The salesman said what?

[TheOwl]

This is one a sales guy told me about while trying to up grade a machine over the phone.

Sales: I would really like to come out and do a site assesment for your copying needs.
Customer: That would be really great but I am going on holidays for month, but I'll call you when I get back.
Sales: Sure, that would be great. How about I call you instead though just in case you forget?
Customer: Is that some kind of f@$king joke?
Customer promptly slams the phone down.

Our sales guy was a bit dumb founded by what had just happened until it clicked that he was talking to a customer from the Alzheimer's Association.

[schooltech]

Holy shit!!!!!!! Now THAT is hilarious!!!!

It sounds like those regular sales meetings are going very well.

[nmfaxman]

Put a penny on the pick up roller shaft and tell the sales man it needed a twenty dollar bill because of the ink on a twenty is more dense than a one dollar bill.

Can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with BS.

[KenB]

The customer tells the salesman that they have had many unique printing and / or scanning issues, and they're concerned that the new MFPs may have the same problems.

The salesman says: "Don't worry, Mr. Customer! Our guys have seen it all, and can handle any situation!"

He / she doesn't even bother to tell us about it before the installation date.

Then they have the NERVE to ask us after the horrid installation: "Hey, how'd it go at XYZ Company?"

I have amassed an impressive collection of voodoo dolls, just for these types of occasions...

[nmfaxman]

How about the sales-scum that told the customer that EP on a Minolta meant Every Paper?

Having a customer not believe the OP manual, in BLACK AND WHITE, because the salesman said it would.

Going out to a customer just to get a meter reading, (because the salesman said he would), and he is out playing golf.

Don't even get me started about a simple site survey. Will the machine fit where they want it, BIG MISTAKE!

[mrwho]

Site surveys... right... Like the time a colleague of mine went to install a fax on a customer, and the line extension was on the other side of the HOUSE and the customer wanted us to install a new extension to the room where the fax was staying?

Yeah... site surveys... right...

[Star]

I know! Isn't that odd? We sell a machine, go to install it, and suddenly we are expected to be electrical and cabling contractors.

Makes me sick at the obsurd expectations of some.

[schooltech]

We, as a department, would "charge" back the salesperson for either our extra time for a weird install, or the electrician/wiring contractor would be billed against the salesperson's COGS, so his GP would obviously be reduced, and that was a smaller commission check. UH OH!!

Salespeople did NOT like that, but hey, neither did we!!! After a few staff meetings (sales AND service in the meetings) we were closer to being on the same page. It was never 100%, but communication did improve and the customer would think that an untrained monkey could not be able to do our jobs; at least we looked like we knew what we were doing.

[Lagonda]

How do they keep their jobs?

I just wandered into the showroom and one of the trainee salesmen is standing in front of our flagship colour copier looking rather dumbfounded. Out of politeness I ask him if I can help and he says he has been sent to do some sample copies for a customer but cant seem to get anything to happen. Intrigued I go and have a look and point out to him that nothing was likely to happen until he turned it on!
He then starts pressing the print button and when that didnt work he went around the back and turned the power point off and on several times.
I then pointed out the big red switch on the side and if he pushed that magic things would happen!

The point of this rambles is how the hell do you expect to sell a complex copier when you cant even get basic copy out of it, would you buy a car from a salesman that didn't even know where the ignition key fitted?

[fixthecopier]

I had sold a new bizhub copier to a construction company, and one of the salesmen saw the deal on the bosses desk and squalled about them being old customers of his. So he gets two thirds of the money to do nothing. Well he really did do nothing, not even checking his new deal. The shop built the machine with a fax kit that was not part of the sale, did not charge for it and sent me out to remove it in front of the customer. I also had to do the demo.

[Stirton.M]

this says it alll

[GUNit]

good old salesman

many years ago we swapped out a canon 400 that was shot. expecting to ditch this beast at the nearest dump you can imagine my surprise when the salesman said he had sold it. ok i thought give me a week or so to try and breath a little bit of life into the thing but oh no we were on our way there now fresh from just picking it up. bearing in mind the site was a school the dem wasnt going all that well when the headmaster asked what the paper clip holder was for only he didnt use the term paper clip holder he didnt know what it was. well said the salesman if you ever need a technician to come to the machine just touch that and an ultrasonic signal will be sent out and the technician will know exactly where to come. standing in the background was me mouth wide open almost feeling the heart attack coming over me. the guy bought the machine but two days later was on the phone saying ive been pressing the button and no-one has shown up. have a guess which idiot had to break the news that his hi tec button was a paperclip tray... yep you guessed it me...... not to mention the weight of those things when uplifting it that afternoon. salesman you gotta love em.this is 100% true

[mascan42]

What's the point of filling out long and complex installation forms if the only accurate information is the customer's address?

[fixthecopier]

What's the point of filling out long and complex installation forms if the only accurate information is the customer's address?

That is good info to have. I had to deliver a copier to a location one and a half hours away. When I got there it was an empty house in a public housing complex [ getto ]. When I called the shop and ask WTF?, they told me we had moved their old copier 3 years ago, and I should have known where it was.

[Shadow1]

Our company policy is that a sales order cannot be processed until a completed site survey is turned in with the order. That being said, I've still never seen even a partial site survey.