Early retirement

[gwaddle]

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congress.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,

The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas, and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.

[KapeKopyTek]

Re: Early retirement

I'm waiting for my military retirement (30 yrs) to get cut. My "free health care for self and spouse, for life" went away a long time ago. "If you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor, if you like your plan, you can keep your plan". May the Death Panel have mercy on our souls (patient has reached the negative economic return age/condition, panel recommends no further treatment beyond pain relief for a period not to exceed 14 calendar days. Next case.). Your humorous post may not be that far off the mark......

[Tonerbomb]

Re: Early retirement

I'm waiting for my military retirement (30 yrs) to get cut. My "free health care for self and spouse, for life" went away a long time ago. "If you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor, if you like your plan, you can keep your plan". May the Death Panel have mercy on our souls (patient has reached the negative economic return age/condition, panel recommends no further treatment beyond pain relief for a period not to exceed 14 calendar days. Next case.). Your humorous post may not be that far off the mark......

Fucking Dead On.............. Literally.................

[slimslob]

Re: Early retirement

I'm waiting for my military retirement (30 yrs) to get cut. My "free health care for self and spouse, for life" went away a long time ago. "If you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor, if you like your plan, you can keep your plan". May the Death Panel have mercy on our souls (patient has reached the negative economic return age/condition, panel recommends no further treatment beyond pain relief for a period not to exceed 14 calendar days. Next case.). Your humorous post may not be that far off the mark......

If you are a retiring/retired reservist, once you hit age 60, then you are eligible to draw retirement pay. You will also get Tricare Retired Standard, or if you live within a certain distance from a military base Tricare Retired Select or Prime. This will be provided free of charge and will cover both you and your spouse. You do of course have to apply for retirement. Within three months prior to reaching age 65, you will have to apply for Medicare parts A and B. You will have to pay for Part B which is currently over $100 a month which can be taken out of your Social Security if you are drawing it, if not you will be you will be billed for 3 months in advance. As long as you have both Medicare Parts A & B in place, then you will get Tricare for life as your Medicare supplemental.

[NeoMatrix]

Re: Early retirement

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing u

PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas, and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off

Ahmen....... I believe you've hit the nail on the head. The same economic situation is happening in Oz...
Big name industry is dumping jobs by the 10's of thousands. Gov't doesn't know how or where to create more jobs for all the coming unemployed...

Ha I just noticed the your current status of posts is number 666.... <add x-files music here>. That should add fuel to the fire for the conspirators... Oh! no ,my status of posts is 660.... sh!t we're all doomed.......

[KapeKopyTek]

Re: Early retirement

If you are a retiring/retired reservist, once you hit age 60, then you are eligible to draw retirement pay. You will also get Tricare Retired Standard, or if you live within a certain distance from a military base Tricare Retired Select or Prime. This will be provided free of charge and will cover both you and your spouse. You do of course have to apply for retirement. Within three months prior to reaching age 65, you will have to apply for Medicare parts A and B. You will have to pay for Part B which is currently over $100 a month which can be taken out of your Social Security if you are drawing it, if not you will be you will be billed for 3 months in advance. As long as you have both Medicare Parts A & B in place, then you will get Tricare for life as your Medicare supplemental.

Thanks slim. Yes, getting close (59 in May), and fingers crossed. If I'm reading the link correctly, nothing is free........ and there is still talk of impending cuts, so we'll see. I can't speak for all vets, but I could live with some budget cuts to my retirement for the good of the nation (and our kids!) if they were across the board, with major cuts to "foreign aid" to countries that hate us, useless nanny state strongarm agencies, the IRS, etc.......

http://www.military.com/benefits/tricare/prime/tricare-prime-overview.html

[Debs1964]

Re: Early retirement

Ha I just noticed the your current status of posts is number 666....

I already knew that Gene was the spawn of the devil, no-one nice could be that much of a slave driver to someone who lives thousands of miles from him

[gwaddle]

Re: Early retirement

I already knew that Gene was the spawn of the devil, no-one nice could be that much of a slave driver to someone who lives thousands of miles from him

Who me?

[slimslob]

Re: Early retirement

Ha I just noticed the your current status of posts is number 666

I noticed he posted to this thread again and now it is 667.

[Iowatech]

Re: Early retirement

Ahmen....... I believe you've hit the nail on the head. The same economic situation is happening in Oz...
Big name industry is dumping jobs by the 10's of thousands. Gov't doesn't know how or where to create more jobs for all the coming unemployed...

Ha I just noticed the your current status of posts is number 666.... <add x-files music here>. That should add fuel to the fire for the conspirators... Oh! no ,my status of posts is 660.... sh!t we're all doomed.......

http://www.dramabutton.com/