Thread: Joke of the Day

  1. #5021
    Field Supervisor 500+ Posts
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Posts
    988
    Rep Power
    48

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by slimslob View Post
    Could this be bsm2's main squeeze?

    Think this is mostly photo shopped, but still, more of a woman than Mr Kaitlyn Jenner.

  2. #5022
    Retired 10,000+ Posts slimslob's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Bakersfield, CA
    Posts
    14,933
    Rep Power
    410

    Re: Joke of the Day

    BREAKING NEWS!
    Oscar Telecast beaten in Ratings by Calexico TV test Pattern!

  3. #5023
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts bob marley's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    1,271
    Rep Power
    42

    Re: Joke of the Day

    A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
    After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. " Oh , I really liked it," she replied, "especially the
    tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25
    cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and
    then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!'
    I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"
    Live for yourself and you will live in vain. Live for others, and you will live again

  4. #5024
    Service Manager 2,500+ Posts tsbservice's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    4,029
    Rep Power
    184

    Re: Joke of the Day

    The first grade teacher was starting a new lesson on multi-syllable words.
    She thought it would be a good idea to ask a few of the children examples of words with more than one syllable.
    "Jane, Do you know any multi-syllable words?" After some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday.
    "Great Jane. That has two syllables, Mon......day. Does anyone know another word?"
    Johnny from the back of the room yells, "I do! I do!" Knowing Johnny's more mature sense of humor she picks Mike instead.
    "OK Mike, what is your word."
    Saturday says Mike. "Great, that has three syllables..." Not wanting to be outdone Johnny says
    "I know a four syllable word. Pick me! Pick me!"
    Not thinking he can do any harm with a word that large the teacher reluctantly says,
    "O.K. Johnny what is your four syllable word?" Johnny proudly says, "Mas...tur...ba...tion."
    Shocked, the teacher, trying to retain her composure says,
    "Wow, Johnny. Four syllables! That's certainly is a mouthful."
    "No Ma'am, your thinking of 'BJ', and that's only two syllables."




    A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.

    Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

  5. #5025
    Service Manager 2,500+ Posts tsbservice's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    4,029
    Rep Power
    184

    Re: Joke of the Day

    A family was driving behind a garbage truck when all of a sudden a large dildo flies out and hits the windscreen.

    To hide her embarrassment, the mother turns and says to her young kids "My that was a big insect!"

    The two kids sat there for a moment before her 7-year-old son replied "Man, I'm surprised it could fly with wiener that big!"


    A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.

    Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

  6. #5026
    Retired 10,000+ Posts slimslob's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Bakersfield, CA
    Posts
    14,933
    Rep Power
    410

    Re: Joke of the Day


  7. #5027
    Service Manager 10,000+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

    Phil B.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Location
    Raleigh NC
    Posts
    14,113
    Rep Power
    370

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by slimslob View Post

    I know this is a JOKE...but these guys are putzes along with Fauxci

  8. #5028
    Retired 10,000+ Posts slimslob's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Bakersfield, CA
    Posts
    14,933
    Rep Power
    410

    Re: Joke of the Day




  9. #5029
    Service Manager 2,500+ Posts tsbservice's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    4,029
    Rep Power
    184

    Re: Joke of the Day

    I know this was published maybe even by me but it still a hell of fun

    After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which
    conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during
    the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct
    the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form
    what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets
    before the next flight.
    Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of
    humor!
    Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as
    submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance
    engineers.
    (P = the problem logged by the pilot.)
    (S = the solution and action taken by the engineers.)

    P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
    S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
    S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

    P: Something loose in cockpit.
    S: Something tightened in cockpit.

    P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    S: Live bugs on back-order.

    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S: Evidence removed.

    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to more believable level.

    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    S: That's what they're there for.

    P: IFF inoperative.
    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

    P: Suspected crack in windshield.
    S: Suspect you're right.

    P: Number 3 engine missing.
    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

    P: Aircraft handles funny.
    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

    P: Target radar hums.
    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

    P: Mouse in cockpit.
    S: Cat installed.

    P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding
    on something with a hammer.
    S: Took hammer away from midget.
    A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.

    Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

  10. #5030
    Service Manager 2,500+ Posts tsbservice's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    4,029
    Rep Power
    184

    Re: Joke of the Day

    John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said,
    'Here's to spending the rest of me life!, between the legs of me wife!'

    That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

    He went home and told his wife, Mary, 'I won the prize for the Best toast of the night'
    She said, 'Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?'

    John said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.'
    'Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!' Mary said.

    The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner.

    The man chuckled leeringly and said,
    'John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.'
    'She said, 'Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years.
    Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come...'
    A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.

    Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Get the Android App
click or scan for the Copytechnet Mobile App

-= -= -= -= -=


IDrive Remote Backup

Lunarpages Internet Solutions

Advertise on Copytechnet

Your Link Here