[Funny] For us older techs

[ZOOTECH]

EMPLOYEE NOTICE

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the
economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of
50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus
creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

This scheme will be known as RAPE ( Retire Aged People Early ).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered
for the SHAFT program ( Special Help After Forced Termination ).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the
SCREW program ( System Covering Retired-Early Workers ).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as
Congress deems appropriate..

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS ( Additional Income for
Dependents & Spouse ) or HERPES ( Half Earnings for Retired personnel
Early Severance ).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or
SCREWED any further by Congress.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT
( Special High Intensity Training ) as possible. Congress has always
prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT , please bring
this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to
give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,

The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives ( E.V.I.L. )

PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as
current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.

[fixthecopier]

Re: For us older techs

I guess I won't be getting RAPED any time soon, as I have been given SHIT on a regular basis for years,

[Ianizer]

questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T.).

Thank you,
BOSS IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)

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-I