Joke of the Day

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  • izzynut
    Gov.

    5,000+ Posts
    • Aug 2013
    • 5347

    #6541
    Re: Joke of the Day

    An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day.The daughter said to her mother,


    'My hands are freezing cold.'

    The mother replied, 'Put them between your legs and your body heat will warm them up.'

    The daughter did, and her hands warmed up.

    The next day the daughter was riding with her boyfriend who said,

    'My hands are freezing cold.'


    The girl replied,

    'Put them between my legs and the warmth of my body will warm them up.'

    He did and warmed his hands.

    The following day the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter.

    He said, 'My nose is cold.'

    The girl replied

    'Put it between my legs, the warmth of my body will warm it up.'

    He did and warmed his nose.
    The day after the boyfriend was again driving with the daughter, and he said,

    'My penis is frozen solid.'


    The next day, the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother again,
    And she asks,

    'Have you ever heard of a penis?'

    Concerned the mother said,

    'Why yes..... Why do you ask?'

    The daughter replies,

    'They make one hell of a mess when they defrost, don't they!!!'

    Comment

    • izzynut
      Gov.

      5,000+ Posts
      • Aug 2013
      • 5347

      #6542
      Re: Joke of the Day

      This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills!


      Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?















      Customer: A white one.
      ******************************
      Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
      Customer: Your left or my left?
      ****************************
      Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says, 'Can't find printer.' I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it.
      ****************************
      Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
      Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
      ****************************
      Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
      Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
      Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
      Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
      Customer: OK!
      Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
      Customer: Yes.
      Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.
      ****************************
      Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
      Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
      Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
      Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
      Customer: Five dots.
      ****************************
      Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
      Customer: Netscape.
      Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
      Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer...
      ****************************
      Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
      ****************************
      Tech support: How may I help you?
      Customer: I'm writing my first email.
      Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
      Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?
      ****************************
      This one and the next are our personal favorites!
      A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
      Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
      Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'
      ****************************
      And last but not least!
      Tech support: 'Okay Tom, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
      Customer: I don't have a P.
      Tech support: On your keyboard, Tom.
      Customer: What do you mean?
      Tech support: 'P'......on your keyboard, Tom.

      Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!


      Comment

      • slimslob
        Retired

        Site Contributor
        25,000+ Posts
        • May 2013
        • 36895

        #6543
        Re: Joke of the Day

        Comment

        • slimslob
          Retired

          Site Contributor
          25,000+ Posts
          • May 2013
          • 36895

          #6544
          Re: Joke of the Day

          Comment

          • izzynut
            Gov.

            5,000+ Posts
            • Aug 2013
            • 5347

            #6545
            Re: Joke of the Day

            95B16950-E87B-45C9-BF2B-FDEDB301B205.jpg

            Comment

            • izzynut
              Gov.

              5,000+ Posts
              • Aug 2013
              • 5347

              #6546
              Re: Joke of the Day

              D4137CB2-4BBA-440C-A486-CE574A94C25A.jpg

              Comment

              • izzynut
                Gov.

                5,000+ Posts
                • Aug 2013
                • 5347

                #6547
                Re: Joke of the Day

                6221dd6d59c72__700.jpg

                Comment

                • izzynut
                  Gov.

                  5,000+ Posts
                  • Aug 2013
                  • 5347

                  #6548
                  Re: Joke of the Day

                  6221dd6eb121e__700.jpg

                  Comment

                  • izzynut
                    Gov.

                    5,000+ Posts
                    • Aug 2013
                    • 5347

                    #6549
                    Re: Joke of the Day

                    CAAA5364-E051-4857-8B78-DEE84B4DAB0D.jpg

                    Comment

                    • izzynut
                      Gov.

                      5,000+ Posts
                      • Aug 2013
                      • 5347

                      #6550
                      Re: Joke of the Day

                      625A6997-1F41-4695-ACEC-CADED5ECDA7F.jpg

                      Comment

                      • slimslob
                        Retired

                        Site Contributor
                        25,000+ Posts
                        • May 2013
                        • 36895

                        #6551
                        Re: Joke of the Day

                        Comment

                        • slimslob
                          Retired

                          Site Contributor
                          25,000+ Posts
                          • May 2013
                          • 36895

                          #6552
                          Re: Joke of the Day

                          Comment

                          • slimslob
                            Retired

                            Site Contributor
                            25,000+ Posts
                            • May 2013
                            • 36895

                            #6553
                            Re: Joke of the Day

                            Comment

                            • slimslob
                              Retired

                              Site Contributor
                              25,000+ Posts
                              • May 2013
                              • 36895

                              #6554
                              Re: Joke of the Day

                              Comment

                              • izzynut
                                Gov.

                                5,000+ Posts
                                • Aug 2013
                                • 5347

                                #6555
                                Re: Joke of the Day

                                F555DC2C-F710-4984-8899-08546BB79D33.jpg

                                Comment

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