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During a lady's medical examination, the doctor says, "Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine. Now let me see the bit that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble."
The woman starts taking off her underwear but is interrupted by the doctor, "No, no! Don't remove your clothes. Just stick out your tongue!"
man says to his secretary things are really bad at the moment and I will have to lay off one of the staff,
can you tell me who were the last two in .I will interview them before I make my decision
yes she said it was Sandra and jack .he called Sandra in first and said I am sorry but because of
the companies position I will have to lay you or jack off.
she said its the wrong time of the month so you will have to do the other thing.
Mystic Crystal Revelations
A preacher looks out among the people showing up for his service and is disgusted by the appearance of a lot of the men. Poorly dressed, bloodshot eyes barely awake after a night of drinking at the local tavern. It bothers him enough to launch into a real fire and brimstone sermon about the evils of alcohol.
"Just look at yourselves!" he exclaimed. "You should be ashamed. Wasting your life sitting at that house of sin night after night, spending all of your money.You are being taken advantage of. The saloon keeper takes everybody's money and leaves them in the poorhouse, while he lives the good life. You spend all of your money there and have none left for your family! Ask yourself who has the biggest house in town...The saloon keeper! Who drives the nicest car in town...The saloon keeper! Who spends his life hanging around with harlots and loose women...The saloon keeper!
The preacher went on and on about the towns tavern and barkeep til he felt he had driven the message home. On Wednesday he stopped in the diner to have some breakfast and ran into Mr. Jones, one of the members of his congregation. When Mr.Jones saw him, he jumped up and ran over and shook his hand.
"Preacher, I just wanted you to know that your sermon may have changed my life!" said Mr.Jones
"Well that's wonderful" said the preacher, I am glad to hear you are going to quit drinking."
"Oh no sir, that's not it. I went out Monday morning and put a down payment on a saloon!"
The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking
It's like our Candid Camera from years agoOriginally Posted by Tonerbomb
A man with a stutter is visiting the doctor.
"How's the stutter?", asks the doctor.
"It's g-getting better. My mate calls me D-Donkey," replies the man.
"Any idea why?" The doctor asks.
"No, but he aw he aw he aw he always calls me that."
Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?
Paddy is an Irish dude with a really bad stutter. He starts work on a high rise construction site.
He asks the boss " w,w,w where s,s,should I s,start w,w,work?"
The boss tells him to head on up to the tenth floor and help the bricklayers.
Paddy is working away doing his job when one of the bricklayers accidentally drops a brick over the side of the building.
The brickie quickly yells "FALLING BRICK!!!"....
In that same moment a millionaire happened to be walking under the building and looked up to see the brick falling just in time to step out of the way.
Extremely over come by the moment the millionaire races up to the tenth floor vigorously shakes the hand of the brickie an offers to buy him a brand new car.
Paddy thinks to himself sheezz that's all right...
The next morning Paddy sees the millionaire walking under the building again, thinking that he might get a new car,he quietly nudges a brick over the edge of the building.
Paddy leans over the scaffold of the building and yells" F,F,F,F....F$&#%: ..... I got him....."
Inauguration to the "AI cancel-culture" fraternity 1997...
•••••• •••[§]• |N | € | o | M | Δ | t | π | ¡ | x | •[§]••• ••••••
they have a new Viagra pill for women
it gives them a wide on
Haha... I just wish it would give their mojo a bit more RPM...they have a new Viagra pill for women
it gives them a wide on
Inauguration to the "AI cancel-culture" fraternity 1997...
•••••• •••[§]• |N | € | o | M | Δ | t | π | ¡ | x | •[§]••• ••••••
Paddy Englishman, Paddy Scotsman and Paddy Irishman are walking in the woods when they stumble across an old sex wizard down on his luck. "Wishes for a tenner!" shouts the wizard. "I'll give you anything you like, but I'm sick and tired of making knobs bigger, so don't ask!"
Without wasting a second, Paddy Englishman hands the wizard a ten pound note. "I want my wife to be ten times more adventurous in bed."
The sex wizard nods. "Uxor non inhibitoris! An easy one! It is done!"
Paddy Scotsman counts out nine pound coins and two 50 pence pieces. "My wife and I are happy enough, but I'm terrified of becoming a grandfather before I'm 50. I'd be obliged if you could fix it so my teenage daughters can't get pregnant before they're 25."
The sex wizard nods. "Filiae non fertilismus! Very wise! It is done!"
The sex wizard turns to Paddy Irishman, who has his hands planted firmly in his pockets and looks ready to move on. "No wish for you?"
"I'll save my tenner," says Paddy Irishman, with a grin. "These boys have me covered!"
Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?
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