Funny stories I tell customers

[Copier Addict]

Re: Ignition!

Circa 1996 I was repairing a Sharp copier at an industrial location. Adjacent to my machine was a medium size shredder. An employee ran a few items through the shredder, and I could hear it asking, no, SCREAMING for lubrication. Being a hero, I retrieved a spray can of silicone lubricant from my vehicle. I started the shredder, and gave it a good healthy dose, which promptly ignited. No problem! There is a fire extinguisher - I only needed to reach through the wall of flame to grab it. Plan B - a large blast of bad breath at close range, and the flames were quashed.
But not the stinking, smouldering mess in the exit bin.
I carried the bin outside, and dumped the contents on the pavement, and started to dance on it.
Not good - it melted onto my rubber soles. Fifteen feet away was a hose bib, without a hose.
It took several mouthfuls of water sprayed on the mess to fully extinguish it. Returning from the fresh air, I was keenly aware of the stench inside the building.
DO NOT touch equipment that is not your responsibility!
...Lorenzo

That's a great lesson.

[tonerhead]

Re: Funny stories I tell customers

With the machine is pieces parts replacing a main drive motor..

Customer: Damn that's a lot of parts. Are you going to be able to put it back together...?

Me: Gee, for your sake, I sure hope so

Customer: confused look and mumbling as they walk away

Every time I hear that from a customer, I respond by saying....."ya know, somebody described you to a tee and said you wanted to put it back together so I could take the rest of the day off"

[avecosat]

Re: Funny stories I tell customers

Yes, it is the same everywhere

[tonerhead]

Re: Funny stories I tell customers

Years ago I had a customer that all of the other techs dreaded going to. This guy would greet you at the door, take you to the copier, and stayed to watch everything you did to the copier. This made alot of techs (including me) super nervous. Finally one day, I asked him if he was interested in replacing parts with me. I handed him the screwdriver and guided him through the process as well as going into service mode to reset counters. He was fine doing it and seemed genuinely interested. Upon leaving, I told him our company had an opening for a tech if he was interested in pursuing it. He just laughed and said he wasn't planning on switching careers. Interesting thing. After that he always met me at the door, showed me to the copier, and left me alone. The other guys he still stayed and watched them do the repairs.

[Copier Addict]

Re: Funny stories I tell customers

Years ago I had a customer that all of the other techs dreaded going to. This guy would greet you at the door, take you to the copier, and stayed to watch everything you did to the copier. This made alot of techs (including me) super nervous. Finally one day, I asked him if he was interested in replacing parts with me. I handed him the screwdriver and guided him through the process as well as going into service mode to reset counters. He was fine doing it and seemed genuinely interested. Upon leaving, I told him our company had an opening for a tech if he was interested in pursuing it. He just laughed and said he wasn't planning on switching careers. Interesting thing. After that he always met me at the door, showed me to the copier, and left me alone. The other guys he still stayed and watched them do the repairs.

Just one more reinforcement of the saying "It costs nothing to be nice" Well done tonerhead.

[tsbservice]

Re: Ignition!

Circa 1996 I was repairing a Sharp copier at an industrial location. Adjacent to my machine was a medium size shredder. An employee ran a few items through the shredder, and I could hear it asking, no, SCREAMING for lubrication. Being a hero, I retrieved a spray can of silicone lubricant from my vehicle. I started the shredder, and gave it a good healthy dose, which promptly ignited. No problem! There is a fire extinguisher - I only needed to reach through the wall of flame to grab it. Plan B - a large blast of bad breath at close range, and the flames were quashed.
But not the stinking, smouldering mess in the exit bin.
I carried the bin outside, and dumped the contents on the pavement, and started to dance on it.
Not good - it melted onto my rubber soles. Fifteen feet away was a hose bib, without a hose.
It took several mouthfuls of water sprayed on the mess to fully extinguish it. Returning from the fresh air, I was keenly aware of the stench inside the building.
DO NOT touch equipment that is not your responsibility!
...Lorenzo

Dude you're next O. Henry BRILLIANT!

[emujo2]

Re: Funny stories I tell customers

Years ago, I walked into an office and when asked I said I'm here for the copy machine...The receptionist said OMG thanks, the owner is having a breakdown over this and let him know I was here. He asked for me to wait and he would escort me...I was met with a ton of screaming about you're the 3rd guy here this week, and it hasn't worked for 5 min the entire time, I'm ready to push it in the street (ect ect). I apologize for the problem and say I was not given any warning this was a continuing issue, but I hope to get you running ASAP..Meanwhile we've walked to the other side of the building to the kitchen and he says "last chance to get this POS fixed"..and points to the coffee machine...5 min and a feed roller set later, I'm out the door, as I get to hear him screaming at the receptionist....

Another really strange one was when I went to a school to help a principle get his MAC printing to one of our devices..The admin says copy guy is here..He shouts back (to everyone in the office including parents).."tell him to give me 5 min to clear all of this porn off my computer". He was fired the next day.

