We should put you on the payroll...

[aodtech]

Or give you your own desk/office/cubicle. How many of you have had customer say that to you when you've had multiple visits to a crappy machine. A little condescending, but I think it's pretty funny. After talking to my wife tonight, I found out she says that to the tech who comes into her office. To think, I'm married to the enemy.

[nmfaxman]

I tell them I would settle for a parking space with my name on it.
THE COPY GUY
I get a lot of laughs.

[fixthecopier]

I guess we think the same. I use the same "parking space" line or I tell them they can't afford my company full time. Once in a while I will stop what I am doing, laugh real hard and exclaim " That is so funny, I have NEVER heard that one before!", but that is only on those special days.

[d7guitar]

Hilarious!!!

I love it when clients say those things to me!! (now) It's part of what i enjoy as a tech. Getting to interact with new and interesting people and joke about copiers. Although I have to admit it used to get under my skin really bad. Especially considering the fact that they were seeing me way to much and that reinforced my feelings of poor troubleshooting skills. (aughhh) There was one particular day at an account that had NO key-op in an office of roughly 100 people, big corporation type, when I was getting sniped (snipers: the person that comments on how shi&&y the copier is without breaking stride and barely a glance your way) to the point of wanting to choke the living Shi$ out of the next person who uttered anything under their breathe directed towards me, and, oh yeah, the copier too. The jam codes were all varied and very few. No positive trends towards any one particular problem. It was brand new. Maybe 2 months into the contract. More like a hit and run sale (just put the copier in and let the people working their figure out how to run it, haha, I made my money). I suspected these clients had no idea how to get their jobs setup properly, much less understand how to operate this new peice of machinery. But anyways, back to the choking part... the next victim walked by and without even looking at me spoke of what a piece of cr@p that copier was and we should throw it in the dumpster. I have had it!!! I followed this tub of lard back to his cubicle and the look on his face was priceless when he turned and saw me staring at him from across his desk. I really wasn't sure what i was going to say to him. There was an uncomfortable pause as I contemplated my next move, but i realized i loved my job too much to jeopordize it. I put on my best smile and explained how a key-op could be the liason between the users and the copier tech and would help me to do my job efficiently and make everyone happy with their new copier. The jerk i wanted to choke ended up being a pretty cool dude, an excellent key-op and even became my ally! I haven't had to run down anyone since. But I will get right in front of clients that have fowl mouth loose lips, look them striaght in the eyes and enlist them to help me. It hasn't failed me yet. Otherwise my favorite comeback is "I already punched-in".

[Baphomet]

I try not to react to my customer's negative comments, but I have mentioned to a few that my presence is a testament to the value of their service agreement.

What comes to mind was earlier this week I was working in a school in a small town with a population of about 900 people. Kids are bused in from other small towns in the area, otherwise there wouldn't be enough kids to make a class much less a school. Anyway, I was on my third trip there to service their copier because I kept having trouble with parts. A teacher came into the work room and said, "You should just stay over night and save yourself another trip". I said, "I would if your town was big enough to have a motel."

I'm not very fast with comebacks, so that was about the best I could come up with. Normally I just grunt or give a short snicker. Generally I don't care that much. I honestly don't have too many times I have to service a machine repetitively. My callbacks are pretty low, but my calls per day are about the lowest in the company as well.

[10871087]

I tell them that it would probably be cheaper to just buy a new copier but I would be more then happy to join the team if they really want me.

[blackcat4866]

When I hear these comments, true or not, I just stop what I'm doing and look at them and smile, but say nothing. I won't dignify these unintelligent, uninformed, unproductive comments with a response. You can only be the butt of thier joke if you consent to be.

Some few people even recognize the ignorance of their comments and slink away. But most just look confused, like I should be very happy to provide them with entertainment at my own expense, and confirm how funny they are.

