What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

[Bix]

Very angry customer that today the printer does not print.


Network cable disconnected.

[Drprinter]

Customer called to complain what her computer was not working... (YES NYC Customers) after spending a good 15 min trying switches and checking plugs I was setting up to go to the customers location. As I was saying goodbye I notice a tone in the background (weak but solid). I thankfully asked what that sound was... was told that it was her battery backup. Huh? "Linda, How long has the battery backup been going off?" her responce "since about 9:00 this morning, they had to turn off the electric to fix the wireing" (STOP - IT'S TRUE! I have over 40 years computer/printer experance and over 20 of it in NYC). "Linda, the electric is off, the computer will not work". "But I have a battery backup - my computer should work" Just to let you know the backup was a APC-450 running a computer and crt monitor (15 min tops?). Was told I was a liar and wanted to talk to my manager.
To her credit (and I was shocked at the end) she asked to talk to me after talking to my manager. Linda _ apologize to me. I said no problem and told me to call me when the electric came back on. Manager gived me a weird look and I just smile and went back to work.
{let me know if you want more..after 40+ years... I have a lot of stories}

[Grey]

Big Denver Hospital Panic.

Our new Konica Minolta shows a Fax paper Jam when we sent it to Dr Snow!!!

How are we going to find it?

There are so many telephone lines and poles outside of the Hospital that the paper
could have jammed inside of!!!

We are HIPPA compliant and can't afford a screw-up!!!

This is True Life in Colorado.

Grey

[ignacio.cortez]

Are you sure someone dicked up a color machine? Sounds like a really bad assed suped up black and white machine. 4 black toners must mean it can print 4 times better. I used to have a car with 2 carburetors and duel exhaust.

"DUEL" Exhaust? Which one Won? Which one Died?

[ignacio.cortez]

Yeap ran into those types a few times. Even had one of the IT gurus insist hat DHCP needed to be left turned on because the smart software would find the new address of the copier each time just like the computers would when they were shut off and on. I did what he wanted and then had him and the office manager sign that "according to instructions DHCP was left engaged on the copier" I then explained we were not responsible for software but would be quite happy to set the address permanently to whatever but that there has to be a set address and not a variable one since the machine was designed to use only one ip address when accepting print jobs

Having done Both, IT and Printer/Copier Support...…. Technically, you can do DHCP, however, They'd have to set the MAC address on the DHCP Server and add the IP address to the Exceptions to make sure no other device takes that IP address. Interestingly enough, I've been told that's now considered best practices, though I started back in the day, when you assigned IP Addresses to Printers and Servers and leave the DHCP Pool for regular client PCs (Though some of the companies also assigned IP addresses to client PCs) was the norm (Best Practices)

[ignacio.cortez]

It was even more fun when we had to tell people with thirty year old typewriters parts are no longer available so I can not repair these anymore. And there were the inevitable "But it has been such a good machine and all the new ones cost so much" Why can't you keep fixing it for the 50 dollars a year you have always charged. yeah service contracts on typewriters were real cheap when IBM type-bar typewriters were still being used. But they actually quit making them in the mid seventies and we actually had some customers still using them until the late 1990's early 2001. And they all wondered how we were going to stay in business if we didn't take care of our long time customers anymore

I worked for a Minolta/Ricoh Dealer (Who was also IT Consultant and ISP) back in IL that up until the Mid 2000s when I worked last for them, they still had a Full Time Typewritter tech

[ignacio.cortez]

Customer called to complain what her computer was not working... (YES NYC Customers) after spending a good 15 min trying switches and checking plugs I was setting up to go to the customers location. As I was saying goodbye I notice a tone in the background (weak but solid). I thankfully asked what that sound was... was told that it was her battery backup. Huh? "Linda, How long has the battery backup been going off?" her responce "since about 9:00 this morning, they had to turn off the electric to fix the wireing" (STOP - IT'S TRUE! I have over 40 years computer/printer experance and over 20 of it in NYC). "Linda, the electric is off, the computer will not work". "But I have a battery backup - my computer should work" Just to let you know the backup was a APC-450 running a computer and crt monitor (15 min tops?). Was told I was a liar and wanted to talk to my manager.
To her credit (and I was shocked at the end) she asked to talk to me after talking to my manager. Linda _ apologize to me. I said no problem and told me to call me when the electric came back on. Manager gived me a weird look and I just smile and went back to work.
{let me know if you want more..after 40+ years... I have a lot of stories}

Just started a new job a couple of months ago, about a week or 2 ago, I got an email from one of the branches (I don't do hands on, on this particular job, but I have quite a few years experience, I actually manage the company's fleet) The tech on the branch told me that they were on a conference call with the Network team, the Electricians and Other Technical people for the best part of the week attempting to figure out why, when the printer started printing, it will kill the whole Stack (of switches), it was a Friday afternoon, I was about to go home, but she stated she was going to come in on Sunday and try to troubleshoot/Monitor to see if she could find a pattern (She told me the Copier/MFP was in the Switch Closet), told her, make sure you do not have the printer/mfp connected to the UPS (and explained to her why its not recommended to have the MFP/Printer connected to a UPS), Monday morning, she sends me a ecstatic message stating that I was a genius, because all her "experts" were not able to figure that out and in 30 seconds to a minute I had fixed her problem.

