Thread: Joke of the Day

  1. #5931
    Service Manager 5,000+ Posts tsbservice's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    5,348
    Rep Power
    231

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Hot and Cold

    After an examination, the doctor said to his elderly patient:
    'You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?'
    'In fact, I do.' said the old man.
    "After my wife and I have sex, I'm usually cold and chilly; and then, after I have sex with her the second time, I'm usually hot and sweaty."
    When the doctor examined his elderly wife a short time later he said,
    'Everything appears to be fine. Are there any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?'
    The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns.
    The doctor then said to her:
    'Your husband mentioned an unusual problem. He claimed that he was usually cold and chilly after having sex with you the first time; and then hot and sweaty after the second time. Do you have any idea about why?'
    "Oh, that crazy old bastard'' she replied.
    ''That's because the first time is usually in August, and the second time is in January.
    A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.

    Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

  2. #5932
    Retired 10,000+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

    slimslob's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Bakersfield, CA
    Posts
    20,506
    Rep Power
    595

    Re: Joke of the Day


  3. #5933
    Retired 10,000+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

    slimslob's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Bakersfield, CA
    Posts
    20,506
    Rep Power
    595

    Re: Joke of the Day


  4. #5934
    Service Manager 5,000+ Posts tsbservice's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    5,348
    Rep Power
    231

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by slimslob View Post
    Even good idea is to use them (rockets) for stupidity... we may drop off most of our customers though
    A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.

    Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

  5. #5935
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts izzynut's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    New Brunswick
    Posts
    1,338
    Rep Power
    69

  6. #5936
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts izzynut's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    New Brunswick
    Posts
    1,338
    Rep Power
    69

  7. #5937
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts izzynut's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    New Brunswick
    Posts
    1,338
    Rep Power
    69

  8. #5938
    Service Manager 1,000+ Posts izzynut's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    New Brunswick
    Posts
    1,338
    Rep Power
    69

    Re: Joke of the Day

    WHAT STARTS WITH AN "F"

    A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her more precocious students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what exactly is your problem?'
    Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!'

    Ms. Brooks finally had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
    While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained the situation to the principal. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions, he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

    Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he happily agreed to take the test.
    Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'Harry:'9.'
    Principal: 'What is6 x 6?'Harry:'36.'

    And so it went with every question the principal thought a bright 3rd grader should know.
    The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, 'You know, I reckon Harry can go to the 3rdgrade.'
    But Ms. Brooks is still skeptical of the little bugger and says to the principal, 'Not so fast, let me ask him a few questions.. 'The principal and Harry both agree.

    Ms. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'
    Harry, after a moment: 'Legs..'
    Ms. Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'
    The principal wondered why would she ask such a question.
    Harry replied: 'Pocketsí ... to the Principalís great relief...
    Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into? 'Harry: 'Pants.'
    By now, the principal is sitting forward with his mouth hanging open..
    Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?'
    Harry: 'Shake hands.'

    The principal is now trembling with apprehension as Ms. Brooks asks the last question......
    Ms. Brooks: 'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' and indicates a great deal of heat and excitement?'
    Harry: 'Firetruck.'

    The principal breaths a huge sigh of relief and tells the teacher, "Put the little shit in 5th-Grade, I got the last five questions wrong myself.."

  9. #5939
    Retired 10,000+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

    slimslob's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Bakersfield, CA
    Posts
    20,506
    Rep Power
    595

    Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by izzynut View Post
    WHAT STARTS WITH AN "F"

    A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her more precocious students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what exactly is your problem?'
    Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!'

    Ms. Brooks finally had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
    While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained the situation to the principal. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions, he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

    Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he happily agreed to take the test.
    Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'Harry:'9.'
    Principal: 'What is6 x 6?'Harry:'36.'

    And so it went with every question the principal thought a bright 3rd grader should know.
    The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, 'You know, I reckon Harry can go to the 3rdgrade.'
    But Ms. Brooks is still skeptical of the little bugger and says to the principal, 'Not so fast, let me ask him a few questions.. 'The principal and Harry both agree.

    Ms. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'
    Harry, after a moment: 'Legs..'
    Ms. Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'
    The principal wondered why would she ask such a question.
    Harry replied: 'Pocketsí ... to the Principalís great relief...
    Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into? 'Harry: 'Pants.'
    By now, the principal is sitting forward with his mouth hanging open..
    Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?'
    Harry: 'Shake hands.'

    The principal is now trembling with apprehension as Ms. Brooks asks the last question......
    Ms. Brooks: 'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' and indicates a great deal of heat and excitement?'
    Harry: 'Firetruck.'

    The principal breaths a huge sigh of relief and tells the teacher, "Put the little shit in 5th-Grade, I got the last five questions wrong myself.."
    They forgot to ask him one additional question. They should have also asked him he a turtle. Having already answered the entrance exam questions for the Ancient and Honorable Order of Turtles his prompt and proper answer should have been to say as loud as possible "You Bet Your Sweet Ass I Am."


  10. #5940
    Retired 10,000+ Posts
    Joke of the Day

    slimslob's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Bakersfield, CA
    Posts
    20,506
    Rep Power
    595

    Re: Joke of the Day


Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Get the Android App
click or scan for the Copytechnet Mobile App

-= -= -= -= -=


IDrive Remote Backup

Lunarpages Internet Solutions

Advertise on Copytechnet

Your Link Here