And the correct response is....

[tonerhead]

We've all heard snarky comments from customers. How would you really like to respond to them if it wouldn't cost you your job? Let's make a list, I'll start.


When asked "Why is it that this machine never works" The correct response is "It is trying to fit in with the rest of your business"

[gneebore]

Re: And the correct response is....

We've all heard snarky comments from customers. How would you really like to respond to them if it wouldn't cost you your job? Let's make a list, I'll start.


When asked "Why is it that this machine never works" The correct response is "It is trying to fit in with the rest of your business"

When you go to pull the miss feed out of the document feeder and pull out the stapled corner of paper they tried to feed then they ask " Why does that document feeder jam all the time" I have wanted to hold up the stapled corner and say "because some nitwit keeps putting these into the machine"

[Techlife]

Re: And the correct response is....

Have been tempted on numerous occasions when asked "why does this machine always have problems?" to pull out a pocket mirror and show the customer...

[NeoMatrix]

Re: And the correct response is....

Tech: Walking into a customers office.
Cust: The copy machine was working perfect before the last Tech came to service it.
Tech: How long ago was that; who was the last Tech?
Cust: Not sure of either, but its never been the same.
Tech: Maybe it's due for its regular service....
Cust: Don't send that last guy back here.
Tech: Okay,I wouldn't dare do that... (#@#@$!) (Note: Exclude self from this service area).

Tech: Hows the copy machine now after I gave it service?
Cust: Much better than that last guy did...
Tech: Okay see you next time....

[dave w]

Re: And the correct response is....

"Why is this machine always slow"

I have said in the passed

"It has a special chip inside that makes the machine work at the same speed as the staff"


also said

"It has a spell check chip that has to correct all the spelling mistakes, the longer it takes the more errors it has found"

[tsbservice]

Re: And the correct response is....

Well funny thread, I voted for it
Keep it coming guys, if I ever remember what ignorance I heard from another client will report.
For now I just smile and pass them along...at the end of the day I know who is smarter and has last laugh.

[tonerhead]

Re: And the correct response is....

Back again?....you should have an office here?


Correct responses are "No thank you, I already own this building" or "No thank you, not into slumming"

[srvctec]

Re: And the correct response is....

Back again?....you should have an office here?


Correct responses are "No thank you, I already own this building" or "No thank you, not into slumming"

I already have a snarky comment for that one since the person saying it usually has no clue how long it's been since you were there or they think it was the week before when in reality, it was 6 months prior. I always look to see when we were there before and what was done so if a customer says "Back again?!" I can reply with "Again? It's been 6 months since we've serviced your machine!). That usually shuts them right up.


My favorite one and one I've replied back with wit is the one when they say, "I don't suppose I can make a copy (or print or scan or send a fax, etc.) right now?" when all the guts of the machine are laying all over the floor and every cover is off the machine. I've replied to that one using this analogy "You wouldn't ask your mechanic that has your vehicle up in the air, servicing it for whatever reason, oil change, transmission work, replace tires, etc., if you could please make a quick trip to the store, would you?". Once they see the idiocy of the question they just asked, I get all happy inside.

[mikadonovan]

Re: And the correct response is....

My favorite one and one I've replied back with wit is the one when they say, "I don't suppose I can make a copy (or print or scan or send a fax, etc.) right now?) when all the guts of the machine are laying all over the floor and every cover is off the machine. I've replied to that one using this analogy "You wouldn't ask your mechanic that has your vehicle up in the air, servicing it for whatever reason, oil change, transmission work, replace tires, etc., if you could please make a quick trip to the store, would you?". Once they see the idiocy of the question they just asked, I get all happy inside.

Lol. My usual response to this one is "well, believe it or not, all these parts lying on the floor are required for the machine to function. Once I am done fixing this stuff I will reinstall them and we will go from there". This question has come from the highly educated, too. Anytime you feel unappreciated in work, just remember as an analytical minded tech you are capable of actually viewing the same situation and immediately come to the conclusion that the machine cannot function in its present state, without even asking. Your PHD is in common sense, which is not as common as you think. Unless you really DO have a PHD, which would beg the question "why are you working on copiers?

[Phil B.]

Re: And the correct response is....

