Thread: Joke of the Day

  1. #3701
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

    habik's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    My ISP has a fair competition! I made transfer speed of 64GB/s. My vacuume has eaten my USB stick.
    .OK Google! ... will I need Berrocca this morning?
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  2. #3702
    Senior Tech. 2,500+ Posts NeoMatrix's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by habik View Post
    My ISP has a fair competition! I made transfer speed of 64GB/s. My vacuume has eaten my USB stick.



    Wow!!!, that really sucks...











    Okay I know bad pun.... press <groan button> here......
    What if we could count the stars... , what number would you stop at...?"
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  3. #3703
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by NeoMatrix View Post
    Wow!!!, that really sucks...











    Okay I know bad pun.... press <groan button> here......

    It works.. Quite funny
    .OK Google! ... will I need Berrocca this morning?
    Firmwares HERE

  4. #3704
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    A bear walks into a bar and asks for a drink. Bartender says sorry, we don't serve bears here. Bear pulls out a wad of cash and says come on, my moneys good give me drink. Bartender says sorry we don't serve bears. Bear says if you don't give me drink, I'm gonna go eat that woman at the bar. Bartender says sorry, we don't serve bears. The bear walks to the bar, eviscerates the woman, and eats her up. Now will you give me a drink? The bartender says sorry, we don't serve druggies. The bear says what are you talking about, I'm a bear, not a druggie. The bartender says I just saw that barbiturate. This comes with a built in "groan"..Emujo
    If you don't see your question answered in the forum, please don't think it's OK to PM me for a personal reply...I do not give out firmware and/or manuals.

  5. #3705
    Senior Tech. 2,500+ Posts NeoMatrix's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Two blokes walk to a bar with a beer drinking giraffe.
    The trio sit at the bar for a long night getting quite drunk.
    Last round is called from the bartender, so the trio
    decide to call it a night. The giraffe gets up and
    heads for the door and falls head over hooves on the floor passed out.
    The other two guys walk over top of the giraffe an head for the door.
    The bartender yells out, "Hey!, you can't leave that lyin' there".
    One bloke looks at the bartender and says, "buddy!!! that's not a lion!, that's a giraffe!".
    What if we could count the stars... , what number would you stop at...?"
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  6. #3706
    Not a service manager 2,500+ Posts Iowatech's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day


  7. #3707
    Not a service manager 2,500+ Posts Iowatech's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day


  8. #3708
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    How to spot the gullible people in your office.



    20170221_112817.jpg
    At least 50% of IT is a solution looking for a problem.

  9. #3709
    Retired 10,000+ Posts slimslob's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Two nuns were in back of the convent smoking cigarettes, when one said,”It’s bad enough that we have to sneak out here to smoke, but it really is a problem getting rid of the cigarette butts so Mother Superior doesn’t find them.”
    The second nun said, “I’ve found a marvelous invention called the condom, which really solves this problem. You just open the packet up, take out the condom, and put the cigarette butt in, roll it up, and dispose of it all later!”
    The first nun was quite impressed and asked where she could find them.
    “You get them at the drug store, Sister, just go and ask the pharmacist for them.”
    The next day the good sister went to the drug store and walked up to the counter.
    “Good morning, Sister,“ said the pharmacist. “What can I do for you today?”
    I’d like some condoms, please,” said the nun.
    The pharmacist was a little taken aback, but recovered soon enough and asked, “How many boxes would you like? There are twelve to a box.”
    “I’ll take six boxes – that should last about a week,” she replied.
    The pharmacist was truly flabbergasted by this time, and was almost afraid to ask any more questions, but his professionalism prevailed and he asked in a clear voice, “Sister, what size condoms would you like – we have large, extra large, and big liar size.”
    The sister thought for a minute, and finally said, “I’m not certain, perhaps you could recommend a good size for a Camel.”
    The pharmacist fainted!

  10. #3710
    Senior member of CRS 2,500+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    The Major League speed-eating record for bologna is 2.76 pounds in 6 minutes, held by Don Lerman.
    Observers said they never sausage a feat as unbelievable as that!
    "You can't trust your eyes, if your mind is out of focus" --

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