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Re: Joke of the Day
I once dated a girl with a twin and people always asked me how I could
tell them apart.
It was simple, Alison painted her nails red, and Bob had a beard.Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
Pro Tip #22: Ring your own doorbell on your way to bed. This will clear the dogs off the bed.
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Re: Joke of the Day
I went to an Alcoholics Anonymous Meeting. Anonymous my eye. I knew everyone there!!
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Re: Joke of the Day
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Re: Joke of the Day
Note to self: 'Cancel credit cards prior to death!
Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die! This is so priceless
and so easy to see happening - customer service, being what it is today!
A lady died this past January, and ANZ bank billed her for February and
March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and
Then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had
been $0.00, now is somewhere around $60.00.
A family member placed a call to the ANZ Bank:
Family Member:
'I am calling to tell you that she died in January.'
ANZ:
'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'
Family Member:
'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.'
ANZ:
'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'
Family Member:
So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'
ANZ:
'Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to
the credit bureau, maybe both!'
Family Member:
'Do you think God will be mad at her?'
ANZ:
'Excuse me?'
Family Member:
'Did you just get what I was telling you . . . The part about her
being dead?'
ANZ:
'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'
Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member:
'I'm calling to tell you, she died in January.'
ANZ:
'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'
Family Member:
'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'
ANZ:
(Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'
Family Member:
'No, I'm her great nephew.'
(Lawyer info given)
ANZ:
'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'
Family Member:
'Sure.'
(fax number is given)
After they get the fax:
ANZ:
'Our system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I
can do to help.'
Family Member:
'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing
her. I don't think she will care.'
ANZ:
'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.'
Family Member:
'Would you like her new billing address?'
ANZ:
'That might help.'
Family Member:
' Rookwood Memorial Cemetery, 1249 Centenary Rd, Sydney Plot Number
1049.'
ANZ:
'Sir, that's a cemetery!'
Family Member:
'Well, what the fu*k do you do with dead people on your planet?'
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