And the correct response is....

[tonerhead]

Re: And the correct response is....

"I suppose it will work since you are here" Lord, I hate this one. I feel like replying "Of course it will, afterall, I have read the manual, loaded the paper correctly, and haven't tried to manhandle the machine like you f-tards".

[kingarthur]

Re: And the correct response is....

When customers ask if they can use the copier when it's in bits, I normally say "hold on", then stick my left arm inside, and say "right if you hold onto my right arm, then hold onto that piece there, we'll see if anything comes out..."

Quite often I get asked, "oh..you must think I'm really stupid", to which I reply, "I don't really know you well enough to answer that, but apparently the customers always right"....it takes a while for that one to sink in.....

[Coptech]

Re: And the correct response is....

My favorite one and one I've replied back with wit is the one when they say, "I don't suppose I can make a copy (or print or scan or send a fax, etc.) right now?" when all the guts of the machine are laying all over the floor and every cover is off the machine. I've replied to that one using this analogy "You wouldn't ask your mechanic that has your vehicle up in the air, servicing it for whatever reason, oil change, transmission work, replace tires, etc., if you could please make a quick trip to the store, would you?". Once they see the idiocy of the question they just asked, I get all happy inside.

How about "Oh shit! This is the copier I took apart?" I'm here for the postage meter.

[dave w]

Re: And the correct response is....

Back again?....you should have an office here?


Correct responses are "No thank you, I already own this building" or "No thank you, not into slumming"

Ive had that comment a few times

my respoce is " Im planning on being invited to the Christmas Office Party "

[tonerhead]

Re: And the correct response is....

Ive had that comment a few times

my respoce is " Im planning on being invited to the Christmas Office Party "

I've also said I'm back for the free coffee.

[roho]

Re: And the correct response is....

Ive had that comment a few times

my respoce is " Im planning on being invited to the Christmas Office Party "

I always say " I bet I could show up at the Christmas Party and no one would blink". That usually gets a smile and a laugh and then I get left alone after that.

[guitar9199]

Re: And the correct response is....

Canon iR5050 in a High School... service call for paper not feeding.

I arrive to find someone had loaded FULL reams of paper in the tandem tray..... WITHOUT removing the wrapper.

My "snarky" comment was.... "Man, if only you guys had ordered the 'Unwrap' option when you bought this machine.... We still have to do it manually."

...The teacher who called it in said, "Is there really such an option??"..... I said "no" and smiled. I think 26 was the number of shades of red her face got.


Thankfully, the principal and I were buds, so I felt somewhat safe.

[Lagonda]

Re: And the correct response is....

Angry customer " .....and I'm a personal friend of your MD......"

"Well that denies that rumour" says me.

Fortunately the MD never worked out who the tech was.

[dave w]

Re: And the correct response is....

Customer " Any chance you can repair it properly this time"

My responce is normaly " Its job creation, If I did it right the first time I would be out of a job"

[JDYAL]

Re: And the correct response is....

Machine in pieces......" Do you mind if I use the machine".....Grrrrrr

"Do you mind if I stand on your keyboard while you type."

[tonerhead]

Re: And the correct response is....

Machine in pieces. Are you going to be able to put that back together? Why, are you volunteering to do it?

Machine in pieces. Do you ever have extra parts when you are done? Yes, most of the time I don't put the broken parts back in.

Machine in pieces. You sure are making a mess. They said someone would clean up after me, is that you?

Machine in pieces. How much longer before I can make a copy? One minute longer than the time required before you interrupted me

Machine in pieces. What does this part do? And this part? And this part?.......Trade secret, if you knew, I'd have to kill you.

Machine in pieces. Can I borrow your screwdriver? Mary's desk has a loose screw. Sure, can I borrow your wife for tonight?

Machine in pieces. They walk through instead of around the work area. Hey, didn't your mother ever teach you manners? Can I walk across your desk when I'm done?

[kingarthur]

Re: And the correct response is....

Machine in pieces. Are you going to be able to put that back together? Why, are you volunteering to do it?

Machine in pieces. Do you ever have extra parts when you are done? Yes, most of the time I don't put the broken parts back in.

Machine in pieces. You sure are making a mess. They said someone would clean up after me, is that you?

Machine in pieces. How much longer before I can make a copy? One minute longer than the time required before you interrupted me

Machine in pieces. What does this part do? And this part? And this part?.......Trade secret, if you knew, I'd have to kill you.

Machine in pieces. Can I borrow your screwdriver? Mary's desk has a loose screw. Sure, can I borrow your wife for tonight?

Machine in pieces. They walk through instead of around the work area. Hey, didn't your mother ever teach you manners? Can I walk across your desk when I'm done?

Machine in pieces. I hope you know how to put it all back together....Actually I was hoping you were watching what I was doing, so you can help me..

[kingarthur]

Re: And the correct response is....

Accidentally left a manual at a customers once, customer phoned up to say it was there, my boss replied, "Actually he left it on purpose...hoping you'd be able to fix it yourselves...."

[tsbservice]

Re: And the correct response is....

Machine in pieces. Are you going to be able to put that back together? Why, are you volunteering to do it?

Machine in pieces. Do you ever have extra parts when you are done? Yes, most of the time I don't put the broken parts back in.

Machine in pieces. You sure are making a mess. They said someone would clean up after me, is that you?

Machine in pieces. How much longer before I can make a copy? One minute longer than the time required before you interrupted me

Machine in pieces. What does this part do? And this part? And this part?.......Trade secret, if you knew, I'd have to kill you.

Machine in pieces. Can I borrow your screwdriver? Mary's desk has a loose screw. Sure, can I borrow your wife for tonight?

Machine in pieces. They walk through instead of around the work area. Hey, didn't your mother ever teach you manners? Can I walk across your desk when I'm done?

Brilliant, I wish I could slap them with such smart answers.
Guess I'm too weak plus my boss give them a sticks ...and I prefer carrots.

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[Coptech]

Re: And the correct response is....

If you want to shut them up, point to something across the room and ask "can you get that for me? My ankle bracelet is beeping and I am afraid I am at my limit."

They will watch you in silence after that...