=^..^=

[cobiray]

I think we've all heard the gamut of remarks after a time or two at an account. Most of them don't even know why we're there, that the machine is being over worked or whatever and most of them aren't trying to be malicious about it You can usually tell who's making small talk and who's being a Richard Cranium. I usually just chuckle or smile politely, maybe change the subject to the weather or whatever. I do admit there are sometimes I'm not in the mood for the shenanigans but I try to hold my usually sarcastic tongue until I get back into the car. Discretion is the better part of valor in this case.

Being a senior tech I get to handle some of the calls that aren't fixed the first or second time around so I get those comments sometimes more than not. IT does make an excellent time to interject about the age of the machine, how well the new ones work comparatively and to inquire about a new piece of equipment.

[Jimbo1]

I ask them how the benefits are there.

I hear that at least once a week and it's really hilarious when you or no one else in your service dept. has been there for like six months to a year.

We just tend to seem an easy target.

Another favorite is the office executive high muckity muck who when he sees you there asks whoever the key op is if there is a problem he needs to call and discuss with the service manager or whatever cause he has hemmoroids or whatever.

And like I said you haven't been therre for ages.

[Tonerspill]

customer comments

Amen brother, I get that one sometimes too. We have a handheld device too, so when someone "claims" to have seen us a lot, I can look up the service history right there and see how much they're exagerating. If it does get under my skin, it's usually because they think they're the first ones on the planet to think of it. I usually just ask them to come up with some original material.
What gets me more than the snide comments are the "by the way" calls where you go in for one machine and they want you to work on three others while you're there! Usually I have a half to a whole day planned out by my first call, if I drop everything for them it's not fair to the other customers who used the system correctly, but they don't see it that way.

[Vista Tech]

I work for a small dealership. 2 offices, 10 personnel, 1 svc mngr per office. I'm the Svc mngr for my office. 1 of our contracts happens to be in health insurance company that does over 60k per month on 4 different machines we have there. They have over 500 people using these machines. And EVERY time I have to go there (At least 1 time per week) I've gotten the "We should put you on the payroll" line. At first it used to piss me off to all hell. Then I decided to fire back at them. They have a Panasoinc 6030 thats right in the main office that has BAD adf jamming issues because people have tried to stop paper being pulled through when they noticed a paperclip / stapled pages in the stack. I took the key opp over to watch me operate on the adf for the 5th time in 2 weeks. Every time it was the same thing. Paper behind the first registration sensor. She saw the process of me taking apart the entire adf to get out a peice of paper, then questioned how it happens. Thats when I got a smile and showed her. Then I explained to her how 80% of problems with machines are the operators and how the machines very rarely have problems on their own. Once I showed her that I haven't had a call out to those machines for that problem in 6 months.

Lesson learned was to wait for the best time to strike then make them learn that the machine isn't a peice of shit and they are the reason the machine is actually malfunctioning. Once they realize that they will start to treat the machine with a little more respect, and when you get there for a real problem they will be grateful.

[DallasTech]

I wish I could count the times I have heard these comments as well. I have only been doing this for 2 years and it's pretty annoying. It really makes me want to walk by their desk and tell them they are doing a shitty job. I think most of this would be solved by our salesmen training like they should, because the salesman that does the correct training doesn't have as many issues as the other salesmen's customers.

It's nice that we have the last service call printed on each ticket and the customer really feels pretty smart when I tell them that the last service call was done six months ago and I am just here to get a meter reading and make sure the machine is not dirty.

[redime]

and I am just here to get a meter reading and make sure the machine is not dirty.

If its been 6 months, the machine is dirty

[BrickPilot]

There are some great rites-of-reply there.

Once a machine is deemed unfairly by the operators to be "a pile of poo" I have been known to comment back
......but I don't understand, your competition/opposition (who I can't name to you) has the exact machine and hardly has a problem. Could this be because your staff are just not as skilled?
Yes it worked. They took interest to be thoughtful operators after that.

[paul bristol uk]

Well should have put you on the payroll. My answer after 30 years of that is "At least you will pay me at the end of the week then!"