[Annoying] Piss Poor Technical Questions

[Ctl-Alt-Del]

Time for a rant

[rant]

I fucking can't stand "technicians" who can't ask even the most basic of technical questions. Seriously, you're allegedly a technician so prove it.

If you've been to a machine twice and replaced "everything" but still can't post a question containing the specific Jam, Alarm, Error or Self Diagnostic code you're trying to resolve please go somewhere else for help. What does your jam look like, is is folded, accordioned or other? How about the line on your copy, is lead to trail, side to side, what does it look like, how about duplex, or print vs. copy?

If you're gonna say it "won't print" and you've updated drivers, firmware and "tried everything" please feel free to tell us what "won't print" means. does it ping, print a test page, is it a particular application, does it work from other workstations or not. Seriously, prove to the world that you're smarter than the end-user that called it in and maybe someone can help you with a solution instead of jacking around all day playing 20 questions.

[/rant]

OK, rant over, time to get back to work.

[KenB]

Re: Piss Poor Technical Questions

My machine won't work.

Please help!

You mean like that?

[subaro]

Re: Piss Poor Technical Questions

How about those who asking for help and put half the model number, thinking the guys will figure out the rest. That's really annoying.

[Lagonda]

Re: Piss Poor Technical Questions

If you are going to email me a copy quality sample at least indicate which is the lead edge!

[slimslob]

Re: Piss Poor Technical Questions

For those who are not good with English, they should just type in the language that they are best with. I think we all know how to use https://translate.google.com/.

[Ctl-Alt-Del]

Re: Piss Poor Technical Questions

How about those who asking for help and put half the model number, thinking the guys will figure out the rest. That's really annoying.

Exactly, I saw a post a while ago about a KM-520, KM-xxx are older Kyocera Mita model numbers but the question was actually about a Konica Minolta 520 which is actually a BizHub 520.

If you are going to email me a copy quality sample at least indicate which is the lead edge!

All they need to do is draw an arrow, how difficult is that.

My machine won't work. Please help! You mean like that?

Yup!

[zoraldinho]

Re: Piss Poor Technical Questions

Thank god thread "won't print" is printable view.

[Lance15]

Re: Piss Poor Technical Questions

Amen to this thread!

Even within our tech's I work with I get stupid, half-assed assessments. Tech's replace whole printers and I find out back on the bench it could have been fixed with little to no parts just by LOOKING. Something dislodged, out of place, whatever.

Had a P4015 that got swapped out because the tech couldn't figure out why the tray 1 pickup assembly kept trying to pick up non-existent paper. Turns out one of those small post-it notepads slipped between the tray 1 and the tray 1 cover "activating" the sensor flag. The printer thought there was paper on the tray because the flag was activated. Sheesh!!! LISTEN AND THINK!!!!!

[igi]

Re: Piss Poor Technical Questions

i feel for you and with you brothers.

[TonerMunkeh]

Re: Piss Poor Technical Questions

Unfortunately, there are two types of techs. Those that think for themselves and those who don't.

The thinkers are proactive in their approach to work. They use correct manuals, update firmware regularly, repair a machine to correct spec and leave happy.

The non-thinkers, or who I like to call LAZY FUCKING ASSCLOWNS prefer to sit on the back of the thinkers, claiming responsibility for their work. They are the lowest of the low. The kind of substance I would compare them to is three week old turkey jizz.

They mince into a call full of bluster (usually a recall on a thinker) and pull a piece of paper out of a machine and proclaim to the world "I am awesome". You're not. You're the crusty end of a baguette. No-one wants you. No-one needs you. If it weren't for your wankering hit-and-run tactics to make the figures look impressive you'd have been fired years ago. The more worrying part is you have bred. You have little wankers and they will go to school and do wankery things.

Eat shit and die, you lazy bastards. I can't stand the way you pathetically squeak when you ring me asking for help. I wish I could skullfuck you down the phone but we haven't reached that level of technology yet. I wish I could pass warts down a phone directly to your genitalia.

If you have not guessed, I am a thinker. I take pride in my work. The non-thinkers can all go take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut, the unspeakable piles of gerbil testicles.

[igi]

Re: Piss Poor Technical Questions

Unfortunately, there are two types of techs. Those that think for themselves and those who don't.

The thinkers are proactive in their approach to work. They use correct manuals, update firmware regularly, repair a machine to correct spec and leave happy.

The non-thinkers, or who I like to call LAZY FUCKING ASSCLOWNS prefer to sit on the back of the thinkers, claiming responsibility for their work. They are the lowest of the low. The kind of substance I would compare them to is three week old turkey jizz.

They mince into a call full of bluster (usually a recall on a thinker) and pull a piece of paper out of a machine and proclaim to the world "I am awesome". You're not. You're the crusty end of a baguette. No-one wants you. No-one needs you. If it weren't for your wankering hit-and-run tactics to make the figures look impressive you'd have been fired years ago. The more worrying part is you have bred. You have little wankers and they will go to school and do wankery things.

Eat shit and die, you lazy bastards. I can't stand the way you pathetically squeak when you ring me asking for help. I wish I could skullfuck you down the phone but we haven't reached that level of technology yet. I wish I could pass warts down a phone directly to your genitalia.

If you have not guessed, I am a thinker. I take pride in my work. The non-thinkers can all go take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut, the unspeakable piles of gerbil testicles.

i feel that you are holding back, your true feelings .
please let it out , so we all know how you realy feel. about the lazy no good technicians.

[emujo]

Re: Piss Poor Technical Questions

My fav is the guy that you can tell by how the questions are phrased that he is an end user, doesn't want to spend 1 damn dime to fix the machine and only wants someone to take him by the hand and explain exactly how to fix it, step by step. And the question itself has been posted 25 times previously but he wants a personal reply. 2nd in line is the "I am from (insert name of un pronounceable country here) and there are no techs that can help me. Please give me firmware and manuals". Emujo

[igi]

Re: Piss Poor Technical Questions

Emujo
you mean flimware of course.

[Iowatech]

Re: Piss Poor Technical Questions

As some of them are from places that are very different than I am familiar with, I like to encourage posters like this to do some actual troubleshooting, as many of them don't realize we can't see or hear their machine.
While that fails sometimes, it works more often than you'd think.
The blocked list function is pretty easy to use otherwise.

[fixthecopier]

Re: Piss Poor Technical Questions

Well, we all know that having 500,000 copies or 50,000 copies has no impact on how a machine runs. Rollers will always last forever.


The term "tech" is also being used by parts changers. You have to be prepared to think out of the box, pardon the cliche. Sometimes the machines don't break like the manual says. If you don't understand how it makes copies, you will have an even more difficult time trying to understand why it doesn't make them any more.