Tales of the Mildly Interesting

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  • fixthecopier
    ALIEN OVERLORD

    2,500+ Posts
    • Apr 2008
    • 4714

    #1

    Tales of the Mildly Interesting

    So I ran into a guy who has been working on copiers in my town for about 30 years. He has been a Cannon tech for a while now. I see him about once every year and a half, and we gossip about the local copier biz like 2 old women talking about a slut in church. At some point in the conversation he mentioned wanting to quit and move. I said "It would be great if you fucked up that "No Bid" contract you have at the JSOC compound and give me a shot at it" He grinned real big and said "You want to hear how we got that contract?" "Well , it sounds like there is a story in it, so yes"

    The Background...

    JSOC stands for "Joint Special Operations Command". It is a mix of all forces, run by the Navy, doing covert ops, the same folks that got Bin Laden. In the mid 80's is when they built their compound on base. At that time they would have been, and still are, on a level with CIA. The compound is a fortress. A few months ago one of the guards searched my notebook for drawings. What this means to a copier company is that they have a limitless budget and can get what they want. Money is no object.

    It is 1985 and the copier choice has come down to Xerox and Cannon. I don't know what 28 fully dressed copiers cost in 1985, but Xerox won the deal. I do not think low bid was an issue. Back then they were not leased, they paid cash. The machines are placed. There are no issues for 3 months and then one of them needs service. The machine is in the office of the highest ranking civilian there. He has as much power as a general.

    The tech shows up, take one look at the machine and says something like "This machine is not set up to site specifications, I am not working on it."

    The man in charge told him that he had better fix the copier. The tech refused. He was escorted out of the compound. As soon as he left, the customer got on the phone and called the 27 other locations that had a copier, ordered them to unplug the machine, and push them into the parking lot. He then called the Cannon dealer that lost the deal and told them that if they could get 28 machines together by close of business next day, they were in. I was told that they had to pull machines from across 3 states to get 28 built and ready boxes. That was almost 30 years ago and they have been there every since, and the contract never goes out to bid. I was also told that the Xerox boxes sat overnight in the rain before being picked up.


    This story may be part of another one that I was told shortly after starting work out here. One of the reasons Xerox was chosen was because they already had copiers on main base. My first contract manager, who was on base back then told me of a Xerox tech, [I know the guys name, but won't say because I think he is still in the business] who refused to fix a generals copier, and was BANNED from base. This means that for the length of that contract, they had to dispatch a tech from 2 hours away to do service daily.

    I guess if there is a moral, it is , DON"T PISS OFF THE CUSTOMER, if they have rank and power. You have to choose your battles.

    Well, hope you enjoyed. It is 5:30 am and I am up for the day and bored, so I thought I would share.
    The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking
  • MR Bill
    Senior Tech

    500+ Posts
    • Jan 2010
    • 532

    #2
    Re: Tales of the Mildly Interesting

    I will guess the first Xerox tech that said the machines are not set up to specs got his A$$ fired?

    Comment

    • Wild Bill
      Senior Tech

      500+ Posts
      • Jul 2005
      • 774

      #3
      Re: Tales of the Mildly Interesting

      I'm wandering what were the items that were out of spec that this guy couldn't do his service call.
      Not level? by a window...what?
      I refused to work on a copier in a garage once because it was 120 degrees in there with no AC or even a fan.
      CHOOSE YOUR BATTLE CORRECTLY is right!
      Izzy

      Comment

      • fixthecopier
        ALIEN OVERLORD

        2,500+ Posts
        • Apr 2008
        • 4714

        #4
        Re: Tales of the Mildly Interesting

        Originally posted by Wild Bill
        I'm wandering what were the items that were out of spec that this guy couldn't do his service call.
        Not level? by a window...what?
        I refused to work on a copier in a garage once because it was 120 degrees in there with no AC or even a fan.
        CHOOSE YOUR BATTLE CORRECTLY is right!

        machine was probably 5 inches from wall, instead of the required 6
        The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking

        Comment

        • Nachoman4life
          Trusted Tech

          Site Contributor
          100+ Posts
          • Oct 2007
          • 212

          #5
          Re: Tales of the Mildly Interesting

          I saw a squirrel today.
          Where the heck is my spring hook?

          Comment

          • fixthecopier
            ALIEN OVERLORD

            2,500+ Posts
            • Apr 2008
            • 4714

            #6
            Re: Tales of the Mildly Interesting

            A few years ago my boss sent me to Pinehurst during one of the tournaments to get some golf swag from a friend he has out there. The man used to own a few copy dealerships in California and was now retired. He was a nice man and when I told him I worked on base, he told me about how when he was in California he had a contract with a bunch of bases to supply copiers. He told me he was "The Copy King" in California. This would have been mid 80's also. As part of the contract, he was required to send a tech, every quarter, to speak with the POC and check the on how they were running. He was paid extra for this, and described it as the government sending him a big box of money every quarter. The tech did not have to speak to anyone but the POC, and if they were not there, the call ended. Speaking from experience, the POC on base is rarely there, and if it has been more than a year they have most likely moved on to other units. When this happened the tech would write "Not Available" on the paperwork and move on. Now the tech that he was sending to do this had terrible handwriting, pretty much a scribble, and it looked more like someone signing their name. He said the government would have auditors checking these contracts and for years he would get calls from them wanting to speak to Nate Applebee, because his name was all over these forms. The running joke at his office was when you don't want to take responsibility for something, let Nate do it.

            Well there you have it folks. Another copier related yawn gut wrenching "Tale of the Mildly Interesting"
            The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking

            Comment

            • emujo
              Field Supervisor

              2,500+ Posts
              • Jun 2009
              • 3009

              #7
              Re: Tales of the Mildly Interesting

              Originally posted by Nachoman4life
              I saw a squirrel today.
              That's not even mildly interesting...I like coffee..Emujo
              If you don't see your question answered in the forum, please don't think it's OK to PM me for a personal reply...I do not give out firmware and/or manuals.

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