Joke of the Day

[NeoMatrix]

Now we can officially say "Jan 8th is the day Akitu became senile"

"wh..what happened???" they asked. "did you see that big ass "Joke Thread" over there?" "ye..yes?!" "well.. I didn't"

Probably needs to clear his browser cache for the latest posts from CTN....

[fixthecopier]

A man was stopped by the police around 2 am. The officer asked him where he was going at that time of night.
The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."
The officer then asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"
The man replied, "That would be my wife."

[allan]

What is the difference between woman and dolfans?


Both are said to be intelligent but nobody can prove it!

[allan]

What do you say to a blond with two blue eyes.



Nothing you're done talking.

[fixthecopier]

A Canadian woman lives with her family in a forest near the border with the US. One autumn morning, her son comes home from town holding a letter. He approaches the woman and says:
"According to this letter, the United States wants to consider this area as part of Montana. The Canadian government agrees, but says that since we're the only family living here, they want our permission to sign this land over to the US."
The woman jumps out of her chair and exclaims, "Where do I sign? I don't think I can stand another Canadian winter!"

[MHeon71]

Canadian walks into a lumber yard and asks "Can I buy some 2X6's?". The clerk asks "how long?". Canadian says "A long time, I am building a garage.".

2 Canadians, Claude and Patrice, are roofing a house. Claude notice Patrice throwing a nail off the roof after every other nail and asks "Why are you throwing all those nails off the roof?". Patrice says "The head of the nail was on the wrong side of the nail.". Claude says "You idiot, those nails are for the other side of the roof."

A Frenchman, an Englishman and a Polish man were all captured and were put in front of the firing squad. The Colonel asks "Do you have any final words?" to the 3 men. The Frenchman screams "Tornado". The soldiers all take cover and the Frenchman jumps the wall to safety. The Englishman screams "Sandstorm" and the soldiers take cover and he jumps the wall to safety. The Polish man screams "Fire".

[emujo]

What is the difference between woman and dolfans?


Both are said to be intelligent but nobody can prove it!

Might be a good joke if I knew what a "dolfan" was. Emujo

[emujo]

What do you say to a blond with two blue eyes.



Nothing you're done talking.

Again, re-read your posts...blue eyes???? Emujo

[theengel]

If anyone feels like reposting a joke, I'm pretty cool with that. Most of us weren't here from the very beginning of the forum, and none of us have the time to go back 270 + pages and read EVERY joke. If I've read one before, I won't laugh... but I won't complain either. Complaining about a retold joke (or a wrongly told joke) seems kind of silly to me. I appreciate the few seconds people spend posting a joke, and I hope they continue to do so.

[emujo]

I agree, a good joke is worth re-telling, but what do you say to a blond with 2 blue eyes??? I don't know, "hey blue eyes"...Emujo