Joke of the Day

[NeoMatrix]

How to cope if you're feeling old.

Be sure to read the comment below the comic.

Also, open the link at your own peril.

I remember my brother and old man having a verbal one day.
The old man says to the brother "get up there and get that for me will you."
The brother says "Why ?"
The old mans replies "cause your fitter and much younger than I am."
My witty brother chimes back "No! do it yourself. You're always telling us to use up the old one before starting on the new one."

The brother has a couple of similar one-liner witty comments to throw back at the old man.

[allan]

15073512_1208518995905429_6493641499242224628_n.jpg

[slimslob]

15073512_1208518995905429_6493641499242224628_n.jpg

Here's Cal Worthington and his dog Spot.

[Iowatech]

You're not helping

Sorry!

[emujo]

Joke of the day is getting a little dusty so.....



In an odd coincidence, the Queen of England and Dolly Parton die on the same day at the exact same time. When they arrive at the Pearly Gates, St Peter says "this is a problem, when two people die at the exact same time, we can only let one of them in. We have reviewed both of your records and we see that you both have led good lives, helped millions of strangers, and donated an enormous amount of time and money to charitable functions. As far as we can see it's a tie. We will allow you both to try and convince us which one of you should be allowed to enter". Dolly comes forward and removes her blouse. I think God will enjoy looking at these every day for eternity. St Peter looks over at the Queen. The Queen walks over to a nearby toilet and flushes it. St Peter immediately opens the Gates and motions the Queen to come in. Dolly says "what the heck? Why her and not me? St Peter says "Sorry Dolly, but no matter where, a Royal Flush beats a pair no matter how big they are". Emujo

[Phrag]

Did you guys hear about the roman who went feral and ate his wife?

She was terrible. I'm gladiator.

[ZOOTECH]

Did you guys hear about the roman who went feral and ate his wife?

She was terrible. I'm gladiator.

GROAN!!!

[NeoMatrix]

Anonymous swingers party.
One chew Three,
Four and Five felt Six,
so Seven Eight Nine.

[ZOOTECH]

Anonymous swingers party.
One chew Three,
Four and Five felt Six,
so Seven Eight Nine.

That's why seven hates nine.

[NeoMatrix]

That's why seven hates nine.

Six hates Seven , because Seven ate Nine.
Six said "Seven left with a bad taste."
Didn't want to feel Six like Four and Five.