The Ass Copier 5000 is the ideal business device for reproducing cheeky materials.
For longer than anyone can remember, ass-copying technology has always been too far "behind" the times, taking up the rear in function-specific business innovations. However, there is a new business product available which is expected to give the rump-replicating market a good kick in the pants--the ass copier.
Most business photocopy machines are still black and white. While the base model ASS 5000 uses standard toner, the ASS 5001 is a full-colour machine with a special skin-tone palette for more accurate reproductions--without constant recalibration. The manufacturer claims accuracy for everyone from the whitest white to the most tanned black--and everyone in between.
At a stellar 20 cheeks-per-minute the machine is fast enough for "run-and-grab" moments when you know the boss is just around the corner. A special teflon-like coating on the glass means smears, smudges, and streaks are easy to remove.
The bottom line is that the ASS 5000 and ASS 5001 are the business solutions to meet your ass-copying requirements.
The manufacturer has plans to expand their product line in the next two years with a PC scrotum scanner, a virtual pelvic mapper, and a digital ass camera. They're cheeky products that'll do in a pinch.
For longer than anyone can remember, ass-copying technology has always been too far "behind" the times, taking up the rear in function-specific business innovations. However, there is a new business product available which is expected to give the rump-replicating market a good kick in the pants--the ass copier.
Most business photocopy machines are still black and white. While the base model ASS 5000 uses standard toner, the ASS 5001 is a full-colour machine with a special skin-tone palette for more accurate reproductions--without constant recalibration. The manufacturer claims accuracy for everyone from the whitest white to the most tanned black--and everyone in between.
At a stellar 20 cheeks-per-minute the machine is fast enough for "run-and-grab" moments when you know the boss is just around the corner. A special teflon-like coating on the glass means smears, smudges, and streaks are easy to remove.
The bottom line is that the ASS 5000 and ASS 5001 are the business solutions to meet your ass-copying requirements.
The manufacturer has plans to expand their product line in the next two years with a PC scrotum scanner, a virtual pelvic mapper, and a digital ass camera. They're cheeky products that'll do in a pinch.
They call it "TECH MODE" for a reason. I have manual's and firmware for ya, course... you are going to have to earn it.
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