Not really copier related, but I was in an elevator with a copier to deliver, and these 2 big ole boys got on with me..The lift went up about 2 flights then started groaning, then stopped between floors. I was stuck for about 2 hours with Billy and Joe Bob in a elevator designed for maybe 5 people. That was unpleasant E

[Robinh]

Re: Funny stories I tell customers

Back in the Mita days I replaced a power supply in a DC 2285. Tech before had cut off the tie strap off one of the wires so the connector could reach wrong spot on board. There were 2 connectors the same...I turned machine on and heard a loud pop and black smoke puffed out the back of the machine. Upon inspecting it, found the 5v out was plugged into the 24v out. It blew the track right off the board. I soldered wire in place and repaired onsite. Then a week later Mita sent a bulletin out to warn techs about this...LOL

I worked on a Minolta EP450Z and some tech before me replaced the thermal fuse in the fuser assy, with a nail.

I was in the shop one day, and a new tech was replacing the thermocouple on a segment one Konica, I forget the model. He asked me if it mattered which wire went where? I said, YES!

He had forgotten to note the wiring when he removed the thermocouple, so he asked the shop supervisor, who assumed it was a thermistor, and nota thermocouple. So the new tech just popped it in, and ignored my advice. He went to go wash his hands and when he got back, the upper fuser roller was so hot, it was actually melting the aluminum.

I still laugh at him about that story when I run into, even though he's one of Ikon's top color techs these days. ;-)

[Robinh]

Re: Funny stories I tell customers

I'm really loving these stories, I wish I had time to respond to everyone who's posted. Please keep em coming.

What's the weirdest place you ever went to fix a copier?

I had a Konica on State Contract at the Maximum Security Prison in Sekiu Washington. The copier was in the infirmary, and they had to lead me through the courtyard, where the inmates made wolf calls at me.

Once in the infirmary, I noticed some red lines painted on the floor. I asked what the lines were for, and they said that inmates were supposed to stay behind the lines. Just then guard comes in with an inmate, who's hands were cuffed behind his back, and looked like he'd been in a fight. The guard pushed him toward a chair and said "SIT DOWN". The inmate refused to sit, so the guard, grabbed him, and threw him, face down, on the floor. With his hands behind his back, his face splattered blood all over the floor, and two more guard rushed in, all three began whooping on him with their nightsticks.

This is all going on, just three feet away from me, working on the copier.

[slimslob]

Re: Funny stories I tell customers

I'm really loving these stories, I wish I had time to respond to everyone who's posted. Please keep em coming.

What's the weirdest place you ever went to fix a copier?

I had a Konica on State Contract at the Maximum Security Prison in Sekiu Washington. The copier was in the infirmary, and they had to lead me through the courtyard, where the inmates made wolf calls at me.

Once in the infirmary, I noticed some red lines painted on the floor. I asked what the lines were for, and they said that inmates were supposed to stay behind the lines. Just then guard comes in with an inmate, who's hands were cuffed behind his back, and looked like he'd been in a fight. The guard pushed him toward a chair and said "SIT DOWN". The inmate refused to sit, so the guard, grabbed him, and threw him, face down, on the floor. With his hands behind his back, his face splattered blood all over the floor, and two more guard rushed in, all three began whooping on him with their nightsticks.

This is all going on, just three feet away from me, working on the copier.

At one time I serviced most of the copiers at Tehachapi State Prison. They had all levels. Two levels of minimum security, one level of medium and two levels of maximum. Each level had multiple machines. There were also machines scattered about the rest of the "campus" like the visitors center had, the fire department,the mail room, in service training, inmate gang unit, inmate drug unit, records, accounting had 2 and there were a number of warehouses. The only time I had to be escorted was the first time to some of the machines so I would know where to find each.

[copiertec]

Re: Funny stories I tell customers

I'm really loving these stories, I wish I had time to respond to everyone who's posted. Please keep em coming.

What's the weirdest place you ever went to fix a copier?

I had a Konica on State Contract at the Maximum Security Prison in Sekiu Washington. The copier was in the infirmary, and they had to lead me through the courtyard, where the inmates made wolf calls at me.

Once in the infirmary, I noticed some red lines painted on the floor. I asked what the lines were for, and they said that inmates were supposed to stay behind the lines. Just then guard comes in with an inmate, who's hands were cuffed behind his back, and looked like he'd been in a fight. The guard pushed him toward a chair and said "SIT DOWN". The inmate refused to sit, so the guard, grabbed him, and threw him, face down, on the floor. With his hands behind his back, his face splattered blood all over the floor, and two more guard rushed in, all three began whooping on him with their nightsticks.

This is all going on, just three feet away from me, working on the copier.

We had a copier at a funeral home, apparently, before this person was cremated they had a viewing. They put the body on a forklift, I swear that body must have set for a day or so being stored in the garage or something because I caught a whiff of it as it passed by me a I was walking in to service the copier....WOW, I will never forget that smell!! Oddly enough, the grounds person that was operating the fork lift was holding his breakfast sandwich in one hand and eating as he was toting this body to the crematorium as if the smell was nothing to him.

