Thread: Joke of the Day

  1. #5141
    Retired 10,000+ Posts slimslob's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Well shit.. I think my license might be in jeopardy..
    and all just because of a stupid state trooper...

    The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over on my bike:

    Trooper: "License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!"

    Me: "I assure you, I did not drink anything."

    Trooper: "Ok, let's do a little test! Imagine driving in the dark on a highway at night, when you see two lights in the distance. What is this?"

    Me: "A car."

    Trooper:"Of course! But which one? A Mercedes, an Audi or a Ford?"

    Me:"I have no idea!"

    Trooper:"So, you're drunk."

    Me:"But I didn't drink anything."

    Trooper:"Okay, one more test -- Imagine, you drive in the dark on a highway at night, and there is one light coming at you.What is it?

    Me:"A motorcycle."

    Trooper:"Of course! But which one? A Honda, a Kawasaki or a Harley?"

    Me:"I have no idea!"

    Trooper:"As I suspected, you're drunk!"

    Then I started to get annoyed and asked a counter question.

    Me: "So... counter question -- You're driving in the dark on a highway at night and see a woman on the roadside. She wears a mini skirt, fishnet stockings, high heeled shoes and only a bra as a top. What is this?"

    Trooper:"A prostitute of course."

    Me:"Yes, but which one? Your daughter, your wife or your mother?"

    Things went downhill from there and now I have a court date to attend...

  2. #5142
    Senior Tech 100+ Posts izzynut's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    We are still battling the COVID-19 and the next thing is here already. Virologists have identified a new Nile virus - type C. It appears to target those who were born between 1930 & 1970.

    Symptoms:
    Causes you
    1. To send the same message twice.
    2. To send a blank message.
    3. To send a message to the wrong person.
    4. To send it back to the person who sent it to you.
    5. To forget to attach the attachment.
    6. To hit SEND before you've finished.
    7. To hit DELETE instead of SEND.
    8. To SEND when you should DELETE.

    It is called the C-NILE virus!

    And if you cannot admit to doing the above, you have obviously caught the mutated strain — the D-NILE virus.

  3. #5143
    Retired 10,000+ Posts slimslob's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day


  4. #5144
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    Re: Joke of the Day


  5. #5145
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    Re: Joke of the Day


  6. #5146
    Service Manager 10,000+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by slimslob View Post
    So she has two roles in the admin..who the fuck cares? She isn't handling the border crisis.

    Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk

  7. #5147
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by slimslob View Post
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
    Good one.
    Omertà

  8. #5148
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    Re: Joke of the Day


  9. #5149
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Corny joke but a little funny.


    An AC/Heating guy was working on a vent system and an large object was in the vent and started moving.

    The Repairman said, "What are you?" !!!! The object said " Im a Fun Guy!"

    Thanks for all the good jokes.

  10. #5150
    Retired 10,000+ Posts slimslob's Avatar
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    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by 40yearsplus View Post
    Corny joke but a little funny.


    An AC/Heating guy was working on a vent system and an large object was in the vent and started moving.

    The Repairman said, "What are you?" !!!! The object said " Im a Fun Guy!"

    Thanks for all the good jokes.

    Groan.jpg

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