I think the best response was, and feel free to use it, when I was sitting on a floor in a hallway with a Bizhub 350 in pieces around me and the Company Commander, unaware that his guys broke the machine with a coat hanger, started giving me shit about how inconvenienced his unit was without the copier. I listened and when he was through, I told him how 3 of his idiots got a coat hanger stuck in a gear pack and damaged a gear. He didn't know what to say, so I responded. "Major, I am not even mad, and do you know why? I am a member of an online tech forum made up of copy techs from around the world. In addition to helping each other solve problems we talk about stupid things customers do. I am sure that having worked out here all these years my tales have almost made me a legend on that site. Guess who I will be talking about tonight?" He walked away unable to respond.
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