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Likes: Originally Posted by slimslob
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Three violin manufactures have all done business for years on the same block in the small town of Cremona, Italy.
After years of a peaceful co-existence, the Amati shop decided to put a sign in the window saying: “We make the best violins in Italy.”
The Guarneri shop soon followed suit, and put a sign in their window proclaiming: “We make the best violins in the world.”
Finally, the Stradivarius family put a sign out at their shop saying: “We make the best violins on the block.”
A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.
I don't reply to private messages from end users.
Two shoe salespeople were sent to Africa to open up new markets. Three days after arriving, one salesperson called the office and said, “I’m returning on the next flight. Can’t sell shoes here. Everybody goes barefoot.”
At the same time, the other salesperson sent an email to the factory, telling “The prospects are unlimited. Nobody wears shoes here!”
A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.
I don't reply to private messages from end users.
Little Eddy and his mom were digging for fishing bait in the garden. Uncovering a many-legged creature, Eddy proudly dangled it before his mom.
“No, honey, it won’t do for bait,” she said. “It’s not an earthworm.”
“It’s not?” Eddy asked, his eyes wide. “What planet is it from?”
A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.
I don't reply to private messages from end users.
A sports writer interviewed the 14 time world champing female fisherman.
"What is your secret, do you have a favorite side of the boat or special lure?"
"No" - was the replay to the lure. "As far as the side of the boat that depends on my husband."
Report says: "I don't understand."
"Well it is this way; I lift up the sheets in the morning and look at my husband's dong, if it is lying on his right leg I fish on the right side of the boat, if on the left I fish on the left side of the boat."
Reporter: "What if it is standing up???"
"Well then to hell with going fishing!!!"
A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.
I don't reply to private messages from end users.
Prince Harry said to be overjoyed as he finally finds a café in LA that will serve black pudding. All the other ones have barred her.
When you think you have made a procedure idiot proof your company employs a better idiot.
is that shaky black puddin'?
( I dated a girl that was nicknamed " Puddin' )
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