[ignacio.cortez]

Good Size Physical therapy Chain of Hospitals,

I was called in to a NEW site, End users complain that the Brand New printer is leaving White bands Leading edge to trailing edge, Device, got to site, shook the toner cartridge multiple times, printed about 150 pages, no white bands, closed call. Next day, end user calls again, getting dinged for callback, make it out to customer site and end user again is complaining of the same thing, inquired end user if they have a backup cartridge, they do, open brand new cartridge, still sealed, installed it and ran 200 pages, no white banding, towards the end of the day, I get the message that the issue is happening again. I ordered a replacement toner cartridge next day rush. Make it to customer site as soon as they open, walk in and begin troubleshooting, again, (still with the cartridge installed the day before, after 50+ pages, I start noticing that the white banding is moving, some times it shows on one spot next few pages its in a different spot, and so forth, I take the cartridge, flip it looking for a stuck piece of paper, no paper visible, optics are cleaned, issue remains, I execute a Cleaning cycle, then pulled toner cartridge out, flip it and open the drum flap, Lo-and-behold, half of a cockroach is sticking out between the drum and the plastic guide, juicy too, I show the end user (The branch's CEO) that there is nothing wrong with the printer, they just happen to have a cockroach infestation. Changed the call to T&M and charged them $300 for my time.

[tonerhead]

Having done Both, IT and Printer/Copier Support...…. Technically, you can do DHCP, however, They'd have to set the MAC address on the DHCP Server and add the IP address to the Exceptions to make sure no other device takes that IP address. Interestingly enough, I've been told that's now considered best practices, though I started back in the day, when you assigned IP Addresses to Printers and Servers and leave the DHCP Pool for regular client PCs (Though some of the companies also assigned IP addresses to client PCs) was the norm (Best Practices)

A mac reservation is the best practice right now for sure. However the time savings from IT is minimal. I still consider best practice and most secure is to use static ips for all fixed equipment (copiers and desktops) and only allow dhcp for visiting laptops. In-company laptops connect using mac reservations for dhcp. One company I know of is printing through hostname. They just let copier dhcp. Of course all workers bitch that printing is slow. But what do you expect?

AND REMEMBER .......WSD is our friend, we charge $20 each to fix WSD ports through our helpdesk. Thank you Microsoft.

[gneebore]

Good Size Physical therapy Chain of Hospitals,

I was called in to a NEW site, End users complain that the Brand New printer is leaving White bands Leading edge to trailing edge, Device, got to site, shook the toner cartridge multiple times, printed about 150 pages, no white bands, closed call. Next day, end user calls again, getting dinged for callback, make it out to customer site and end user again is complaining of the same thing, inquired end user if they have a backup cartridge, they do, open brand new cartridge, still sealed, installed it and ran 200 pages, no white banding, towards the end of the day, I get the message that the issue is happening again. I ordered a replacement toner cartridge next day rush. Make it to customer site as soon as they open, walk in and begin troubleshooting, again, (still with the cartridge installed the day before, after 50+ pages, I start noticing that the white banding is moving, some times it shows on one spot next few pages its in a different spot, and so forth, I take the cartridge, flip it looking for a stuck piece of paper, no paper visible, optics are cleaned, issue remains, I execute a Cleaning cycle, then pulled toner cartridge out, flip it and open the drum flap, Lo-and-behold, half of a cockroach is sticking out between the drum and the plastic guide, juicy too, I show the end user (The branch's CEO) that there is nothing wrong with the printer, they just happen to have a cockroach infestation. Changed the call to T&M and charged them $300 for my time.

Had a real similar problem a long time ago with a Canon pc6RE. Customer called and complained there were random dark streaks on the copies. I went three times and everything worked fine. Even though she saved the samples could not find anything wrong in the machine. Then one day I was fortunately two blocks away when the office got me on my cell phone and asked me to stop by there right away as fast as I could. I did and immediately made a copy and there was the black band. Funny though it was two inches closer to the edge of the page than the sample she showed me. I opened the copier took the drum unit out to see if there were any bits of debris in the main charge area . But as I was pulling the drum until out I noticed a bit of movement in the transfer corona assembly. Yeap there was a roach in the bottom of the assembly and there were a few more that escaped when I lifted the machine off of the table top. I used my hemostats to remove the stil living roach and put everything back together. the customer immediately called the building managed and demanded they send out the pest control people again.