[slimslob]

Re: Funny stories I tell customers

We had a copier at a funeral home, apparently, before this person was cremated they had a viewing. They put the body on a forklift, I swear that body must have set for a day or so being stored in the garage or something because I caught a whiff of it as it passed by me a I was walking in to service the copier....WOW, I will never forget that smell!! Oddly enough, the grounds person that was operating the fork lift was holding his breakfast sandwich in one hand and eating as he was toting this body to the crematorium as if the smell was nothing to him.

Are you sure you weren't smelling his sandwich. I have worked on equipment in a number of mortuaries and never noticed an odor. Even had to install a phone in the prep room once while there was a body on the slab ready to be prepped.

[tonerhead]

Re: Funny stories I tell customers

Reading the last couple posts, I've got a couple more stories to tell.

First one.

I had delivered a new copier, did the networking, operator training, etc. All was good. Got back to the office 10 minutes later and the dispatcher called me into her area. She said what happened at the customers? The owner was ranting at her over the phone, every other word was a curse word, you better send that worthless tech back here who installed it, I want to lay into him. So I go back, the owner starts in on me at the door and wouldn't let up. The #$#%#@ document feeder jams constantly, I haven't been able to feed a single sheet through the %$#%#. Do you know how much I paid for this piece of $#^%. You must be really incompetent ^%$^$ if you delivered it without making sure it works. On and on and on as we are walking to the copier. As we got to the copier he is still ranting at me. I noticed someone taped a sticky note over the length sensor on the feeder that said feed face up. I grabbed a sheet of blank paper out of the paper tray wrote "test" on it. I put it in the feeder, removed the sticky note. I said the following to the owner, "this sticky note someone put here is covering a sensor that is why it is jamming". I hit the start button and walked out without even watching it finish making a copy. I knew it would. Got back to office and told manager that I walked out on guy as he was being unreasonable. Manager just laughed, said he would have likely done the same.

This next one didn't happen to me, but to a coworker working at the State Penitentiary. He said he was working on the copier in the place and had an armed guard along with. The copier was in an area where there were prisoners coming and going. The prisoners would come and go say hi, ask about sports, etc. He said he had a big teardown of the copier, lots of parts all over. While he was head deep in the copier all of sudden he heard the sound of the shotgun loading. Then he heard the guard's voice say "Henry, now why don't you put this gentleman's screwdriver back where you found it"

Speaking of armed guards, have you ever tried servicing a copier in the counting room of a gambling casino? Some of these guys can be real jerks. I understand the need for security, lots of money stacked around. There are cameras all round and you need to walk through 2 or 3 security doors to even get to the room. Jerk #1 searched through all my tools then came to my vacuum. He wanted me to empty the filter cuz I might have a weapon in the toner. I laughed and handed him the filter, I said there is a trash can over there, you empty it and I will laugh my ass off while you are doing it, and I will not clean up after you. He hands me back the filter and says I guess it doesn't feel heavy enough to house a weapon. Right.....you bet you butt. Jerk #2. You can't go into counting room wearing a coat. So I take my coat off like I normally do. In the past I was given permission to leave my coat in the area between the security doors. Jerk#2 wouldn't let me do that he told me to leave it on a chair beside a slot machine. As if. I told him to contact the supervisor about my coat, he declined. So I started walking towards the exit. "Where you going? What about the copier?" I told him he would have to explain that to his supervisor why the copier isn't getting fixed. He radioed the supervisor and my coat stayed in the area between the security doors just like I told him. Arrogant turd. He didn't last long there either.

[tonerhead]

Re: Funny stories I tell customers

I've worked at two businesses now who have bosses that let the employees burn off a little steam now and then. One of the funniest things I have ever beheld was an after work spur of the moment party. The boss fired up the grill, threw on some burgers and there were some beers in the cooler. Those days we had a forklift that could get up around 30 in the air. Well the boss loaded up a big old console on the forklift, fired up the VanHalen and raised that SOB as high as the forklift would go over a rolloff. He started saying lets see how this bad boy will dance. He had it bouncing on the forklift until it did a high dive into the dumpster. Man it was like it exploded in there. Everyone was laughing and cheering. I think everyone left with a smile on their face that night.

Another time after work a group of techs asked the boss for an old copier to dispose of. They put it in a delivery van and piled in. They took it out of town and used it for target practice. Wish I could have been there for that one. That kept the troops smiling for a while. Any time there was a tough repair somewhere, someone was bound to say "I think we took the wrong copier out of town, it should have been this one"

Aaaahhhh, good memories.

[Debs1964]

Re: Funny stories I tell customers

Years ago I had a customer local to me with, I think, a Xerox 1038, the copier had a very intermittent fault with the DF, that myself and a colleague were trying to get to the bottom of, it only happened about once a week, and a reboot would clear it.
Anyway, after we had replaced every conceivable part, there was only the wiring loom to go, so I ordered the loom and set about replacing it. There I was at the rear of the copier with, what looked like, a mass of spaghetti hanging off it, when one of the male managers walked in, looked at me and asked if I knew what I was doing, so I calmly replied that I thought I'd been thrown in the deep end, that I'd only been with the company a week, and that this was my first call on my own. He went white and walked slowly out of the office. The women in the office all burst out laughing because we all knew he would not have asked that question if I had been a man.
Oh, and the wiring loom fixed it