tech support hold hell

[prntrfxr]

Re: tech support hold hell

I sat in front of a tech buddy of mine that called HP. I was roaring laughing as it took the poor guy 40 min to actually get the right department. For some reason the voice identification software couldn't recognize what he was saying when he said "Laserjet" and it kept sending him to "Plotters" (as if those two words are even remotely similar).

[Hemlock]

Re: tech support hold hell

Kyocera Mita: "Try replacing the main board".
For *everything*; paper jam, pcq, coffee on the keyboard.

Oce: "Have you looked at page x, y or z in the manual?"
Bitch, the reason I'm calling is I've looked at every manual, bulletin, white paper and tech note and it ain't there.

Those phone jockeys need to be rotated out into the real world every other year.

[mojorolla]

Re: tech support hold hell

Kyocera Mita: "Try replacing the main board".
For *everything*; paper jam, pcq, coffee on the keyboard.

Oce: "Have you looked at page x, y or z in the manual?"
Bitch, the reason I'm calling is I've looked at every manual, bulletin, white paper and tech note and it ain't there.

Those phone jockeys need to be rotated out into the real world every other year.

Lexmark is the same way, "replace the main board" or "replace the entire option". Not to mention all the firmware. Levels 1 and 2 are in India; always a test of patience. I also love all the simple American names....Bob, Suzy, or Mike and then when you get Bobs email addy it something like vishnaharibubacontoboogabooga@lexmark.com. Thanx Bob.

[HenryT2]

Re: tech support hold hell

" If it was the Philippines the accent was "tagalog" not Spanish. Actually that accent isn't as difficult to follow as the Alabama dialect I heard the other day. I'm still wondering what most of that conversation was about. =^..^= "

" Well , gis hush my mouth BC . I gis don't know whut u meeen . " HAHA , oops I meant lol

We do have a unique dialect in some parts of the SOUTH ( SOUTH being said with PRIDE ) , some of us do try to speak correctly , and coherently ; well , sometimes . There are times we do have to pour on the Southern charm , ( TV and Movie style that is ) like in Gone With The Wind . All regions have different dialects , Ya ? My wife's family , in and around Grand Rapids loved to hear our Southern Drawl , and we liked the Dutch inflections when visiting up there. SO ALL IS GOOD IN THE WORLD !

I'm sorry .. I digressed .

None of us like to be on hold . The 'while on hold demonic noise ', ( I really meant to say ' the background music ' ) is enough to cause anyone to become irate . If these HELP site managers would actually listen to the " recorded for quality purposes only " interactions with the " HELPER " and the tech on-site calling in , perhaps they would try to handle the calls in a better fashion . WHAT !!!!! NAH IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN . They may even get bonuses for being rude .
I did have a nice conversation with a young girl in India , about one of my CISCO units at home . She wanted me to be sure that my PC would actually connect to the internet. So I loaded the weather for our area. She asked me to TRY to be certain it was working , so I asked her what her zip code was so I could verify my connectivity , and tell her what her weather was . She laughed and said " OK never mind , I think you can connect now . The call was much easier after that .

Hey, it only took an hour .

[charm5496]

Re: tech support hold hell

aren't all the tech support people for HP and Lexmark named Bob?!?!?!

I love calling Samsung and getting support over in Korea you can hear them talking in the background trying to figure how to say what they are trying to tell me in English.

[fixthecopier]

Re: tech support hold hell

Outside of Detroit is a place called "ACME" tool and die. When I worked in steel we did business with them. Whenever I had to call them about something, when the girl would answer, I would tell her I was calling to order some of those rocket powered roller skates like I saw on the Road Runner cartoon. She would hang up on me and make me call back.

[KenB]

Re: tech support hold hell

Outside of Detroit is a place called "ACME" tool and die. When I worked in steel we did business with them. Whenever I had to call them about something, when the girl would answer, I would tell her I was calling to order some of those rocket powered roller skates like I saw on the Road Runner cartoon. She would hang up on me and make me call back.

Years ago, my uncle was an engineer at a company called "National Acme" in Cleveland.

The jokes and gags were endless.

[CompyTech]

Re: tech support hold hell

My favorite thing was when they would have that recording that said "Your call is important. please stay on the line.. A Solutions Support Engineer will be with you to assist you shortly." If it was so important why am I waiting two hours?

I actually had a guy apologize for that once, and he actually helped me solve a problem.

[Zackuth]

Re: tech support hold hell

Don't start me on tech nonsupport!!!! Over the years, with different companies, I have learned to dread any call to a support service. Reciently, I had some problems with a fax unit, the model was changed from version 1 to version 2. I called support (at my manager's insistance) and was told that according to the tech bulletin, that unit should work. ??????? Another time, after a few unsuccessful attempts at installing a data security kit (and an hour's wait), I was told that they don't sell data security kits for that model ("Yes you do, I'm trying to install it now!!!!").

[gwaddle]

Re: tech support hold hell



I actually had a guy apologize for that once, and he actually helped me solve a problem.[/QUOTE]

I bet they fired him.

[fixthecopier]

Re: tech support hold hell

On the other side, Muratec faxes has great support.

[ddude]

Re: tech support hold hell

On the other side, Muratec faxes has great support.

YES!!! Probably the best that I have experienced.

[pacman]

Re: tech support hold hell

Samsung likes to transfer you around. First here, wait wait wait, get someone who couldn't find his ass with both hands, transferred there, wait wait wait, second person can find his ass but no clue about your problem, third transfer, wait wait, call dropped. Start all over again ...

By the time I actually get a knowledgeable human I'm so unspeakably pissed, I can hardly be civil to the person. I usually start the conversation with how much I really hate their call handling method, and how it really isn't about you personally ...

Arrggghhh! My jaw is clenching already just thinking about it. =^..^=

Oh come on now....they're getting better, aren't they? (At least that's what I heard...........hehehehe) They can follow a flowchart now. The one GREAT guy they had working there isn't there anymore unfortunately. There are now just a handful (two or three) that are pretty decent and can give me some solid answers.

That's why I stick to calling the RSM's or engineers for now.

Kyocera Mita: "Try replacing the main board".
For *everything*; paper jam, pcq, coffee on the keyboard.

Oce: "Have you looked at page x, y or z in the manual?"
Bitch, the reason I'm calling is I've looked at every manual, bulletin, white paper and tech note and it ain't there.

Those phone jockeys need to be rotated out into the real world every other year.

Got one to add to this list:

Samsung - "Have you tried updating the firmware? What version are you running? Oh, we just got a new version last Friday. Have you gotten it from the website? Oh, it's not actually ON the website?"

blackcat can probably back me up on that one.....

[Lagonda]

Re: tech support hold hell

[QUOTE=pacman;240556]"Have you tried updating the firmware? What version are you running? Oh, we just got a new version last Friday. Have you gotten it from the website? Oh, it's not actually ON the website?"QUOTE]



So you muck around for an hour down loading the firmware from the web then up load it to the copier and only then do you read the release notes that came with it only to discover the reason it was released was to fix a spelling mistake in Serbo-Croat, nothing else!!!!!!

[pacman]

Re: tech support hold hell

[QUOTE=Lagonda;240558]

"Have you tried updating the firmware? What version are you running? Oh, we just got a new version last Friday. Have you gotten it from the website? Oh, it's not actually ON the website?"QUOTE]



So you muck around for an hour down loading the firmware from the web then up load it to the copier and only then do you read the release notes that came with it only to discover the reason it was released was to fix a spelling mistake in Serbo-Croat, nothing else!!!!!!

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! YES!

99% of FW upgrades on any given product are just that anyhow.