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Thread: Joke of the Day

  1. #4621
    Retired 10,000+ Posts slimslob's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    WHAT RELIGION IS YOUR BRA?
    A man walked into the ladies department and shyly walked up to
    the woman behind the counter and said,
    'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. '
    ' What type of bra?' asked the clerk.
    'Type?' inquires the man, 'There's more than one type?'
    ' Look around,' said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable.
    'Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from.'
    Relieved, the man asked about the types.
    The saleslady replied:
    'There are the Catholic, Salvation Army, Presbyterian, and the Baptist types.
    Which one would you prefer?'
    Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.
    The Saleslady responded, 'It is all really quite simple.'
    The Catholic type supports the masses;
    The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen;
    The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright;
    The Baptist type makes mountains out of molehills.
    Oh and
    Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD , E, F, G, and H are the letters used
    to define bra sizes?
    If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!
    {A} Almost Boobs.
    {B} Barely there.
    {C} Can't Complain.
    {D} Dang!
    {DD} Double dang!
    {E} Enormous!
    {F} Fake.
    {G} Get a Reduction.
    {H} Help me, I've fallen
    and I can't get up!
    Send this to all that will appreciate it!
    .
    Oh...They forgot the German bra.
    Holtzemfromfloppen!!

  2. #4622
    Service Manager 5,000+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

    Phil B.'s Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by slimslob View Post
    WHAT RELIGION IS YOUR BRA?
    A man walked into the ladies department and shyly walked up to
    the woman behind the counter and said,
    'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. '
    ' What type of bra?' asked the clerk.
    'Type?' inquires the man, 'There's more than one type?'
    ' Look around,' said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable.
    'Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from.'
    Relieved, the man asked about the types.
    The saleslady replied:
    'There are the Catholic, Salvation Army, Presbyterian, and the Baptist types.
    Which one would you prefer?'
    Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.
    The Saleslady responded, 'It is all really quite simple.'
    The Catholic type supports the masses;
    The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen;
    The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright;
    The Baptist type makes mountains out of molehills.
    Oh and
    Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD , E, F, G, and H are the letters used
    to define bra sizes?
    If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!
    {A} Almost Boobs.
    {B} Barely there.
    {C} Can't Complain.
    {D} Dang!
    {DD} Double dang!
    {E} Enormous!
    {F} Fake.
    {G} Get a Reduction.
    {H} Help me, I've fallen
    and I can't get up!
    Send this to all that will appreciate it!
    .
    Oh...They forgot the German bra.
    Holtzemfromfloppen!!
    You Sir might have out done yourself! Joke of the DayJoke of the Day

    Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk

  3. #4623
    Retired 10,000+ Posts slimslob's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by Phil B. View Post
    You Sir might have out done yourself! Joke of the DayJoke of the Day

    Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk
    I stole it off Facebook from one of the young women who used to be in my Army Reserve Unit.

  4. #4624
    Senior Tech. 2,500+ Posts NeoMatrix's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by slimslob View Post
    I stole it off Facebook from one of the young women who used to be in my Army Reserve Unit.
    Brings to mind an old anecdote.
    Elevator Steward....

    Travelling in an elevator one morning,I was standing directly at the elevator operating panel.
    The elevator was travelling down and stopping at each of the lower floors.
    The doors opened an four toffee-nosed university Professors,dressed to the nines, looking seriously important,stepped into the elevator.
    I felt like a stick in the mud, I felt that out of place.
    Without saying a word;drowning in their own importance, they looked down their nose at me, an assumed that I must press the elevator button for them.

    Sharp-as-a-tack...
    I said, "Okay guys..., Going down, Ladies Underwear"....

    They looked at each other with a serious look, slowly smiled,and bursting into fits of laughter....

    I could still hear them laughing as I exit the building....

    Seems the Toffee-Profs have a sense of humour....


    True story....
    What if we could count the stars... , what number would you stop at...?"
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  5. #4625
    Retired 10,000+ Posts slimslob's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    The coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, "Do you understand what co-operation is? What a team is?" "Yes, coach", replied the boy.... "Do you understand that what matters is we win or lose as a team?" The boy nodded in yes. The coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him a pecker-head, jerk-face or a-hole. Do you understand all that?" Again, the boy nodded yes. And when I take you out of the game so that another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach a dumb ass or shithead is it?" "No, coach. "Good," said the coach, "Now go over there and explain all that to your Grandmother"!

  6. #4626
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    BREAKING NEWS:
    John Travolta was hospitalized with Suspected Covid-19,
    but doctors are now confirming that it was only Saturday Night Fever,
    and they assure everyone he is Staying Alive.
    Apparently he had Chills.....They were Multiplying.
    Omertΰ

  7. #4627
    Senior Tech. 2,500+ Posts NeoMatrix's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by FrohnB View Post
    BREAKING NEWS:
    John Travolta was hospitalized with Suspected Covid-19,
    but doctors are now confirming that it was only Saturday Night Fever,
    and they assure everyone he is Staying Alive.
    Apparently he had Chills.....They were Multiplying.
    an was losing control...

    His missus said "So ya beta shape up... ,coz I need a man"...

    Her skin tight leather outfit did the trick...

    Along with 15.2 million other blokes...
    What if we could count the stars... , what number would you stop at...?"
    [Exchange manual acquisitions, PM's CTN members only. ]
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  8. #4628
    Retired 10,000+ Posts slimslob's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    A funeral procession pulled into cemetery near Beaufort, SC.

    Several car loads of family members followed a black truck towing a boat with a coffin in it.

    A passer-by remarked: "That guy must have been a really avid fisherman.”

    "Oh, very much so," responded one of the mourners.

    "As a matter of fact, he's headed off to the lake as soon as we bury his wife."

  9. #4629
    Senior Tech 100+ Posts izzynut's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
    Arlene: What in the hell is that?
    Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
    Arlene: Where did you get it?
    Jane: You can get them at any pharmacy.
    The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and
    announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
    The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what size, texture, brand of condom she prefers.
    'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'
    The pharmacist fainted.

  10. #4630
    Retired 10,000+ Posts slimslob's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Wife: Did I get fat during
    quarantine?
    Husband: You weren't
    really skinny to begin with!
    Time of death 11:00 PM
    Cause: COVID


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