If I were President.......

[fixthecopier]

The current election has started to become boring, we all know what each stands for, so if you had the power what would change, for the good of all. Pick things that sound good but will never happen, such as...
Make everyone's licence plate number same as thier phone number, so when they act like dicks, you can call and tell them. E-mail adress has to be across the top of your windshield, and if you do not drive you have to wear it on front of your shirt.

[Baphomet]

Well, since the United States is considered a 'super power' of sorts, I would quit trying to place Iraq in the the hands of Iraqis and simply take control of the country and sew another star on our flag. Then invade and take every other oil rich country ... enlarge the flag to accommodate the additional stars. Then I'd sit down and eat a pizza, drink a beer and burp really loud.

[fixthecopier]

Well if we are going there, build a wall between us and Mexico, take over Canada, and bus whoever complains to Mexico. Nobody from Canada reads this do they?

[Vista Tech]

Well if we are going there, build a wall between us and Mexico, take over Canada, and bus whoever complains to Mexico. Nobody from Canada reads this do they?

I loled really hard at this. Personally since I live right next to the border I would make home security systems for the housing for people in rural areas better. I.E. Every house in a rural area that illegals are known to travel will get sentury guns mounted to the perimeter. And put the same guns out near the border and take the wall down. The wall is useless so I figured a wall of guns that will actually do something about the intrusion would be better.

[Scott_Lewis]

Boy, everyone got serious real quick. Sorta anyway.....

Well I'm going to go with what is probably the hottest social issue. At least it would seem so listening to the conservative talk shows.

I'm damn tired of listening to the pro, cons, right vs wrong, guilt tripping, moral superiority, etc of all this talk about ABORTION.

My solution, put together a series of individual provisional constitutional amendments ranging from ZERO abortions, only before ONE month, only before 3 months, only before 6 months, ANY time and with/without provisions for RAPE & INCEST and mother's HEALTH. Have a vote in all the states, weed out the lowest or least popular options and revote until only two options are left. Then put those two options up for real as constitutional amendments as see where the issue falls.

After that, I never want to hear about it again!

p.s. Pet peeve related to this issue...... people adopting foreign kids when there are something upwards of 125,000 orphans in our own country. Some 20,000 of them a year NEVER get adopted. That is how many of them become of adult age and get dumped out of the system every year.

[FRIDGEMAGNET]

Hmmm all getting very serious.

I would make a law to make copier salesmen have to work with an engineer for 3 months a year so they have to justify their promises to customers in person and not leave it to an engineer to bale them out.

[fixthecopier]

How about making a law that says if a company owns a copier,there has to be a reserved parking spot outside the building for techs or engineers.

[Baphomet]

How about making a law that says if a company owns a copier,there has to be a reserved parking spot outside the building for techs or engineers.

Speaking of parking spaces. Have you seen the reserved space labeled as 'Mother with child' or 'Parents with children'? How about giving some parking spaces for 'Fat ass pig' or 'Too lazy to walk an extra fifty feet'.

But on the subject of "copier laws", I'd make a law that requires a customer to provide enough working space so that a technician can open the front cover of a copier and still be in the same room as the copier.

[Jimbo1]

I would make everyone change their underwear twice daily. They would be required to wear it outside their clothing so it could be checked.

And I would employ the homeless to put slinkies on the escalators at the mall.

[mjarbar]

If I were Pres...

I would pass a law making it mandatory for everyone with a copier to READ THE F*****G MANUAL and not leave them sealed up in the cabinet or someones draw, before calling us out for simple little things that they should be doing themselves, or allow us to charge not only a call out fee but allow us to dock a percentage of their yearly profits.

[pspahr]

where to begin

1: Find a single, effective way to stop illegal immigration (regardless of origin of the illegal) and implement it immediately.

2: Immediately outlaw any and all, future and past, political correctness. Call everything what it is as it is. You are not an undocumented worker, you are in violation of labor laws (not just for illegals, mind you). You are not hypenated-American anything--you're either an American or not. You get the point about PC bullsh/t.

