Please don't fart on the copy guy!

[mojorolla]

Re: Please don't fart on the copy guy!

Maybe would should keep these in our tool bags...
UnderEZ - By: UnderTec

[ZOOTECH]

Re: Please don't fart on the copy guy!

Maybe would should keep these in our tool bags...
UnderEZ - By: UnderTec

It wouldn't help if is in the tool bag.

[mojorolla]

Re: Please don't fart on the copy guy!

Sorry, I refer to my "junk" as my tool bag also.

[jpcopy]

Re: Please don't fart on the copy guy!

doesn't excess farting mean you full of shit

[Akitu]

Re: Please don't fart on the copy guy!

doesn't excess farting mean you full of shit

That's when it starts coming out of the mouth. (Read: When salesmen are talking)

[Tricky]

Re: Please don't fart on the copy guy!

Although its not always convenient a zippo lighter ignites them and I have been led to believe, also removes the smell.

[ZOOTECH]

Re: Please don't fart on the copy guy!

Although its not always convenient a zippo lighter ignites them and I have been led to believe, also removes the smell.

So, what would be worse 1) a stink bomb or 2) a green flame that might turn on the fire alarm?

[Lagonda]

Re: Please don't fart on the copy guy!

Yet another use for your vacuum cleaner, mask the noise and disperse the smell.

[Akitu]

Re: Please don't fart on the copy guy!

Yet another use for your vacuum cleaner, mask the noise and disperse the smell.

It is at this point that I would like to reference this awesome story of just such an occasion submitted by Shadow1 that has made me crack up numerous times.

DO NOT under any circumstances attempt to vacuum up a fart!

Here's the scenario: Chinese for lunch, and I am beginning to understand sublimation - the physical process by which a solid transforms directly into a gas.

I'm vacuuming out an MP3500 that was in its normal state of existence - absolutely filthy - and I feel this one rumbling around in my gut and headed for the exit like a freight train.

As usual, I'm sitting on my vacuum while working, so I figure the sound will get drowned out, and if I tip the hose in the right direction the rest will get sucked up and never heard from again. Hey, why not - it works for toner, right? WRONG!

First of all, if you ever try to fart while sitting on top of a 3M vacuum things get kinda squished together and rearranged, so you end up ripping the world's loudest squeaker. Think of an air horn attached to a jet engine - easily heard over the loudest vac. Of course this is enough to frighten anyone and when I jumped the tone changed, so not only does everyone within a 50 mile radius know I farted, but they think I'm playing with it. If I could have died right then, I would have... gladly... and played "Taps" for myself on the a$$ trumpet. My only consolation was there were very few people in the area.

Worse than the noise were the vapors. Pray a hostile army never gets hold of anything like this - our surrender would be immediate. I don't know why on earth I ever thought something like that would get trapped in the filter except that it was mean enough to have teeth.

A normal fart will spread out slightly, rise to the roof, and get sucked into the A/C returns to go visit someone else - A Vacuum cleaner, on the other hand, makes a very efficient air blender. Blasting that beast through my vac pissed it off, whipped it into a froth, and sprayed a heavy coat of funk all over the room.

The other people in the area cracked a few jokes, but didn't make too big of a deal about it. After that performance somebody has to say something about "the elephant in the room" ;-)

I finished the call as fast as I could before any other disasters could happen and though I could put the whole incident - er - behind me... until my next call when I discovered part of the beast did get trapped in the filter after all.

After I finally got over the humiliation and told the story I got zinged again:

"You know, you got lucky."
"How so??"
"Farts are flammable, and the motor could be an ignition source"
"I think I would have been luckier if it blew me up," But then I started getting mental pictures of my vacuum blasting off and flying around the room like a fart powered 747

[BLADE]

Re: Please don't fart on the copy guy!

[QUOTE=vigour;251168]i've been thinking about starting a thread about this for a long time.
The worst is when one escapes by accident and it turns out to be smelly
then you see the cute chick who has been smiling with you, approaching the area.]

the worse the fart the better the chick tho - inversly proportionate rule applies

[daveyball]

Re: Please don't fart on the copy guy!

