people

[tweek65]

the machine is jammin up its been doing it since you were he last.hhmm i was here 6 months ago 50000 copies made and only been 5 jams recorded. And you find nothing wrong with the machine.

[Eric1968]

I know what you mean. I also have customers complaining about paper jams, when there were only a few jams in 50.000 copies.

I also have customers who say that the machine jams 20 times a day, and I can't find one single jam in the logging data.

[Brian8506]

I let people know that I can tell THEM what day and time it jammed, where it jammed, why it jammed, and what they had for breakfast. That cuts down on the exaggeration.

[10871087]

I let people know that I can tell THEM what day and time it jammed, where it jammed, why it jammed, and what they had for breakfast. That cuts down on the exaggeration.

When will people learn that their machines are much smarter the they are, I love laying the jam logs down in front of them and watching them squirm.

[pepper38_cnd]

The severity of the breakdown is directly proportional to the anxiety of the operator.

[laserman06]

The severity of the breakdown is directly proportional to the anxiety of the operator.

I have proof of that. I went to a new customer and right above the old copier was a sign that said the following..

Copier Warning!

This machine is subject to breakdown during periods of critical need.

A special circuit in the machine called a "critical detector" senses the operator's emotional state in terms of how desperate he or she is to use this machine. The "critical detector" then creates a malfunction proportional to the desperation of the operator. Threatening the machine with violence will only aggravate the situation. Likewise, attempts to use another machine may cause it to also malfunction. (They belong to the same union.) Keep cool and say nice things to the machine. Nothing else seems to work. Never let anything mechanical know you are in a hurry.

I have thought about putting this sign above all my machines.

[Shadow1]

I used to have a stack of stuff like that back in the days of analog machines. I used them to test doc feeders and finishers - my customers loved them.

I had a customer itching to get a new machine, so I got a lot of calls where stuff was intentionally broken, and false reports of jamming. At one point they saved all the jams that had supposedly occured in their machine, which were quite obviously just balled up paper. I really enjoyed the look on the customer's face as I printed out the logging data and showed them where the machine was going 15 - 20k between jams. Just to drive the nails home, I made a point of scanning the report to my email and told them "My manager wanted to put a copy of this in our records..."

The problems stopped instantly. Not sure if they bought a new copier from us, but they were costing us so much money from B.S. like this that giving their business away would be a pretty effective torpedo to the competition.

[rh112]

Had customer who called ever time they tried to print got message printer offline When I arrived printed ok with my laptop lady who placed call had left for afternoon told them everything was fine First thing next morning call with same issue When I arrived lady who was having problems was very upset she still could not print to copier When I showed her it printed fine from my laptop she still insists it was copier issue Since we are not responsible for network issues at this location I waited until IT showed up to look at issue I was in next room but could hear conservation IT was having with this Lady

IT show me issue you are having
Lady every time I send anything to copier I get this message
IT do you select correct printer
Lady I have never had to select printer before
(They also have HP printer in same room as copier and small
printer at each desk)
IT then how does computer know where you want print job sent to
Lady

IT person came it to copy room and was ready to bang his head on wall the small printer at her desk was offline and was her default printer

[prntrfxr]

people

I agree, sometimes it is not a legitimate problem.

We had a customer that had 500+ cubicles on the on one of their 5 floors (1 printer per 2 workers - accounting floor). The customer company decided to go with Lexmark (we did both) for their printing, as the machines needed to be upgraded and Lexmark's were cheaper.

Our service calls after the install went through the roof and they were brand new machines. After 3 times of "No Problem Found" for the same problem, the company would call and give my boss a hard time. We finally found out why. It seems Lexmark's were noisier and some of the workers were partial to their HP's. It was mass rebellion because they wanted their old machines back. In some cases we made cases for the Lexmark's by telling the end-users that they were faster than their older HP's. Some of them would still not accept it and complained very loudly to their management. Resolution: customer company replaced the Lexmark's with new upgraded HP's for those that complained the loudest. We had to double up on the parts when we did service calls in that building since half was HP and the other half were Lexmark.

The Lexmark's we picked back up, that we were unable to resell, ended up our loaner printers. Which was really good because they are about 90% plastic and someone (end-user) was always breaking the frames.

[Lagonda]

Then they whinge about the continual copy quality problems so you ask them for an example and after 10 min they cant find one!

[mjarbar]

I think they are at their worst when they whinge, bitch and moan about you doing test copies with a test chart, but when you ask them if they have anything they need copying or printing they can't find a thing - especially if they say the call is mega urgent as they have stuff they need to send out!!

[TJ001]

People (poepol)

I had a customer that was complaining about constant paper jams on his Gestetner DSm 622. After my one techy's was there 3 times and could'nt find anything wrong, i went there and showed the customer the report that has no jam logs on. I explained to the him that the copier take a pic of the person opening the front door everytime they remove a paperjam. We never had a complain from him again. Sometime it takes a little BS to shut a customer up.

[Koosie]

"The copier never jams when your here!" - Famous quote

I installed a machine at a customer that was faster than the previous one, and the drum lasts 10,000 copies longer. Few months later they complained that the new machine was slower the the previous one, and the drum doesn't lasts as long!

"The machine never worked since your last visit" - Famous quote #2