3: As an experiment--Quite literally shut down all import of ANY products that we can make/build/fashion/create on U.S. soil for a period of about 5 years. Also, pay back/buy back all debt owned by other countries (hard to do, but there has to be a way). This would be, as stated previously, an experiment to see how not only the U.S. is affected but also how the rest of the world would fair. This would go a long way in helping rebuild national pride here. We'd still be exporting so anything that other countries rely on us for (other than military or other aid) shouldn't be affected much. One foreseen downside would be those countries which depend on us for our import of their products would find other places to sell it, and, by extension, we'd not be as important to their existence. This has its ups and downs in this respect, but that'd be open for later discussion.

4: You have a license to drive that says you have been reviewed by your local state/government and have shown you have adequate knowledge of how to properly operate a vehicle. You must also show you adequately understand how to use a firearm, that you know what you're getting into when getting married, and knowledge about the job you wish to be paid to do, so why not a test and subsequent licensing for anyone who wishes to vote????? Seriously, this would not require you to change your views nor hamper you from voting at any age but it would require that the potential voter have KNOWLEDGE and UNDERSTANDING of the U.S. Constitution and how the government is meant to work. Of course, this would have to be an amendment as in itself could be viewed as unconstitutional.

5: Scary as this one sounds I have to put it in here in conjunction with item 4--If you LEGALLY hold a job in ANY state at ANY age and are required to pay taxes on your income then YOU SHOULD HAVE A RIGHT TO VOTE in your local elections at a minimum and in federal elections if provided by state law. Of course you would still have to pass the voters licensing test and this would preclude a good portion of them from voting.

6: A way to subvert the possible calamity of allowing millions of 15 year olds access to a ballot (how many write in votes for a boyfriend or the local pop star flavor of the day would we get) I would whole heartedly attempt to implement the Fair Tax or similar system. This would remove the taxation of said teenagers and thereby remove any priviledges they might expect in the vote as they would now no longer be paying income taxes. They would be paying taxes on every item they buy, as would anyone within our borders, and thereby would be making the decisions on how to use their money wisest instead of relying on Congress to spend our money. This would also allow for a minimum age requirement for voting.

7: Limit ALL GOVERNMENTAL posistions at the FEDERAL level to a maximum of 2 consecutive terms and at least 2 terms there after before you could run again for the same posistion. Example: Prez for 8 years, at the end of your term you'd have to wait 8 more years before being considered for the posistion again. If you are elected for a single term you still must wait 8 years before running again. Most importantly this new system affects Congress the most. ALL CAREER POLITICIANS would be required to follow some sort of term limitation also and when in a non term year would have to find some other form of employment outside of of any federal governmental job. Note: This does not affect States rights and thus any former federal politicians could run for any posistion in their state (or any for that matter) unless otherwise stated by the States own laws.

Note: Many of these "solutions" would require solutions of their own!!! One example would be buying back our debt.....And no, I would not be for any tax increase on ANY AMERICAN individual or corporation to accomplish this. Moreso I'd say take funds from inefficient government programs by shutting them down and redirecting those monies to the pay down of the national debt.

Note 2: I do not have enough room for what I'd like to do to our education system other than saying it doesn't work from a federal standpoint but unfortunately the feds are needed.

You asked or things I'd do that we'll probably never see, so here you go!!!!

[Baphomet]

A law that requires that all toilet seats be left in the position they're in after you finish! Women have been bitching forever for men to lower the seat after they use it ... but think about how unfair that is. If you have to raise the seat to piss, then lower it when you are finished then you have had to handle the toilet seat twice! Women on the other hand never have to touch the seat if it is left down all the time.

If the seat is just left the way it is, then worst case scenario anyone would only have to move it into the position they are going to use it in. That's one touch (or maybe no touch), compared to a guaranteed two touch.

[fixthecopier]

In my brave new world, politics is taught the last 4 years of school, all students must take it all 4 years and then political offices would be filled by random selection, just like jury duty. Every office from president to local police chief would be chosen at random and you must serve if called. The country would have to deal with whoever gets the jobs til the 4 years are over. GUESS WHAT, all of a sudden the education system of our country would become a top priority so that we would have a better chance of getting smart leaders, all of our kids would get smarter and our country would prosper because of it.

Short of this happening, we should test the kids we got today, and make it a law that the really stupid ones have to wear orange hats in public so we know who they are.

[Baphomet]

we should test the kids we got today, and make it a law that the really stupid ones have to wear orange hats in public so we know who they are.

You can already tell most of them because they wear their pants UNDER their ass.

[redime]

If I was president...

This country wouldn't be in such a grave state

Vote for me in 2020 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!