What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

[zed255]

Not a dumb comment but a nice break from them. Bout a month back I was replacing the laser in an ARM450 at the county offices had just got it all apart and pulled the laser out when the sheriff walks in with some papers looks at me, says "Well that answers my question." turns and walks off. was such a relief to not have to answer the always present "can i make a quick copy".

I know that all to well. I'm up to my armpit in a machine with more of the machine's guts on the table and floor around me than in the unit and get the question all the time. I once retorted "If you arrived at the garage where you get your car serviced and found the engine lying outside the car and the mechanic under the hood would you expect to be able to drive it away?", and surprisingly didn't get to have a little chat with my manager. I guess some things that seen so obvious to we technicians are maybe not so obvious to someone not in the know.

[Dark Helmet]

"Just one?" =^..^=

I was doing a transfer belt PM on a MX3100 and fuser rebuild. Some dip shit cook walked in and asked if he could make a quick copy. I said sure and went back to work. He just stood there confused. Then i said no you can't and then he walked away.

You could say i was trying to stir the pot.

[prntrfxr]

"Can I make a quick copy?"

That one did used to get on my nerves when I was a field tech. Once when I told an end-user no, she said, "What am I supposed to do then? I need to make a copy." So I told her to use the fax machine to her right. "But I don't need to fax it." So I proceeded to tell her how to make a copy from the fax machine. "That sounds complicated, I'll just wait." So she stood there right behind me while I finished the copier maintenance. Every 3 seconds, I could hear her sigh because she had to wait. Finally I could take it no longer and just broke into uncontrolled laughter. It made me feel a lot better, but I can't say it helped her mood. She angrily asked me what was so funny. I told her I just thought of something that happened to me earlier that was funny. She rolled her eyes at me and sighed some more. I used her documents to test the machine and left. Sometimes you just got to laugh or you'll end up killing someone or losing your mind.

[aodtech]

"There are too many copies on the machine" - This was a brand new CS-3050 out of box with a meter of 0. Three weeks later, it's up to 15,000 at a Police Station. I told the lady that somebody must be making lots of copies when you are not here. I even showed her a Maintenance Report when the machine was installed which was at 50. But she still wouldn't believe me.

Had a customer complain that the fax on their refurb KM-C3225 wasn't working. So I printed out a log to see the outgoing jobs. Turns out I needed to give them a period of instruction on HOW TO DIAL A NUMBER. Some where dialed long distance with a 1, then a 9, then the area code and number. Some without the 9, some long distance without the 1 and so on. Bear in mind this was a drug rehab facility. I guess I know what they were doing with all the addicts excess "stashes".

"Machine is too slow" - Customer upgraded from an RI-3530 to CS-3060. Take that complaint up with sales, not service. Apparently that extra 5ppm makes the biggest difference in the world. On another occasion I had to explain to this customer that you can't send a fax and receive a fax at the same time because the phone line is... get this, OCCUPIED.

[Dalamar]

I once had a customer ask if we had a copier that used less paper.

/thread

[nmfaxman]

Do all computers have this help program?
I kid you not.

[fixthecopier]

One of my customers told me about one that happened years ago. The printer said "Change PC", they did not know what to do so they called the I.T. dept who changed the PC, which to them was the computer, when that did not work, they got a new printer.

[vincent64]

I know that all to well. I'm up to my armpit in a machine with more of the machine's guts on the table and floor around me than in the unit and get the question all the time. I once retorted "If you arrived at the garage where you get your car serviced and found the engine lying outside the car and the mechanic under the hood would you expect to be able to drive it away?", and surprisingly didn't get to have a little chat with my manager. I guess some things that seen so obvious to we technicians are maybe not so obvious to someone not in the know.

I think its obvious to them, they just running around the office so much, and pay so little attention to the world around them, they never notice when we techs are there working or any one else for that matter, and now that machines can print too, they just run, grab there job and scurry back to there fabric covered kennel.

[prntrfxr]

I think its obvious to them, they just running around the office so much, and pay so little attention to the world around them, they never notice when we techs are there working or any one else for that matter, and now that machines can print too, they just run, grab there job and scurry back to there fabric covered kennel.

I think it's amazing when they lean over you and try to make a copy when half your body is in the machine...

[alpha-omega tech]

I had a customer at a bank in Florida pour fuser oil in the toner hopper. What a mess. I guess if they dont know how to keep the bank doors open they surely cant run a copier.

[Vulkor]

I think it's amazing when they lean over you and try to make a copy when half your body is in the machine...

Always nice when its a nice looking woman. Well if you are a man. Otherwise a bit odd.

[tommygun]

for me the best is whenever i go to a place with a nice looking lady(s) and 1 guy, and im fixing the copier and the guy walks past and tries to show off infront of the girls and says stupid things like, 'i would of fixed that by now' or 'you back again or still here from last time'. most annoying customers ever

[Shadow1]

for me the best is whenever i go to a place with a nice looking lady(s) and 1 guy, and im fixing the copier and the guy walks past and tries to show off infront of the girls and says stupid things like, 'i would of fixed that by now...

I had one of those. I didn't say a word, but I handed him my screwdriver. My manager might not have liked it so much, but the ladies in the office sure did... on second thought, my manager probably would have backed me up in this case as well.

[prntrfxr]

The pretty girls probably don't think badly of you, tommygun. Remember they're the ones that have to work with that jerk everyday.

I do like Shadow's suggestion of handing him the screwdriver. It certainly would make me laugh at the jerk, instead of with him.

[Voltage]

I just say "Only on public holidays!"