Lol. My usual response to this one is "well, believe it or not, all these parts lying on the floor are required for the machine to function. Once I am done fixing this stuff I will reinstall them and we will go from there". This question has come from the highly educated, too. Anytime you feel unappreciated in work, just remember as an analytical minded tech you are capable of actually viewing the same situation and immediately come to the conclusion that the machine cannot function in its present state, without even asking. Your PHD is in common sense, which is not as common as you think. Unless you really DO have a PHD, which would beg the question "why are you working on copiers?

it's always the ones with: PHD .. MD .... ESQ that ask those stupid ass questions....

I always reply " Well you're the one with the 8yr degree.. YOU couldn't fix it? .. hmm never mind I'll set my own broken bone.."

or the " This G**D***** thing is always breaking down..." Well 'Suzie' over in accounting said she saw you break it and walk away!"

hell I have a snarky answer for ANY stupid question they ask... yes I think very quickly on my feet!

[JDYAL]

Re: And the correct response is....

If I wouldn't lose my job I would really lose my sh*t on them. Example;

Customer: "My doc feeder is always jamming"

As I look around the machine there are hundreds of pulled staples around the machine on the floor.

Me:"Well Mr. customer if you and your stupid ass employees would stop using the top of the copier as a desk top and pulling staples maybe I wouldn't have to come here every week and pull them out of the doc feeder. Just to let you know next time I have to come here for this bullsh*t I'm going to pack your copier full of C4 and walk away......very far away.

Unfortunately we as Techs are trained in the fine art of bullsh*tery and always try to keep those brainless idiots happy.

[Lagonda]

Re: And the correct response is....

Customer; Why does this piece of crap keep breaking down, I paid $15,000 for it!
Me, Funny, they usually sell for $8,000........................
Then keep out of the salesman's way for the next month!

[gneebore]

Re: And the correct response is....

If I wouldn't lose my job I would really lose my sh*t on them. Example;

Customer: "My doc feeder is always jamming"

As I look around the machine there are hundreds of pulled staples around the machine on the floor.

Me:"Well Mr. customer if you and your stupid ass employees would stop using the top of the copier as a desk top and pulling staples maybe I wouldn't have to come here every week and pull them out of the doc feeder. Just to let you know next time I have to come here for this bullsh*t I'm going to pack your copier full of C4 and walk away......very far away.

Unfortunately we as Techs are trained in the fine art of bullsh*tery and always try to keep those brainless idiots happy.

Actually had a customer that was the same kind of calls. Once on a call as I got there the senior partner of the law firm was just getting ready to use the copier and asked if he could make a quick copy before I started. I told him yes. Well he put his paper in the doc feeder and it jammed. He pulled the papers out and lifted the doc feeder to use the glass and two paper clips fell out of the doc feeder onto the copier. He turned and asked me if I was there to fix a jam problem in the feeder and how many times in the recent past had I removed paper clips and staples from the feeder. I showed him the history sticker that showed six calls in two months for the same problem. He immediately took a piece of paper and wrote "DO not take staples or paper clips off of papers on top of copier use the table next to it for that job" Then signed his name. That customer became a service cycle and supplies delivery only for service calls from there on. Of course one of the secretaries blamed me for all the "extra steps needed to use the document feeder without paper clips near the machine"

[zed255]

Re: And the correct response is....

My favorite one and one I've replied back with wit is the one when they say, "I don't suppose I can make a copy (or print or scan or send a fax, etc.) right now?" when all the guts of the machine are laying all over the floor and every cover is off the machine. I've replied to that one using this analogy "You wouldn't ask your mechanic that has your vehicle up in the air, servicing it for whatever reason, oil change, transmission work, replace tires, etc., if you could please make a quick trip to the store, would you?". Once they see the idiocy of the question they just asked, I get all happy inside.

Ooh, I love this one. I have been known to just stand back and let 'me have at 'er! The confused look is priceless.

Otherwise, my pat response is usually similar to above:

"You wouldn't expect to drive your car with the mechanic hanging out from under the hood, would you?"

[tonerhead]

Re: And the correct response is....

The machine is apart and someone asks "can I make a quick copy?" I have replied "not unless you have tracing or carbon paper" Millenials don't have a clue what these are and just stare at you with a blank look. An older teacher I said this to once laughed and said "I think you have been sniffing the duplicator liquid again"