Thread: Joke of the Day

  1. #4811
    Service Manager 2,500+ Posts tsbservice's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months.


    Yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
    One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

    As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, 'You know what?
    You have been with me all through the bad times.
    When I got fired, you were there to support me.
    When my business failed, you were there.
    When I got shot, you were by my side.
    When we lost the house, you stayed right here.
    When my health started failing, you were still by my side...
    You know what Martha?'
    'What dear?' she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.


    'I'm beginning to think you're bad luck...
    A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.

    Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

  2. #4812
    Service Manager 2,500+ Posts tsbservice's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    My wife and I were woken up in the night by a sound from downstairs.

    I got the baseball bat from under the bed and we cautiously descended the stairs, bat gripped tight in my hand, to find a very hot girl in our living room.

    My wife took a blow to the head and doesn't remember anything after this point.
    A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.

    Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

  3. #4813
    Service Manager 2,500+ Posts tsbservice's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Son: 'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'

    Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'

    Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'
    A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.

    Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

  4. #4814
    Service Manager 2,500+ Posts tsbservice's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    A HR Manager, his Assistant, an old woman and her young daughter are traveling in a train and during the course of time get themselves introduced to each other and become temporary friends.

    The train goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark.

    Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap!

    The train comes out of the tunnel.

    The women and the Assistant are sitting there looking perplexed.

    The Manager is bending over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap.

    All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

    The Old woman is thinking:

    “These Managers are all crazy after girls. He must have kissed my daughter in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him.”

    The Young girl is thinking:

    “The Manager must have tried to kiss me but kissed my mother instead and got slapped.”

    The Manager is thinking:

    “Damn it. My Assistant must have kissed the young girl. She might have thought it was me and slapped me.”

    Now guess what the Assistant is thinking.

    Now hold your breath and read what the Assistant is thinking………..

    “If this train goes through another tunnel I will make another kissing sound and slap my Manager again. The Rascal keeps harassing me in the Office....
    A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.

    Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

  5. #4815
    Retired 10,000+ Posts slimslob's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day


  6. #4816
    Senior member of CRS 2,500+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    _____________________
    HAPPINESS

    To be happy with a man, you must understand
    him a lot and love him a little.

    To be happy with a woman,
    you must love her a lot and
    not try to understand her at all.
    "You can't trust your eyes, if your mind is out of focus" --

  7. #4817
    Senior member of CRS 2,500+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING
    YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

    Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me
    in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
    They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
    "You can't trust your eyes, if your mind is out of focus" --

  8. #4818
    Retired 10,000+ Posts slimslob's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day


  9. #4819
    Retired 10,000+ Posts slimslob's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day


  10. #4820
    Service Manager 10,000+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

    Phil B.'s Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by slimslob View Post

    We've been living it for a couple of months now!

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