The Texas Department of Labor claimed a farmer was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him. "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent.


"Well," replied the farmer, "there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board.


The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $150 per week plus free room and board.


Then there's the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally."


"That's the guy I want to talk to...the half-wit," says the agent.


"That would be me," replied the farmer.