Penny Pinchers, Password Changers, Geniusi, & Helicopters

[Ianizer]

The Penny Pincher
This guy or gal calls you out, with the full understanding of your rates, but doesn't want anything done. They're in a pinch and pinching those pennies! Amongst a desk full of unpaid bills and a bench full of unfinished jobs, they want to know everything you're doing and what it will cost. "That's more than my lawyer charges!" They have my sympathy, but don't seem to understand that any quick-fixes will only bite them in the end...

Pay me now or pay me later, as the saying goes.

The Password Changer
"Oh look! A password! Let's change it!" This IT guy has the program covered. No one gets in or out but through him. He knows what time it is and where his corporate value lies. Service calls are generally routed through him. He doesn't know what the problem is, but can lead you to the end user, who is not allowed to call directly. Don't forget to check with him before you leave, or your service manager will get a call. It's his machine.

If you're really lucky, he'll help you out with a program he found on Google that searches the internet for equipment software and alerts him to devices in desperate need of an upgrade... This will include SPARs and Special firmware that the gear doesn't need, but that may have been released after general SW release dates. Have no fear, he will insist you "upgrade" his copier anyway.

Invariably, he will be either on vacation or sick (attending a Star Trek convention) when you need Administrator access to his equipment.

The Genius
This is an extremely helpful end-user. You're lucky he's here to help. He used to work on typewriters for IBM during the Carter Administration, you know. Looks like the roller is dirty... Could be a sensor problem... Probably the drum, though. And could you take a look at the harddrive? He would have upgraded it himself, but he had a report to finish...

What seems to be the problem?
Well, he thinks the document feeder (bypass) needs replacing...

What's going on?
Well, maybe you could just reformat the RAM...

What. Is. The. Machine. Doing.
Ah! Well...
It's broken.

The Helicopter
He takes you to the copier, effectively describes the problem, nods and smiles when you say you'll take care of it... Then stays.

And stays.

And doesn't go away.

What?
Is he writing a manual?
Puzzling over your earthling technology?
Checking out your butt?
What!

After awhile, the awkward silence will get to him and he'll just have to chat you up...
How long you been servicing copiers?
How long you been with your company?
What's your territory?
I have a friend who services copiers...
How long you been serv...
Already asked that.

(Help me.)

One word:
Vaccum.

Bonus Track
The angry end-user.
It's not really their fault, it's Sales'. Poor expectations. They just got the machine less than a year ago and it's already jamming. Rediculous! Preposterous! Unacceptable! It's slow, always gives them problems, and jams all the time (Super-Economy, opened, wavy, damp, 100% recycled no-name stock sitting on the floor, that appears to have been loaded by throwing it at the copier from across the room). Why, it was jamming last month like every other copy (log shows six occurrances in 20K clicks). And the salesman said they could duplex card stock (aspect set on Plain for 100# Index C2S stock). And all the time it will just stop and not do anything (periodic color stabilization). Plus color matching is all wrong and looks nothing like my monitor (PCL driver).
Put on your Customer Service hat and best Brad Pitt smile...
I have no time for this!
This machine is not very user friendly.
We should just send it back.
I think we'll go with a different company.






Yes ma'am.



-I

[blackcat4866]

I love it!

For the helicopters I start to hand them things. First just a screwdriver or a pair of pliers. But if they persist I'll find them something really gunky to hold, like a leaky waste bottle or a greasy clutch, maybe both together so the toner sticks. Soon they have something to do somewhere else. =^..^=

[prntrfxr]

I love helicopters. I start teaching. I explain everything I'm doing including the science behind it. If they ask me why, I tell them that I thought that was why they were hanging around. Sometimes, if I don't feel like teaching, I ask them where their desk/workstation is. When they tell me I say, "Great! I'll come get you when I'm done and you can help me test it. We'll be running some tests from the pc (usually I work on printers) so see if you can get something to print ready, but don't send it yet. Ok?"

If it's a copier I will tell them to go to a certain website or print something they would like to use to make test copies of. I used to keep lots of various test charts and color images in a folder in my bag. I have sent some to a nearby cubicle to go through and pick a the best (in their opinion) test chart or image to copy. It gives the back of your neck a break from the eye burn they give you and keeps them busy.

