Smart ass responses you've gave to customers

[gwaddle]

this isn't actually a smart arse reply, but how i dealt with a difficult customer. She was complaining that the copies were too light, so after adjusting the exposure a couple of times, after which she insisted on checking the copy everytime, i decided to do nothing & just kept taking a copy, leaving it at the same exposure, until she decided that the machine was set up at the correct exposure for her. I use that "trick" quite often now, saves a lot of messing about.

I did about the same thing when I was working for a heating contractor. Had a customer in an apartment who complained her furnace was not putting out enough heat. I went to check it and found that the furnace was doing all it was going to do, some apartment furnaces aren't the best, so I opened the thermostat and bent the needle 2 degrees warmer. Never heard back from her.

[DavePo]

[QUOTE=gwaddle;113302 so I opened the thermostat and bent the needle 2 degrees warmer. Never heard back from her.[/QUOTE]

Now if you can figure out how to do that with digital thermostats it would be great

[gwaddle]

Fortunately, that was back in the olden days.

[8050]

I did about the same thing when I was working for a heating contractor. Had a customer in an apartment who complained her furnace was not putting out enough heat. I went to check it and found that the furnace was doing all it was going to do, some apartment furnaces aren't the best, so I opened the thermostat and bent the needle 2 degrees warmer. Never heard back from her.

Now that is what I call a "Field modification"! LOL! + rep for that one!!

[Shadow1]

I was at one of the few great customers with a sense of humor that you can really have fun with a few days ago...

They asked one of those "are you fixing the copier" type questions and I gave her one of my "No, I'm tuning up your nuclear reactor, have you noticed anybody glowing in the dark" responses.

She called me a smartass

I said "Now that's a sign of quality intelligence, when people acknowledge that even my ass is smarter than theirs!"

I thought people were literally going to fall on the floor laughing.

[fixthecopier]

I was at one of the few great customers with a sense of humor that you can really have fun with a few days ago...

They asked one of those "are you fixing the copier" type questions and I gave her one of my "No, I'm tuning up your nuclear reactor, have you noticed anybody glowing in the dark" responses.

She called me a smartas

I said "Now that's a sign of quality intelligence, when people acknowledge that even my ass is smarter than theirs!"

I thought people were literally going to fall on the floor laughing.

Mom used to tell me that is why they do not let donkeys go to school, because nobody likes a smart ass!

[Mr Spock]

I was working on a machine (in a correctional facility) when one of the guards stated loudly " Hey everyone the copy gut is here!"
To which I responded " where I would like to meet him!"
The girl behind the desk fell out of her chair and everyone else started laughing. The guard look dumbfounded and could not say a word..

[vincent64]

I was working on a machine (in a correctional facility) when one of the guards stated loudly " Hey everyone the copy gut is here!"
To which I responded " where I would like to meet him!"
The girl behind the desk fell out of her chair and everyone else started laughing. The guard look dumbfounded and could not say a word..

My favorite is when some one says "the gentlman is here to fix the copier" I look arround a say "gentleman, who came in" one of the best lines the 3 stooges ever had.

[nmfaxman]

When a customer says to me "You're back". I love to respond with "And my front too".

[KenB]

When a customer says to me "You're back". I love to respond with "And my front too".

My favorite, when you walk into an account for the first time and the customer says "You're new!" is to say: "I'm over [fill in the blank] years old!".