break bulk shipping" Last I remember there was still one company that had to keep their typewriters running as late as 2017 because they had one vessel that called on a small port somewhere on the coast of Nigeria.
    Oh yes I also have one IBM Correcting Selectric with the original installation sticker on the bottom from 1976. It does still work since I did repair them since that was a brand new machine. Just can not get the IBM number 23 grease anymore if it needs to be lubed after my grease gun runs out of grease.

  8. #718
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    Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    Yesterday I had a good laugh. I went to Office Depot to get a replacement hard drive. While I was waiting for the clerk to get it for me from the back, I glanced by the adding machine tape. Low and behold, here are about 3 envelopes of carbon paper of 25 sheets I think. I kidded the clerk, "that must be a hot seller" She said they sell more of it than one might think.

    Guess typewriters, carbon paper, and fax machines will never die (sigh)
    Sex with my wife is like driving a Ferarri at 190 m.p.h.






    Yeah, I don't get to do that either

  9. #719
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    Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    Quote Originally Posted by tonerhead View Post
    Yesterday I had a good laugh. I went to Office Depot to get a replacement hard drive. While I was waiting for the clerk to get it for me from the back, I glanced by the adding machine tape. Low and behold, here are about 3 envelopes of carbon paper of 25 sheets I think. I kidded the clerk, "that must be a hot seller" She said they sell more of it than one might think.

    Guess typewriters, carbon paper, and fax machines will never die (sigh)
    Actually the carbon paper comes in real handy even without the use of typewriters. I remember a few customers that bought the packages of carbon paper and when they had a printed permission form they always printed it at least twice or more times, then when the signatures were required they put the carbon paper in between the sheets and had all people sign the form and then they took the copy or copies with the carbon copy signatures as proof that the people actually signed the forms. Seems that someone actually proved a while back that a copied form could be faked but a carbon copy signature could not. Even if it was traced from an original.

  10. #720
    Master Of The Obvious 10,000+ Posts
    What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    blackcat4866's Avatar
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    Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

    Quote Originally Posted by gneebore View Post
    ... Oh yes I also have one IBM Correcting Selectric with the original installation sticker on the bottom from 1976. It does still work since I did repair them since that was a brand new machine. Just can not get the IBM number 23 grease anymore if it needs to be lubed after my grease gun runs out of grease.
    For future reference, an excellent substitute for IBM23 is Mobilgrease28. It's a clay based aircraft grade lubricant which has gone out of general use, so its quite inexpensive. I picked this up off a typewriter forum, when searching for a source of IBM23. You can still find 0.25oz tubes IBM23 from Lexmark, but they are ridiculously priced. =^..^=
    If you'd like a serious answer to your request:
    1) demonstrate that you've read the manual
    2) demonstrate that you made some attempt to fix it.
    3) if you're going to ask about jams include the jam code.
    4) if you're going to ask about an error code include the error code.
    5) You are the person onsite. Only you can make observations.

    blackcat: Master Of The Obvious =^..^=

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