[QUOTE=BLADE;251304]

i've been thinking about starting a thread about this for a long time.
The worst is when one escapes by accident and it turns out to be smelly
then you see the cute chick who has been smiling with you, approaching the area.]

the worse the fart the better the chick tho - inversly proportionate rule applies

Does that mean if it doesn't smell, the girls a munter!!

[BLADE]

Re: Please don't fart on the copy guy!

[QUOTE=daveyball;251306]

Does that mean if it doesn't smell, the girls a munter!!

probably, take a duck call thingy on site and see what you get. In an ideal world all techs would use a duck caller to find a mate

[prntrfxr]

Re: Please don't fart on the copy guy!

Originally Posted by Shadow1 DO NOT under any circumstances attempt to vacuum up a fart!

Here's the scenario: Chinese for lunch, and I am beginning to understand sublimation - the physical process by which a solid transforms directly into a gas.

I'm vacuuming out an MP3500 that was in its normal state of existence - absolutely filthy - and I feel this one rumbling around in my gut and headed for the exit like a freight train.

As usual, I'm sitting on my vacuum while working, so I figure the sound will get drowned out, and if I tip the hose in the right direction the rest will get sucked up and never heard from again. Hey, why not - it works for toner, right? WRONG!

First of all, if you ever try to fart while sitting on top of a 3M vacuum things get kinda squished together and rearranged, so you end up ripping the world's loudest squeaker. Think of an air horn attached to a jet engine - easily heard over the loudest vac. Of course this is enough to frighten anyone and when I jumped the tone changed, so not only does everyone within a 50 mile radius know I farted, but they think I'm playing with it. If I could have died right then, I would have... gladly... and played "Taps" for myself on the a$$ trumpet. My only consolation was there were very few people in the area.

Worse than the noise were the vapors. Pray a hostile army never gets hold of anything like this - our surrender would be immediate. I don't know why on earth I ever thought something like that would get trapped in the filter except that it was mean enough to have teeth.

A normal fart will spread out slightly, rise to the roof, and get sucked into the A/C returns to go visit someone else - A Vacuum cleaner, on the other hand, makes a very efficient air blender. Blasting that beast through my vac pissed it off, whipped it into a froth, and sprayed a heavy coat of funk all over the room.

The other people in the area cracked a few jokes, but didn't make too big of a deal about it. After that performance somebody has to say something about "the elephant in the room" ;-)

I finished the call as fast as I could before any other disasters could happen and though I could put the whole incident - er - behind me... until my next call when I discovered part of the beast did get trapped in the filter after all.

After I finally got over the humiliation and told the story I got zinged again:

"You know, you got lucky."
"How so??"
"Farts are flammable, and the motor could be an ignition source"

"I think I would have been luckier if it blew me up," But then I started getting mental pictures of my vacuum blasting off and flying around the room like a fart powered 747

I think I have to agree with Akitu. Shadow1 takes the prize for posting the funniest post of all time (from my perspective) for this one and it is best read with a southern accent (US) as I'm sure he has one (Mississippi). Almost all of his posts are funny. Come to think of it I haven't seen any of his posts lately. Hmmm...

[Akitu]

Re: Please don't fart on the copy guy!

I think I have to agree with Akitu. Shadow1 takes the prize for posting the funniest post of all time (from my perspective) for this one and it is best read with a southern accent (US) as I'm sure he has one (Mississippi). Almost all of his posts are funny. Come to think of it I haven't seen any of his posts lately. Hmmm...

I've also noticed his absence. I'll have to try re-reading it or having one of my friends in KY try reading it, she has the most lovely accent when she's not trying to hide it. Should be quite amusing.

[HenryT2]

Re: Please don't fart on the copy guy!

ABOUT SHADOW'S POST
The problem I see is that whomever reads this aloud ; Yankee dialect or SOUTHERN ,
it cannot be read all the way through from start to finish . You have to pause
so you can roll around on the floor , holding you side, 'cause it hurts from laughing so hard.
I think this the " ROFLMBO " they talk about .
I've missed seeing Shadow here as well .
I'm not certain , but I think he is Southern and we are Northern . ' Mississippi ' that is.