And the correct response is....

[dave w]

Re: And the correct response is....

Customer " That looks like a serious job with all the bits removed"

I normaly say " Hope you were watching as i espect you to put it back together again "

[FrohnB]

Re: And the correct response is....

Love some of these responses you guys have. They are very "Here's your sign" - ish (Bill Engvall).

A couple that I have used (with a great customer who flings shit right back at me),

Machine in pieces, customer walks up and exclaims, "Oh, is the copier broken again!?."

Me: "Nope, just wanted to see how many screws were in here".


Machine in pieces, hands and face in machine, customer walks up and asks, "Working on the copier?"

Me: "Nope, just looking for my keys."



Machine in pieces, customer walks up and asks, "Why doesn't the copier work?"

Me: "Because It can't find a job."


lame I know, but the old guy in the office gets a good chuckle every time.

[Nachoman4life]

Re: And the correct response is....

Customer: Are you going to be able to put that back together again?
Me: Im just the disassembly guy, the reassemble guy will be by tomorrow.

[tonerhead]

Re: And the correct response is....

Machine in pieces. Snoopy customer picks up a piece to examine it. I would love to say, "Oh, no, put that piece down." You can only touch that piece with disposible gloves. Unless you want to get sick, you must wash your hands for 5 minutes and drink 3 glasses of water directly aftwards.

Machine in pieces. Customer's dog bugging me. Me to customer, I just about killed your dog, I put this piece down and it started sniffing at it, then I remembered the toxins in it and got it away. Customer rushes over and locks dog in another room. (actually happened).


One of my all time favorite and effective lines. You can't have a mini fridge, space heater, shredder, computer, and copier plugged into the same outlet or power strip. I am going to have you sign a form releasing me from any fire/damage due to electrical overload. It gets a little more attention when you know it is an electrical power issue, not the copier. (actually happened several times definitely gets the attention of their management, just have a form ready though)


Sample form

I, Joe Customer working for Customer Company have been informed of a possible electrical overload condition by Joe Service. Having been informed, Customer Company releases Service Company from damages occurring due to electrical overload.

Sign and Date Sign and Date

Joe Service Joe Customer


You would be surprised the rapid correction that takes place especially if mgmt signs off. Everyone is afraid to sign.

[tonerhead]

Re: And the correct response is....

Customer: Are you going to be able to put that back together again?
Me: Im just the disassembly guy, the reassemble guy will be by tomorrow.

Great minds think alike, I've actually used that one.

[Coptech]

Re: And the correct response is....

When I was young, the technician working on my stereo had a polite way of telling me he didn't like someone watch over his shoulder as he worked... He told me "I will make you a deal, I will buy you a coke if you will go somewhere else to drink it".

[gneebore]

Re: And the correct response is....

One of my all time favorite and effective lines. You can't have a mini fridge, space heater, shredder, computer, and copier plugged into the same outlet or power strip. I am going to have you sign a form releasing me from any fire/damage due to electrical overload. It gets a little more attention when you know it is an electrical power issue, not the copier. (actually happened several times definitely gets the attention of their management, just have a form ready though)


.

Worst ones I can remember were the construction trailer offices. Went to one that had the copier. the fax, then a microwave, and a few other phone charger stations and finally a toaster oven all on the same circuit, but not the same outlet. The poor copier was throwing a fuser code because with the micro wave and toaster oven running the fuser when in energy save mode was cooled down and then would take too long to get to operating temperature because the three heavy power users would drop the current enough to not provide the copier with enough current. Worst part was I reset the code twice without knowing that the machines were all on the same circuit until one day when actually just delivering supplies and the secretary and one of the job site workers were in the trailer warming up their lunch. And while getting a copy count I actually saw the fuser lamp which was on dim and go out when the microwave was started. Then we did a check and found the machines were all on the same power circuit. I wrote them up and explained that the copier had to be on a dedicated power outlet or there would no longer be any free services on the copier until the problem was corrected. They took the micro wave and toaster oven and put them in the small kitchen which is where they should have been to begin with but according to the office manager didn't have enough room for them.. But I never connected the two machines with the problem because they were actually on the other side of the room from the copier until I saw the fuser go out when I knew it was supposed to be on..

[Kimi]

Re: And the correct response is....

"I suppose it will work since you are here" Lord, I hate this one. I feel like replying "Of course it will, afterall, I have read the manual, loaded the paper correctly, and haven't tried to manhandle the machine like you f-tards".

brilliant!

[dave w]

Re: And the correct response is....

Talking about Microwaves

We look after a school and the copier was one one side of a wall and the other side was the kitchen with 8 industrial microwaves against the same wall.

Not only was the coper doing some strange things the Server was also have issues.

We moved the copier & server away from the wall and all was fine.

[roho]

Re: And the correct response is....

I had just arrived at a customer I had never been to before to do some work on a Canon CLC 1180, a colour machine popular years ago, these things were ahead of their time for output quality but required quite a bit of service. The Graphic Manager met me at the door during a very cold winter morning and my glasses frosted over while carrying my tool kit and vacuum. I haven't seen the machine, did not get a description about the problem from their call in. The manager asks me how long is this going to take and I replied somewhat snarky " How long is a piece of string?". I could hear snickering from his staff. I had to return with some parts and the next day the staff were still laughing at my reply to their manager. Returned there for another matter months later and was still getting laughs from them. Funny, never did talk to the manager again.

[Debs1964]

Re: And the correct response is....

You can only begin to imagine the comments I've had being a female technician, this is my favourite, with my actual response.

Many years ago I had a Xerox (probably 5028) with a regular DF problem. I can't remember the fault, but it used to happen once every few days, and a reboot sorted it. A colleague and I had pretty much replaced every sensor and board in the DF, so now the only obvious part left to replace was the wiring harness. So, there I was working on the copier with what looked like a mass of spaghetti falling out of the top (I didn't realise I didn't have to remove each and every tie wrap) when one of the top managers walked in. He looked at me and asked if I knew what I was doing, a question he would undoubtedly not have asked a man!!! So I looked at him and told him that I thought I'd been thrown in the deep end as I'd only been with the company a week, and this was my first call on my own.
The look on his face was priceless as he walked out of the office, the women in that office thought it was hilarious, and that it served him right.
Oh, and that fixed the problem too

[Phil B.]

Re: And the correct response is....

You can only begin to imagine the comments I've had being a female technician, this is my favourite, with my actual response.

Many years ago I had a Xerox (probably 5028) with a regular DF problem. I can't remember the fault, but it used to happen once every few days, and a reboot sorted it. A colleague and I had pretty much replaced every sensor and board in the DF, so now the only obvious part left to replace was the wiring harness. So, there I was working on the copier with what looked like a mass of spaghetti falling out of the top (I didn't realise I didn't have to remove each and every tie wrap) when one of the top managers walked in. He looked at me and asked if I knew what I was doing, a question he would undoubtedly not have asked a man!!! So I looked at him and told him that I thought I'd been thrown in the deep end as I'd only been with the company a week, and this was my first call on my own.
The look on his face was priceless as he walked out of the office, the women in that office thought it was hilarious, and that it served him right.
Oh, and that fixed the problem too

PRICELESS!!!