This sometimes works with the geniuses too. Usually for them I get them to play nurse and ask me to hand me tools from my bag (since they know so much). If he's genuinely interested in helping, the nurse role helps feed that need. If he's just trying to impress you, the tool thing will seem like work and he'll go away. If they start bragging (oh how I hate braggarts), I simply ask them what made they leave the industry, because obviously they're not in it now. No matter what they say you can follow up with this:

"I'm always fascinated by what makes a person decide not to do this anymore. Some don't like the lack of appreciation, some it's the lack of money, some it's the travel. The biggest problem is so many techs like the technology but don't know how to troubleshoot and that's really something that can't be taught. You know what I mean? I mean I've met lots of techs who think they're all that, but when push comes to shove, they just can't handle it."

Most of the time, the person doesn't like the direction the conversation is going and will find a way to leave the area. Be very careful not to personally accuse him/her of doing that. You can always apologize your way out if they get too upset, but you'll have made your point.

As for the password changer, I have called them before entering the building and by the time I get to their floor, they have a) gone to lunch, b) gone home for the day, or c) can not be found. The second you leave without seeing them is when you get a call and they're all scrappy and grouchy about it. One of my pet peeves is having to deal with IT people.

[excanonguy]

Fantastic thread lol ! Slow day here today and you guys just made me laugh my ass off!! Thanks !

[gwaddle]

Had one today that had to supervise the work. He use to be in the business, now he's a minister. I had my doubts about his time as a tech, for one thing he couldn't pronounce Kyocera, and the only technical term he seemed to know was transfer belt.

[Akitu]

It seems to be a common theme with ministers to become the helicopter type individuals... I can't possibly imagine why, be it my shady, untrustworthy appearance (rocking a goatee after all, I'm quite the shady character), or just the fact they like to watch over everything and see to it all the mice are going for the cheese...

[ragajungle]

High-Larious!

Is there one you can come up with for the end user who puts "Other" in the service request and gives you a number that is disconnected or brings you to a circular robo directory?

Or the one that has no time to tell you whats the deal, or doesn't know what the problem is to begin with, much less where the copier is.... they just heard that a copier was broke.

[mjunkaged]

I think some of the 'choppers' are also 'pennypinchers' which makes for DOUBLE the fun!
I had a couple do that to me while I was working on their doc. feeder that I hadn't taken a similar one apart in over 10 years. One of them starts asking me questions while both of my hands are busy trying to disassemble. I really wanted my eyes + brain to be involved in that task as well, NOT TALKING about the same things I've already nicely explained twice to both of them!
So when I turn my head to answer same question for 3rd time <plink!> the little stainless pin falls DOWN INSIDE the feeder!! So I say, "Uh-Oh! Looks like I'm not going to be able to fix this in under an hour now, because I have to look for the pin that just fell into your feeder because you're talking to me while I'm trying to take the machine apart! I'll do my best to find it as fast as I can! Sorrreeeee!"
I did indeed have to charge them an extra half hour. Since I'm now self-employed, it was DOUBLY gratifying!!!

[Akitu]

I like to think that if I'm busy working on their copier, and elbow deep into the core of the machine, if someone were to come talking to me that I might be able to reasonably respond as little as possible and focus on the task at hand. More often than not they're understanding of the situation and will repeat their questions or just walk away and not demand to be answered.

Basically, treat them like a 5 year old. It sounds cruel, but in reality, you're there doing your job, and they're just hovering around asking questions making your job more irritable, so pay as little or as much attention to them as you'd like, and things often wind up being resolved in a timely manner with both parties feeling a little less hostile (read: technician does not want to murder individual).

Typically, I'm more than happy to answer their questions, as it saves me from having to repeat them later, or I can say "didn't I explain this to you last time I was here?", I currently know not of one person who was displeased with my presence.

[nmfaxman]

Need to add the WHILE YOU'RE HERE.
I need toner. Can you look at our printer for free? This person can't see the scans on my computer. My computer won't print duplex on a shared printer.