Page 478 of 480 FirstFirst ... 378428468469470471472473474475476477478479480 LastLast
Results 4,771 to 4,780 of 4798

Thread: Joke of the Day

  1. #4771
    Service Manager 2,500+ Posts tsbservice's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    3,513
    Rep Power
    157

    Re: Joke of the Day

    This Farmer has a rooster that screws everything.
    Chickens, birds, rabbits, everything. He told the old rooster if he didn't stop it he was going to screw himself to death.
    A few days latter the farmer went out for a walk. He saw the Rooster laying on his back with his feet up in the air.
    He went over to the rooster and looked down at him and said I knew you would screw yourself to death.
    The old rooster opened one eye and went "Shhhhh buzzards".
    A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.

    Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

  2. #4772
    Senior Tech 100+ Posts izzynut's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    Bathurst, NB
    Posts
    200
    Rep Power
    24

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary.
    Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, “Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing.“
    “Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!”
    Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.
    An hour later Abe turns to his wife and asks, “Esther, did we pay our $5,000 PBS pledge check yet?” “No, sweetheart,” she responds.
    Abe, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, “Esther, did we pay our American Express card yet?” “Oh, no! I’m sorry. I forgot to send the check,” she says.
    “One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to send checks for the Visa and MasterCard this month?” he asks. “Oh, forgive me, Abie,” begged Esther. “I didn’t send that one, either.”
    Abe grabs her and gives her the biggest kiss in 40 years. Esther pulls away and asks him,
    “What was that for?”
    Abe answers,
    “They’ll find us!”

  3. #4773
    Retired 10,000+ Posts slimslob's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Bakersfield, CA
    Posts
    13,604
    Rep Power
    352

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Why cats are banned from pirate ships!


  4. #4774
    Retired 10,000+ Posts slimslob's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Bakersfield, CA
    Posts
    13,604
    Rep Power
    352

    Re: Joke of the Day


  5. #4775
    Retired 10,000+ Posts slimslob's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Bakersfield, CA
    Posts
    13,604
    Rep Power
    352

    Re: Joke of the Day


  6. #4776
    Retired 10,000+ Posts slimslob's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Bakersfield, CA
    Posts
    13,604
    Rep Power
    352

    Re: Joke of the Day


  7. #4777
    Service Manager 10,000+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

    Phil B.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Location
    Raleigh NC
    Posts
    11,662
    Rep Power
    282

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by slimslob View Post
    Bad move!

    Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk

  8. #4778
    Retired 10,000+ Posts slimslob's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Bakersfield, CA
    Posts
    13,604
    Rep Power
    352

    Re: Joke of the Day


  9. #4779
    Service Manager 2,500+ Posts tsbservice's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    3,513
    Rep Power
    157

    Re: Joke of the Day

    A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.

    Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

  10. #4780
    Service Manager 2,500+ Posts tsbservice's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    3,513
    Rep Power
    157

    Re: Joke of the Day

    A guy phones a law office and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer."

    The receptionist replies, "I'm sorry but he died last week."

    The next day he phones again and asks the same question. The receptionist replies, "I told you yesterday, he died last week."

    The next day the guy calls again and asks to speak to his lawyer. By this time the receptionist is getting annoyed and replies, "I keep telling you that your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling?"

    The guy responds, "Because I just love hearing it."
    A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.

    Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Get the Android App
click or scan for the Copytechnet Mobile App

-= -= -= -= -=


IDrive Remote Backup

Lunarpages Internet Solutions

Advertise on Copytechnet

Your Link Here