You think English is easy?

[gwaddle]

Re: You think English is easy?

Nope, it's pronounced Norfolk. It's just the inbreds that failed Hooked On Phonics that throw in the errant r sound.

Actually the original name of the town was Norfork. When the town applied for a post office way back when, some "inbred that failed Hooked on Phonics" that worked at the postal service in your town decided that Norfork couldn't be right so he changed it to Norfolk. So they just left it that way rather than go through all the red tape to change it back. But they did continue to pronounce it the right way.

[Lagonda]

Re: You think English is easy?

Are colour and velour phonetically similar on your island?

Is there any other way?

[Akitu]

Re: You think English is easy?

Is there any other way?

Pronounced, not spelled. Phonetically it would be Kul-err and Vel-oor... To be as simplistic as possible.

[fixthecopier]

Re: You think English is easy?

In America, if you are going to discuss the language, I like to hear from George...plus I got bored this morning


Always do whatever's next.


At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.


By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.


Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.


Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?


"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?


I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.


I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.


I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam.

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.


I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.

I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.


I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.


I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect.

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.


If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.


Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealis

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.


May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your hous

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did

One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.


People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.

Religion is just mind control.

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.

Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.

The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept



I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect.


If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.


May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did

One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.

Religion is just mind control

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.


Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.


The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept



When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat

You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
George Carlin

[Hemlock]

Re: You think English is easy?

Actually the original name of the town was Norfork. When the town applied for a post office way back when, some "inbred that failed Hooked on Phonics" that worked at the postal service in your town decided that Norfork couldn't be right so he changed it to Norfolk. So they just left it that way rather than go through all the red tape to change it back. But they did continue to pronounce it the right way.

Oh, you're in Norfolk, Nebraska. Keep forgetting about flyover country, everything between Chicago and the Sierra Nevadas kinda blends into one big plain.

[prntrfxr]

Re: You think English is easy?

How about Beaufort, SC and Beaufort, NC? In South Carolina, you pronounce it Be-you-fort. In North Carolina, you pronounce it Bow-fort. I just remember to say it with a southern drawl when I'm talking to someone from SOUTH Carolina and a northern accent when I'm talking to someone from NORTH Carolina.

[fixthecopier]

Re: You think English is easy?

How about Beaufort, SC and Beaufort, NC? In South Carolina, you pronounce it Be-you-fort. In North Carolina, you pronounce it Bow-fort. I just remember to say it with a southern drawl when I'm talking to someone from SOUTH Carolina and a northern accent when I'm talking to someone from NORTH Carolina.

You have to excuse people in SC for pronouncing it wrong. Most of them avoid school in the winter, as it is too cold on their bare feet to walk.